Tomorrow Is Another Day...

I Run Because.

I can still vividly remember the first time I ever went "for a run".

Of course I had run before--on the playground playing chase, when I was late for the school bus, when I was forced to participate in a sportsball game--but I had never run just for the sake of running.  I remember going to a sleepover in middle school and my friend's father came in early in the morning to wake her up so she could go run with him.  This was just mind blowingly crazy to me.

So then I get to high school, join Army JROTC and become laser focused on earning every uniform ribbon I could possibly get my greedy, over-achieving little fingers on.  I was determined that my ribbon rack would rival that of any South American military dictator.  One of those ribbons could be earned by running a mile in something like 10 minutes or less.  Ten minutes.  One mile.  This seemed achievable  and I figured I could devote ten minutes of my day to running around the block if it meant I could add another feather to my cap.  Or ribbon to my rack.  It's sort of embarrassing the things that excited me when I was sixteen.

My best friend and I decided to run together every day after school and would reward ourselves with a Backstreet Boys listening party following each run.  I earned my ribbon and there ended any relationship with my running shoes.  I may even have been running in Keds.  This is how seriously I took it.

Then I ended up stumbling onto a path that led me to Air Force ROTC in college and running became the stumbling block that threatened my full scholarship for four solid years.  I hated it with a passion.  I had no idea how to train.  I would just try to run for as long as I could and as fast as I could for a month prior to my physical fitness test and then hope I would pass it by the skin of my teeth.  I was always one of the slowest runners and I never seemed to get any faster.  It was embarrassing and exhausting and defeating.

What followed was another two years of military service where I just did the best I could to pass my fitness tests and my relationship with running became more and more soured.

Then one day, I heard about this program that was created to train a non runner for a 5K in two months.  Starting from walking and going to running 3 miles in just two months when I felt like I had spent my entire adult life just battling to finish 2 measly miles seemed like a long shot, but it was one I decided to take when I embarked on my first Couch to 5K run.  And after a couple of months, I was indeed able to run 3 miles.  Not fast.  But nobody was counting.  My running was finally my own.

When we moved to Charleston, we kept hearing about this Bridge Run that it seemed like all of the locals participated in.  It was a 10K which seemed pretty daunting, but I found another training program similar to the C25K and decided to give it another long shot.  And I did it.  Six miles.  And that's when it occurred to me that maybe a half marathon would be another crazy, ridiculous long shot that I could take.  And so I did it.  Then I did it again.

There is nothing like spending your whole life thinking one thing about yourself and discovering something entirely different.  Realizing that the limits you've felt were entirely self-imposed.  That you've spent your life viewing yourself through the wrong lens.  Like you've been looking in a fun house mirror and are finally seeing the truth.

I always demurred and insisted that I wasn't a runner.  If anything, I was a jogger.  A turtle.  Just barely managing to put one foot in front of another.

But do you know how I know that I am a runner?

Because I run.

I'm still not fast.  I don't run to win races.  I don't run to be faster than anyone else.  I don't run to pass a test or earn a ribbon or maintain a scholarship.  I run for me.  If I'm being completely honest, I don't even run to keep myself healthy, or in shape, or to get out of the house.

I RUN BECAUSE I NEVER THOUGHT I COULD.

And I can.

Getting Back Into Running: Then vs. Now

There are two times of year when my running habit falls by the wayside--the height of summer and the depths of winter.  I haven't tied on my running shoes with any regularity since November, but now that the temperatures are rising out of the freezing range and the sun is peeking out a little more frequently, it seems like a good time to start getting back into pounding the pavement.  However, as I just barely managed to wrangle us all out the door today, I couldn't help but reflect on the fact that a certain degree of difficulty has been added to this one time fairly simple routine.

Here, a comparison, based on actual events.

Running Pre-Children:

1:45 PM: Note that the sun is beaming through the windows and most of the snow has melted, decide to head out for a quick run.

1:47 PM: Having located running shoes, iPod or other patented listening device, and sunglasses, walk outside.

1:48 PM: Start running.

Running Post-Children:

1:45 PM: Note that the sun is beaming through the windows and most of the snow has melted, decide to head out for a quick run.

1:50 PM: Go down to basement and drag enormous double jogging stroller up a flight of stairs, stare at it quizzically in its half-unfolded state trying to remember how to reassemble it.

1:52 PM: Consider leaving children in pajamas since they'll be wearing jackets anyway, but realize if you do this, you will definitely run into someone you know and the telltale owl/cat footies will totally give you away and they'll probably judge you a little bit.  Go in search of clothes.

2:05 PM: Having riffled through unfolded laundry basket and successfully located pants that still fit your children, engaged in a battle of wills upon trying to put a white sock on the child as she screeches "different white sock", and jammed a hat on her head to disguise unbrushed hair, congratulate self on basic accomplishment of dressing a child.  Realize you still have to dress the other one.

2:10 PM: Both children are dressed.  Can't find their jackets.

2:12 PM: Remember you left the jackets in the car.

2:15 PM: Children have been stuffed into jackets and loaded into stroller.  Have to declare war on stroller buckles in order to lengthen straps enough to snap closed.

2:17 PM: Getting ready to walk out the door.  Feel a sudden intense call of nature.  Go to bathroom.

2:20 PM: Out the door!  Podcast is playing!  Sun is shining!  Success!

2:21 PM: Realization that children have gained close to 10 pounds collectively since the last time you pushed them in the stroller.

2:22 PM:  And the wheels are flat.

2:23 PM:  And it's seven minutes to nap time.

So, maybe it wasn't the most successful run of my life, but hey, we made it out the door, and at least next time the stroller will already be assembled.

Meanwhile, Back At the Homestead...

Despite the fact that all I've been talking about lately is traveling, there have been some breaks from the excursions for us to have a little bit of a life at home this summer.
I never talked in any detail about my half marathon, but it was a really great experience that has only left me wanting more!  I enjoyed my training a great deal.  I was fortunate to have family in town for the latter part so that I was able to do my longer runs without the jogging stroller.  As physically tough as it is to get out there and run for hours, it was an amazing sanity break.  No one crying, trying to climb my leg, asking for a snack then pushing it away and shouting "NO!".  Ahhhh, blessed peace!

The run is a very popular one, so I had no worries about being the last one across the finish line.  It was almost entirely flat and paved, and I liked that I didn't have to wake up at the crack of dawn since it was a night race.  The drawbacks were that there were a couple of parts on the course that weren't terribly well marked, and there was one sickening half mile where I was reasonably certain I had missed a turn and ended up on the full marathon course.  Then once the race was over and the runners were funneled into the finisher's festival, it was very difficult to figure out how to meet up with Colby who was not a part of the race.  It took us about 45 minutes to find each other, and by the time we got home it was close to midnight, and everyone else was snoring peacefully in their bed while I was trying to quell the endorphin rush I was still riding!
But bottom line was that it was a great experience and I met my goal of running sub 12 minute miles.  I finished in 2:36:09, averaging 11:54/mile and beating my previous half marathon PR by over 2 minutes (previous PR was 2:38:37).  Yay me!

In the realm of big life events, Colby and I have been having lots of talks about where life and the Air Force will likely be taking us next and what our long term visions are for the next ten years.  It's so hard to believe that this summer he reached 12 years in the Air Force.  I can still vividly remember watching him swear his oath of office for the first time.  It's remarkable to me that we're likely closer to his separation from military life than the start of it.  So, no news on that front yet, but we hope we'll have some answers or at least narrowed down the options within the next couple of months.

We enjoyed the remainder of my parents' visit to Germany, and had to say goodbye to them on Tuesday.  Of couse, that was also the day that Coby left on a trip, leaving the girls and me to try to remember how to function with just the three of us!  Answer:  Lots of help from Elmo.  But that is not to last for long as Colby gets home tonight and MY SISTER ARRIVES TOMORROW!!!!  I'm just a wee bit excited.

Her arrival kicks off our last furious explosion of travels as we wrap up a pretty epic summer.  Brittany and I are taking Charlotte and Annabelle and heading to Marseilles next week, and then after a week of recovery and on the job training at home, Colby and I are ditching her with the girls while we jet off for a kid-free vacation to Croatia and Bosnia.  I am feeling equal parts glee and terror at the thought of being without my babies for 9 days.  I'm not sure I remember how to eat dinner without a meltdown from one of my table companions (usually a toddler, sometimes me) or how to go to bed without at least two snuggles and a rendition of Old MacDonald sung in three part harmony.

So, it may be another bit of time before I get my next post up.  We had a terrible incident with the SD card containing the majority of our Copenhagen and Baltic cruise photos, but hopefully we'll be able to complete at least a semi-recovery soon so that I can write up that recap as well as my trip to Garmisch with my parents and the girls.  I should have plenty of time for all of that come September when we have nothing planned.  Nothing... nothing... nothing... I almost find myself looking forward to it!

Eight Days Until Thirteen Miles

Somehow, I'm down to only eight more days standing between me and my half marathon.  The 12 weeks of training has gone by crazy fast, but I'm actually feeling pretty good about my ability to meet my goal of running <12 minute miles.

I found an awesome relatively flat trail for my long runs--no easy feat in our village.  We live in an absolutely gorgeous area, with tons of beautiful running and biking trails, but we are also in the midst of a number of hills and valleys, making for great difficulty in finding 10 miles roundtrip of flat land!  But there's a nice hard packed dirt trail that runs along the train tracks for a while and then through some farmland, so it's not only free of hills, but also almost entirely free of cars.

I've been watching the weather with some trepidation ever since the 31st came within the 10 day forecast.  It changes from hour to hour--this morning there was a 50% chance of showers, now it's down to 30%.  So, I will continue to stress over it for the next week instead of thinking about the fact that I will have to ambulate in a forward motion for 13.1 miles at what would typically be dinner time.

As I'm signed up for a night marathon, the question of what to eat throughout the day and when to stop eating has been on my mind almost as much as the weather.  I'm leaning toward a late lunch of spaghetti with parmesan and a pre-run snack of a Larabar and a banana, and I'll just have to hope that, um, the plumbing all cooperates.

So, this is it.  I've got three more runs and a day of cross training.  I've got my podcasts picked out (A little Judge John Hodgeman and Pop Culture Happy Hour to hopefully keep me giggling instead of crying).  I'll be gearing up in my favorite running capris and comfiest shirt, and I'm ready to go!  Or as ready as I'm going to be.

Now, to just get through the next eight days without breaking an ankle or picking up a terrible bronchial infection.  Wish me luck!

Half Marathon 2: Masochist Boogaloo

i kind of can't believe I'm saying this, but this week, I started training for my second half marathon.  Essentially, since I finished my last half, I've been saying I wanted to run another one, especially now that we're in Germany where it seems like there's an amazing half going on within a 3 hour radius on any given weekend.

But, shortly after my first half, in Charleston, we started fertility treatments which ever so happily were successful and resulted in a high risk pregnancy that I was utterly terrified of losing, so I stopped running once things got remotely uncomfortable.  Then there were the two little babies born who took a fair amount of time and effort, and now, here we are, a little over two years later, where I'm finally in a place where I feel I can devote the time and energy to race training.

I've been running off and on for the past year, but largely off since the winter when the grey days sapped my energy and motivation.  I've been keeping up with a cardio kickboxing class for a couple of months, and doing some Jillian Michaels videos, with a few runs here and there, but last week I sat down with a bunch of training calendars and built one that I feel will get me into adequate shape for a half at the end of May.

My number one goal is to finish the race.  I'm not a speedy runner, but I would like to beat my previous time of 12:05/minute, or 2:38:37.  I got horribly sick with a bronchial infection about two weeks before my last race, which meant my longest training run was nine miles, and I barely ran at all in those weeks leading up to the half.  If I can just stay healthy and consistent, I think a 12 minutes per mile goal is reasonable.

We are extremely fortunate to be experiencing an astoundingly gorgeous spring here in Germany.  It gets cold at night, but by late morning the temperatures are in the upper 50s to low 60s and sunny, sunny, sunny.  It has made for some really enjoyable runs, and I'm looking forward to this challenge.

Anyone else training for a race?  Let's keep each other motivated!

Run, Run As Fast As You Can, You'll... Probably Catch Me

I've had an on and off relationship with exercise since Charlotte and Annabelle were born.  The first six months were purely about survival, and while I would try to get a run in every now and again, I was probably only averaging one 2-3 mile "run" every couple of weeks.

Then, two things happened that helped ignite the endorphin fueled fire under me to work out more regularly.  1) We bought a double BOB jogging stroller, drastically reducing the number of excuses I could make about why I was opting to catch up on my Hulu queue instead of going for a run. 2) My sister came to stay for three months and watched the girls for me a few times a week so that I could go to some classes at the base on gym.  I found a barre/pilates fusion class that I really enjoyed and also got hooked on cardio kickboxing.  Sadly, all good things must come to an end, and that includes my sister's visit.  There's no childcare at the gym, because let's face it, this is the military, so bare minimum is the best we can expect when it comes to family support, so I stopped going to classes on base and started focusing on running.

I started going for 3-4 mile runs 3 or 4 times a week, and was geting back to the point where I really enjoyed them again.  It was hard to start back at the very beginning of my training, remembering how just a couple of years ago I ran a 10K and a half marathon.  But I tried to be patient with myself and stick with my trusty Couch to 5K program and before I knew it, I had gotten my pace down from a 13ish minute mile to an 11ish minute mile.  Not going to qualify in the Olympic trials, but I've never been a speedy runner--9 minute miles are a sprint for me--so I was pretty proud of myself.

Then it happened. Fall in Germany.  Early fall was actually pretty beautiful and temperate, perfect for running.  But the drear and rain, it is upon us.  In the past couple of weeks, I've only managed to run twice, and judging by The Weather Channel app, I won't be getting another chance for a run this week.  I don't so much mind running in the cold, but in the cold rain?  Nope.  Not gonna happen.

A month ago, I was actually contemplating registering for the Paris half marathon, but it's in April.  I just don't know if I'll be able to force myself to train in weather like we had last year from November through April.  I hate this season so, so much.  I love a lot of things about living in Germany, but I would love it a lot more if we could migrate to Australia for the next few months.

I am registered for a 5k with Colby and my sis while we're in Louisiana, and I think it will be fun, though I doubt I'll be leading the charge.  I'm hoping that after the past few weeks of constant rain, we'll get a little break from the precipitation and I'll be able to hit the pavement again.  I've also been wanting to find someone to come watch the girls a few times a week so I can get back to the gym, so that's a goal for after the holidays.

I really do feel like my mood is so much better when I'm not just sitting on my duff all day, but man, it's tough to be inspired to do anything when it looks like the beginning of a black and white horror film outside, complete with lashing rain and villagers with pitchforks.  It's a vicious cycle.  Ugh.  I think it's time to break out the vitamin D pills.

Charleston Marathon: The Half Aftermath

I did it!

Saturday morning, I rolled out of bed at 5 in the morning and bundled up in my warmest running attire for the coldest, longest run of my entire life.  I downed some maximum strength Mucinex, a glass of water, and grabbed a peanut butter sandwich for the road, and by 6:30 I was in the car with some friends on our way to the old Navy Yard.  As became the theme of the race, some people had some issues with the shuttle buses dropping them off late for the start of the race, and I would certainly agree that they could have used a few more buses at the finish, but I also feel like if you show up at 7:30 for a race that starts at 8 am 13 miles away, you can't really be toooo angry if you aren't there exactly on time.

The buses dropped us off a couple of blocks from the start and we got in the long line for the porta potties.  Fortunately, the lines moved pretty quickly, and I had plenty of time to drop off my bag and we got to the start about 10 minutes before 8.

It was still in the mid 30s at this point, and the wind was whipping pretty strongly.  I had on some capri running pants, and spaghetti strap cami under the long sleeve race tee under a zip up compression running jacket.  I had cut the feet off some wool socks and was wearing them like leg warmers, and some ear muffs, and still we were hopping around trying to keep warm.  Finally, it was start time, and while the walk up to the start mat was slow, I was able to get off to a good pace as soon as I hit the starting line to the blasting theme of Chariots of Fire.  I was very glad that they were using chip time instead of just gun time to track our race time.
The first four miles were beautiful.  We started at the top of East Bay and made our way around the peninsula, running through the historic downtown and along the beautiful battery.  Fortunately, despite the cold, the sun was shining and it was truly a magical feeling knowing that all of my training had led up to this moment.  Unfortunately, as documented here, I'd gone a long ten day stretch with no running at all, had only fit in three training runs in the week prior to the race (3 miles, 4 miles, and 5 miles) that had all been incredibly awful, and I was still coughing and feeling a bit of congestion in my chest, so the magic was not to last for long.

I started to cough a bit around mile 5, which was also the first time I actually saw a mile marker.  This was also right around the time that I realized I had accidentally pushed a button on my watch that stopped my timer and I had no idea how long I'd been running.  This was also around the time that the route got a lot less scenic.  The good part of the route is that it was incredibly flat--I can see how adding in more scenic parts of the lowcountry would require bridges which of course involve inclines.  But I wouldn't have minded crossing the Ravenel Bridge to get into the Mt Pleasant/Shem Creek area instead of the exceptionally sketchy North Charleston area.  However, at mile 8 I was extremely grateful for the flat road, and mile 9 marked the longest I had ever gone in a training run.

I was feeling pretty tired at this point, and my hips were a little sore, but I was lucky that there was plenty of water and Powerade available at each of the mile markers.  Apparently this didn't hold true for some people, and I can't imagine how brutal it must have felt running all those miles with no hydration.  By the time I hit mile 11 my legs were DONE and I was just praying to make it to the end of the course.  I was still forcing myself to run some, but there was a lot of walking happening at this point.
The course did get a bit prettier in the last couple of miles as we ran through a residential area and along the waterfront, and my mood improved when I saw mile 12 looming.  I got my last cup of water and took off for the end of the course.  I finished the race at a run, and crossed the finish line at 2:38:37, or a 12:05 minute mile pace.  I got my medal (which again, a number of racers who finished after me didn't get because the organiers ran out early), and suddenly there was Colby with his camera and a giant hug.

I collapsed on the curb to attempt a stretch while I sent him off in search of water.  At the moment, I was thinking thank jebus that's over, but with some reflection and distance I'm really thinking I'd like to to another half.  I think with proper training and hopefully not getting sick right before the race, I could probably shave about a minute off of my pace, and I really did find the majority of the run bearable.  It was only the last few miles that were miserable at the time and I think it was only because I'd never made it that far in my training.  I was pretty sore and tired on Saturday after the race, Sunday I actually felt a little less sore, and by Monday I felt totally back to normal.

Charleston Marathon specific, I think the course could certainly use some improvements, and for safety reasons, there MUST be water along the course for everyone.  People came from 46 states to participate in this race, and it would be nice to show them the beauty of the lowcountry instead of strip clubs and crack dens.  But I did very much appreciate the flatness of the course, and I think for it only being the race's second year in existence they did a great job.
Up next is the Cooper River Bridge 10K at the end of March.  Today I'm hitting the pavement again for my first post-race run, but I'm excited about cutting out some of my runs each week and adding back in my quality time with Jillian Michaels and Jackie Warner.

Stressballs

Eleven days after it first began, I am STILL plague-ridden.  I really thought that yesterday would be the last day of my horrid cough and froggy voice, but come bedtime, I was kept awake for hours with the gagging TB cough and woken up this morning by the same affliction.  I would feel guilty about not working out, except for the fact that my abs are actually sore from all of the coughing muscle contractions.

So, I don't necessarily feel guilty about the fact that I haven't run in 10 days, but I do feel exceptionally stressed about that fact given that I'm meant to be running a half marathon in five days.  I honestly don't know what to do.  I've always operated under the rule of symptoms above the neck, okay to run, symptoms below the neck, keep the running shoes in the closet.  But I HAVE to run this week.  I'm worried about the fact that I'm still coughing and my lungs are all mucousy (yum!) but I really need to gauge my running ability at this point.

I'm hoping to get in four or five miles today and Wednesday, then a short run on Thursday before taking Friday off in preparation for the half.  I'm comforting myself with the fact that a lot of people surely run half marathons with far less training than I've done, and if I can't run it, well by golly I sure can walk for 13 miles.  I've been working up to this for so many months now, I can't just throw in the towel and not even try.

But oh, I'm so, so disappointed.

On top of that, I'm starting to feel incredibly anxious about our house in Washington.  We had wonderful renters in it who were planning to be there long-term, but sadly they had some personal issues arise that forced them to move to a new city.  So our house has been waiting for a new occupant since December, and so far, no bites.  Our tenants were kind enough to pay their rent through the end of January, so as long as someone moves in by February 1st we aren't missing a payment, but January surely is speeding by awfully rapidly and so far no bites.

This is why I've never been remotely interested in becoming some kind of super-landlord with rental houses across the map.  It's too stressful and unpredictable, and the idea of having to pay the mortgage with no help from rental income for months on end makes me want to throw up.  In addition, we're going to have to drop thousands on our IVF procedure in February, so the extra padding in our savings account is a lot less fluffy than we would like.  And we're having to drop some money on home improvements in our Charleston house to make it ready to hit the real estate market in the next couple of months.

Ugh.  I really do have high hopes for 2012, and I'm still hopeful that things will start turning around soon, but oh my god, we are not getting off to a good start at all.

Marathon Woman

I've been keeping a secret from you.  Not intentionally.  And not very well.  But it appears that in attempting to keep up with all of my various forms of social media, one eensy weensy little thing fell through the cracks on this old blog of mine.

Remember after I ran that 10K in April, and I was all, that was great, but believe you me, I will NEVER run a half marathon?

Well, I'm training for a half marathon.  Have been since October.

I'll wait while you all peel your jaws off of the floor.

Honestly, I didn't think I had it in me.  In fact, I wasn't even all that interested in having it in me (that's what she said).  But then a funny thing happened.  I went through month after month of people telling me all of the things that my body can't do.  Or does improperly.  My ovaries are geriatric.  I'm growing a polyp farm on my uterine lining.  I'm seemingly incapable of making a baby the way billions of women have since the beginning of time.

It made me sad.  It made me angry.  It made me determined.  I wanted to prove to myself that my body is capable of anything I tell it to do.  When faced with one failure, I searched my mind for the most improbable feat I could possibly conquer.  I came up with running a marathon.  Then I had a good long laugh and started researching half marathons.

I found one in its second year in Charleston, taking place in mid-January.  The timing couldn't have been more perfect.  I could kill many hours (many, many hours) during Colby's deployment.  I could keep my body burning tons of calories around the most gluttonous time of year.  And it wouldn't interfere at all with our spring time baby making plans.

I searched around online for a training program that I felt fit me best and settled on Hal Higdon's Novice 2 schedule.  It's meant for people who are not new to running but are new to half marathons.  Then I bought a new pair of shoes, started taking a daily dose of glucosamine chondroitin for my achy joints.  Then I started running.

So far, I've gotten up to 8 miles.  In a row.  All at once.  And you know?  It's not as bad as I thought it would be.  At this point, I can't say that I'm going to be a regular half-marathoner.  My body wasn't built for running--every minute, every mile is a slog to the finish.  I find myself semi-enjoying myself right up until about five miles, then I start having illicit thoughts about my sofa.  BUT.  At the end of each long run, I feel an incredible rush of accomplishment.  Realizing that I set a goal, and I achieved it.  That I can set another goal and achieve it.  That it's just one foot in front of the other, until I reach the end.

It's actually kind of poetic how it echoes our infertility journey.  It all started with denial and fear, and now we're tying on our metaphorical running shoes and putting one foot in front of the other.  You can't run 13 miles without running the first mile.  And every mile-marker you pass puts you closer to the finish line.

As of today, I have less than a month until race day.  I'm excited, and terrified, and filled with self-doubt, but my goal is just to finish.  If I have to walk, crawl, or swipe some roller skates, I will cross that finish line.

I wish all finish lines could be so definite.  It would be such a relief to know what the future holds, and how much longer we have to keep running.  But I know our finish line is just up ahead, and with a little endurance, a lot of strength and a positive attitude, we'll get there.  And then the finish line will be just the beginning.

Ups and Downs: The I'm Still Here Edition!

Down: Clearly I abandoned NaBloPoMo.  I was all excited to participate, because when I did it a few years ago, I found lots of fun blogs and got some extra readers round these parts.  Sadly, this time it just feels incredibly impersonal, and I've had all of ONE hit from the extensive list of over 2000 participants.  I've also been feeling like blogging has been a "job" and I always promised myself that I'd never allow that to happen.  Blogging should be footloose and fancy free.  Unless someone starts paying me.  Anyone?  Bueller?
Up: That doesn't mean I've given up blogging altogether, just that I shan't be clogging up your Reader/Facebook/Twitter feed every bloody day.  I think we can all toast to that!

Down: Colby and I have had really rotten luck with the phones since he deployed.  He's been gone for just over three weeks now, and we've only managed to have one successful phone conversation.
Up: At least we got one phone call!  I try to remember how lucky we are to have all of the methods of communication that we do have available to us, and how much harder it would have been in the days of only being able to write a letter to the last known address and hoping it got there.  We got to talk for about 30 minutes on Wednesday, and it was glorious!  Here's hoping the internet continues to cooperate and we can do that again before another 3 weeks goes by.

Down: I've been so busy, I've really been letting the house go instead of sticking to my daily housekeeping chores.  I had some time to get things together today, but I've got a ways to go before my parents get in town on Monday.
Up: I've been so busy!  And my parents will be here in three days!  It really is amazing how much faster the time goes by when I'm not sitting around feeling sorry for myself.  Instead, I've been babysitting almost every day, spending time with friends, squeezing in lots of runs, and working on my Thanksgiving and Christmas to-do lists--I even made room in the budget (because I bought the tickets a month ago before there WAS a budget) to go see the national tour of In The Heights.  It made me wish I was a super sexy Latina!

Only Up!: Speaking of Thanksgiving, I'm SO excited to be hosting the big dinner at my house next week!  My parents will be in town and a few of my "single spouse" friends will be coming over with their kids to help us celebrate and feast!  I'll be talking more about my Turkey Day plans next week, but for now I need to hit the road for a seven mile run (hold me) and gear up for a working weekend.  Hasta luego mis amigos!

What Goes Down Must Come Up

Down: It has been an incredibly long week since Colby left, and I still have moments where I just want to stop whatever it is I'm doing and throw a good, loud tantrum.
Up: We're one week into this and that's one week less to get through.

Down: Colby's internet connection in Overtheristan is complete crap making it impossible for us to carry on a phone conversation over Skype.
Up: I finally figured out how to use the Skype app on my cell phone, so we're able to use the chat option like text messaging.  It's nice to not feel chained to my computer in order to hear from him.

Down: I left quite possibly the most embarrassing voicemail in my history of embarrassing voicemails for a propsective babysitting client.  I managed to 1) say "um" about seventeen times 2) refer to the two children of unknown gender who I would be watching as "her son" 3) sound as though I were about to hang up before launching into a whole new series of ridiculous sentences and 4) forget to say anything along the lines of "goodbye" before hanging up the phone and launching it across the room in sheer terror.
Up:  She called me back.  And I've got three other parent meetings set up for this weekend and early next week, as well as a job that will give me 15 hours over the course of Friday evening and Saturday.  Woo!

Down: On my Tuesday run, my knee started to feel twingy around mile two.  I kept running, and the pain was gone by the time I got home.  But then it started throbbing while I was in the shower, and has been sore ever since.  I've been scared to run on it, and tried wearing a brace yesterday, but the brace just hurt even more.  The pain has abated, so hopefully this is just a one off incident and I'll be back in business for my run today.
Up: My runs have been getting much better and are verging on enjoyable.  I've also been working on improving my speed, and am so close to getting my pace under 10 minutes, I can taste it!

Down: It's been about seven years in internet time since the new Facebook was released, and I still hate it.  There are so many posts from people I love that I never get to see, and while I used to get tons of hits and interaction on my blog from friends, now I get about 20-30 click throughs a day.
Up: I'm spending a lot less time on Facebook these days! 

What are your ups and downs this week?  I hope the ups are vastly outweighing the downs!

Off To A Good Start

I decided to begin this deployment as I mean to go on.  No... not crying alone in my car.  Not inhaling an entire carton of Pringles and a bag of Twizzlers in one sitting...  Maybe let's just not actually take Thursday into account at all.  But from Friday on, I was bound and determined to have a Good Weekend.

I kicked things off on Friday evening with a girls' night at a friend's house.  We ate tons of junk food, played corn hole in the dark (I still don't fully grasp that game), watched YouTube videos, and generally just helped take each others' minds off the fresh absence of our husbands.  I had intended to spend the night, but around 2 in the morning, I felt an overwhelming wave of homesickness and just wanted to be at my house.  Fortunately, I didn't have to call my mom to come pick me up--being 28 is SO much better than being six!

Saturday, I got the house in order, went for a four mile run, and made a sizeable dent in our DVR backlog.  Then, yesterday, I tried out Barsa, a tapas restaurant downtown, with a friend.  We've both been facing a lot of the same obstacles over this past year, so it's always nice to hang out and know that the other person just "gets it".  Also, the drinks and food were delicious!  I was thrilled to see "Pisco Disco" on the cocktail menu.  When I had my bachelorette weekend in New York many moons ago, we went to a swanky club where we ordered and subsequently fell in love with, Pisco Punch.  It's not a liquor I see on a menu often, but when I do I always try it out and bask in the fond memories.

I also uploaded a profile to a couple of babysitting sites, and have even booked a couple of jobs with a friend!  I'm really focused on trying to make some money over this deployment to put toward our Baby Buying Fund, and I like that with babysitting I can still retain some flexibility and make about the same hourly wage (if not more, which is pretty sad) than I would in many local office and childcare jobs.  Hopefully the jobs start trickling in soon.

This upcoming week is also pretty full, and I'm looking forward to brushing off the Alice in Wonderland costume for some Trick or Treating at the Outlets this afternoon!  Happy Halloween!!

Wamp Wamp Weekend

Well, I tried to go into someone's house yesterday to claim it as my own, but everyone has ADT signs outside.  I didn't feel like getting the police involved in my attempted imperialism.  Also, it rained all day and I didn't want to tromp mud into someone's house.

Anyway, this wasn't the worst weekend ever, but I'm not gonna lie, it was pretty pathetic.  Colby has been working his butt off to finish his Masters program, and this semester he's taking two pretty intense classes.  So, his weekend was spent with his nose in a book trying to work out complicated accounting problems in preparation for his midterm tomorrow.  I'd hoped we'd be able to have a little bit of fun around the city since this is our last weekend in Charleston before his deployment, but alas, studies come first.

I did manage to shoehorn a little bit of fun into my weekend spent mainly either in front of the tv or behind a book.  Friday night, I spent my evening surrounded by jewels at a Lia Sophia party.  I went in promising myself I wouldn't spend much, and ended up with a sparkly necklace and two pairs of earrings.  But really, I SAVED so much money!

Saturday, I went for an absolutely glorious four mile run in the neighborhood.  Charleston is currently in the midst of one of the two or three months out of the year where it is quite enjoyable to run outside, and I've been taking full advantage.  It was my first time back up to the four mile mark since we got back from our vacation, and I saw a definite improvement in my pace from the last time I ran it.  I'm still slow as molasses, but more like warm molasses as opposed to cold.

Sunday, I dragged Colby out for a date night at a new (to us) pizza place before he buried himself back in schoolwork.  Then Monday rolled around, rainy, grey and uneventful.  The lazy weekend caught up with me last night, and I was wide awake until about 3:30 in the morning.  Of course, I did nothing to stop the vicious cycle by staying in bed until (cough, mumble, cough) 11 o'clock (cough) this morning.  But tonight, I'm hitting up the melatonin early.  I may not be able to conquer entire inhabited continents through the use of flags and deadly disease, but sleep?  Sleep I WILL conquer!

Things That I've Learned

Dry clean or hand wash only is just a fancy way of saying toss it in the washing machine and hope for the best.  70.2% of the time, everything works out just fine.  The other 29.8%... well, you probably didn't like that shirt that much anyway.

The hardest part of any workout program is not starting it.  The hardest part is working out.

The most effective way to seem cool and self-confident as an adult is to talk about what an awkward dork you were in high school.  That is supremely annoying to those of us who truly were awkward dorks in high school.  No one thought it was cool then.

Dieticians and fitness magazines will tell you that many times your feeling of hunger can be satiated by drinking a large glass of water.  Your dehydration just tricks you into feeling hungry.  That's probably true, but I find the water to be most effective when washing down a slice of pizza.  Or when it is wine.

Running is not something I will ever enjoy for itself.  But the excuse to watch reruns of Millionaire Matchmaker and Real Housewives of Somesuchcity while I'm on the treadmill makes it almost endurable.  It's my penance for watching such crap television on a regular basis.

Dusting is the most pointless, sisyphean curse foisted upon humanity.  There is nothing so infuriating as spraying the Pledge, wiping the surface, and then watching as those fecking dust particles drift right back down to the exact location you just cleaned.

Like Comparing Apple and Pizzas

(Thanks so much to all of you that offered to guest post!  I'm so excited about the amazing bloggers I'll be sharing with you while I'm on vacation.  There's still room for a few more if anyone didn't get a chance to throw their name in the hat last week.  You're welcome to write about anything your little heart desires, and I just ask that you send me your post by August 10--let me know in the comments if you want to volunteer!)

Is it kind of sad that Colby has been gone so much over the past few months, that I've almost gotten used to him being away?  I feel like I entered deployment mode a long time ago, and the deployment doesn't even begin until October.  Ugh.  Anyway, I spent another weekend without my dearest darling, but it still managed to be an awesomesauce few days.

Friday, I went over to a friend's house for a lovely wine and pizza date, and it was so nice to sit and talk for a few hours.  We had talked about going out to eat somewhere, but I really think we both needed a night in to just hang out, chatting without worrying about whether a restaurant needed to turn a table.  Saturday, I fit in a good run--I finally broke below the 11 minute barrier and ran my 3 miles in about 10:45 per mile.  It's frustrating, because my legs feel like they could go all day, but my stupid lungs just struggle so much to keep up my oxygen supply.  But I'm getting better!  And I rewarded myself for all of the healthy eating and exercise I've been up to lately with a second day in a row of pizza with a friend.  You can never have enough pizza, right?  I also had a scrapbooking date last night to work on my (SO CLOSE TO BEING FINISHED) Ireland scrapbook that has been ten years in the making and watch The Bachelorette: Men Tell All episode.

Sunday, things went a little downhill when I realized that the optical drive in my creaky old Macbook had died.  I don't use cds or dvds in my computer very often, so I don't really now how long it's been broken--I do remember trying to play a music cd in there at the beginning of the year and it didn't work, but I thought it was because it was a burned cd and my old gal was just being finicky.  But a friend let me borrow their copy of the French Rosetta Stone to prepare for my upcoming trip, and after spending about 15 minutes inserting the cd, listening to it whir and click, then ejecting... over and over and over... because I thought maybe if I were just persisistent enough... I admitted defeat.

I think my inverter cable has also been going.  For the past year and a half or so, I've had an issue where the screen has to be in juuuuust the right position for the screen to light up.  Otherwise, it's black and I can just see the faint image of what is on the screen through the black.  I haven't felt like that's a big enough deal to justify getting a new computer since it works perfectly otherwise, but now with the optical drive going, I feel like we're getting closer to having to drop a wad of cash on a new one.  It is almost a four year old computer, so I'm lucky that she's been going as strong as she has for so long now.  For the time being, I ordered an external cd/dvd drive, and hopefully that will do the trick for the few times that I need to use a cd.

But being that I'm also anxiously, and not at all patiently, awaiting the release of the iPhone 5 so that I can upgrade my dinosaur first gen iPhone, I think Apple is going to really love me over the next few months.

Happy and Healthy

I don't even know where to begin talking about the last few days.  I've had Colby with me, I've gotten to cuddle a baby, we've gotten piles and piles of much needed rain... it has been so good.  A lot of my focus lately has been centered on the part of my life that isn't going the way I want.  Nine months ago, I thought that I would have a baby either in my arms right now, or soon to be arriving.  The past couple of months have been extremely difficult in that regard.  It's a challenge reconciling my expectations with reality.  That being said, all is NOT sadness in my life.  The moments of sadness are there, but overall, I am so lucky with the lot that I've been dealt.

I suppose in the wise words of Maria von Trapp, let's start at the very beginning, a very good place to start.  Friday, Colby got home from a week in New Mexico and Colorado where he'd had a fun hiking, camping, and fishing trip with one of his oldest friends.  That night, we met a friend at the incredible Ted's Butcherblock for one of their delicious $12 dinners and $5 wine tastings.  I seriously think these Friday night dinners are the best deal going in Charleston.  On Friday, we had delicious curried pork in a sort of falafel/meatball combination, served over eggplant, a pita and drizzled with tzaziki, with a bean salad on the side.  Dessert was a huge slab of carrot cake with a creme anglaise, and I could have eaten about ten more servings of it--it was just that good.

On Saturday, we went over to another friend's house so that we could meet her precious, perfect 1-week-old baby boy.  He is still at that limp noodle stage of infancy that terrifies me so much, because they just feel so BREAKABLE, but I managed to hold him without crushing him, and then died at the cuteness of Colby cuddling him as well.  It was admittedly a little bittersweet, but I am just so happy for my friend, and so excited to have a new baby in my life to watch grow over the years.  After baby time, we finally got around to seeing Bridesmaids, and we both got some much needed laughs.

Sunday was a relaxing chill day, just catching up on the DVR.  This week, Colby has been getting off work early, so we've been enjoying our evenings together.  Ever since the cleanse, I've been on quite a healthy eating kick (combined with a little Ben & Jerry's because I had to try Late Night Snack--CHOCOLATE COVERED POTATO CHIPS, people!), so we've been cooking up some tasty meals, I've been keeping up with my workouts, and I've discovered the most delicious way to incorporate fruits and vegetables into my daily routine--Green Monsters!  I just toss some flax seeds, a couple big handfulls of spinach, a banana, and some chocolate soy milk into a blender and liquify.  Then chop in some ice, and voila, chocolate banana smoothie.  It is SO GOOD, and I've been drinking one every day for my afternoon snack.

So, that's been my week, not all ups, but certainly not all downs either.  I'm working very hard to focus on all of the good in my life, and not take it for granted.  Unfortunately, Colby is leaving today for a work trip, but he'll be home in less than two weeks, and then we'll be heading off somewhere for almost three weeks of togetherness away from home.  Life is good.  I could complain, but today, I won't.

The Gory Details

Day 3... it was pretty tough to get out of bed this morning.  But it's hard to tell if that's related to the cleanse or not, because it's pretty tough to get out of bed EVERY morning.  But at least on a normal day I have a creamy cup of English breakfast tea and carbs luring me downstairs.  Apple juice just does not equate.

So, the cleanse deets.  I wish I could tell you the name of it, but I do not know.  I got the instructions from a friend who did it with her neighbor after she completed it and luuuuurved it.  Then another friend tried it and haaaaaated it.  So, I went into this with pretty realistic expectations about the potential benefits and the drawbacks.  Sometimes it feels much harder than I expected, sometimes it's easy.  It truly depends on the moment.

Here is the basic breakdown of what I'm taking in every day:

Breakfast:
1 1/4 C apple juice
1 glass room temperature water with lemon
1 cup of herbal, caffeine free tea
Suck on some slices of lemon
1 tsp honey 

Lunch:
Vegetable broth (2 lb bag of carrots, large onion, bag of celery, garlic, seasonings (I used a poultry blend of herbs), 8 cups of water.  Bring to a boil, simmer for a few hours until vegetables are softs, drain and smoosh liquid out of the veggies.)

Dinner:
1 1/4 C apple juice
1 cup of tea
1 tsp honey
Vegetable broth

Throughout the day:
Drink at least 12 cups of water or tea (combination), when I feel like I'm about to chew my arm off or feel super run down, I have another small spoonful of honey.

Every other day, you have to drink an epsom salt concoction to help flush all of the waste out of your body since you aren't taking in any fiber.  Holy shit.  That stuff is nasty.  It's not the least bit salty and tastes a bit like what I imagine a nice glass of gasoline would taste like.  BLEEEEEEEECH.

As you may remember from my 30B30 list, I was originally thinking about the Blueprint Cleanse.  It appealed to lazy me because everything is provided for you, it is dummyproof as all you have to do is drink the numbered bottles in the order indicated, and there are a variety of flavors to all of the juices.  The major drawback is that the three day cleanse would run me $255 including delivery.  In my opinion, that is an awful lot of money for three days of not eating.  

Furthermore, you don't know where the ingredients come from and they aren't labeled organic.  To me, if the point of doing a cleanse is to clean out your body, I want to know that my ingredients are as clean and high quality as possible.  I doubt that BPC doesn't use high quality ingredients, but preparing and selecting your own ingredients you know exactly what you are putting in your body.

I bought all of my ingredients at Whole Foods, all of my vegetables and lemons are organic, I got the Whole Foods brand Honeycrisp organic apple juice, my honey is locally produced in a field that is uncultivated and uses no fertilizers or pesticides (and is DELICIOUS), the only thing that isn't certified organic is my tea.  Because all of the organic herbal teas sounded disgusting, heh.  I forgot to keep the receipt to tally up the total cost, but looking at my online bank account, the receipt came to $90 and probably about $20 of that was groceries outside of the cleanse ingredients.  I'd probably need to restock on vegetables, and maybe another jar of apple juice, so maybe add on another $10.  So about $80 for a 6-7 day cleanse--quite a savings over BPC.

And how am I feeling?  Well, as I've been moaning to my Twitter followers, I am not loving this experience.  I'm still waiting for the spiritual, zen, reflective part to set in--mostly I just feel like going to sleep.  Maybe that is when I'm supposed to be meditating or something?  However, I have yet to feel faint or dizzy, and other than the first day, no headaches.

I worked out again yesterday--I managed to do 30 minutes of a Jackie Warner DVD and I felt fine after--definitely a bit more tired and I wasn't always able to do the full minute of each move.  Tonight I'm going to a self-defense class, so I think I'll bring some honey to have a spoonful before and after.

Bottom line, unless I have some amazing breakthrough today, I think Wednesday will be the last day of the cleanse.  That will have been four full days, which I feel is perfectly adequate for cleaning out my system.  Beyond that, I worry about muscle breakdown and truly entering starvation mode.  To ease back into the eating world, I'll subsist on salads on Thursday, then Greek yogurt and soup on Friday.  By Saturday, hopefully I'll be back to normal, which will be perfect since Colby will be getting home from a conference then.

I do feel that this has changed how I look at eating--when you feel like you're absolutely "starving" you really aren't, I promise.  But I'll talk more about that when I'm able to reflect back on this from the other side, back amongst the land of the eaters.  For now, I'm going to go drink my apple juice and pretend it's a perfectly adequate breakfast.  Yum!

The Last Supper

When I created my 30 Before 30 list (oh my gosh, almost A YEAR AGO!), my goal was to choose activities that I've either always wanted to do but hadn't gotten around to, or activities that would push me outside of my comfort zone and I probably wouldn't go out of my way to do otherwise.  One of the goals that definitely fell into the latter category was to do a detox cleanse.

As much as the idea of not eating for days on end is the stuff of nightmares, there were a couple of reasons that it appealed to me.  I am a boredom eater.  I would say at least 25-30% of the food that I eat, I don't put in my mouth because I'm hungry or even eating socially, but because I'm sitting around watching tv and mechanically shoveling snacks into my mouth.  I'm also something of a compulsive eater, if that's the right word for it.  If there is something tempting in the house, I'll eat it.  And not one slice or serving, but as much as my stomach can handle.  Hence the house rule of no Cheetos, Oreos, or candy in the house.  Because if it's there, I will eat it.  All.  Within minutes.

So, my hope for the cleanse is that as well as cleaning out my system, I will be teaching myself willpower.  That I can sit in a house full of food and not eat it--even when I'm hungry.  To know the difference between true hunger, boredom hunger, and binge hunger.

On Friday, Colby and I went for dinner at my favorite Mt. Pleasant restaurant, 17 North, and I relished a delicious glass of Writers Block pinot noir, an enormous meal of deviled eggs, a bacon cheeseburger, and a delicious caramel brownie with vanilla ice cream. Saturday I started easing myself in with Greek yogurt for breakfast and soup and bread for lunch and dinner.  Then Sunday was my first day of the cleanse, and I must admit, it was tough.  I still had plenty of energy in the morning, and was able to get in a 3 mile run, no problem.  But what I didn't think about was how many calories I was going to burn early on that I wouldn't be replenishing throughout the day.  So, I hit a major slump around 4 o'clock, and there was nothing for it but to crash on the couch for a few hours.

I'll talk in more detail about exactly what this cleanse entails in my next blog, but what I do like about it is that I'm constantly putting liquids in my stomach and hopefully training myself to be better hydrated throughout the day.  So while I do feel hungry throughout the day, after the "meals" I do have a sense of feeling full.

I want to be very clear--this is NOT a diet.  I'm sure that I will lose water weight, and I weigh myself regularly, so I'll be able to share whether I do lose anything, but I know that as soon as I start eating again, that weight is going to come back.  But I do hope that after cleaning out my system over the next few days, I'll be able to go back into eating with a healthier, stronger mindset.  Am I going to cut out pizza and brownies entirely?  No.  But I want to incorporate more fruits and vegetables, drink more liquids (that aren't fermented or carbonated), and eat only when I'm hungry.

I'm not sure how long I'll do the cleanse.  I'm listening closely to my body and I think I'll know when I hit my limit.  By the end of today, I'll probably be able to set an end date.  Initially I was going to cleanse through Saturday, but I've gotten to the point where I really enjoy my workouts and I don't want to give them up for a week and lose all of the muscle that I've gained.  Yesterday, I was ready to throw in the towel after one day, but this morning I woke up feeling fresh and rejuvenated, so I'll take it a day at a time and try to make it at least four or five days.

And probably nap.  A lot.

An Extroverted Weekend

Based on my weekend, you'd never know what a massive introvert I am--well, except for the fact that I had to spend Sunday in my Fortress of Solitude to recover from all of the socialness.

I began the weekend by meeting up with a friend at a fabulous butcher shop/restaurant downtown, Ted's Butcherblock.  In the first place, I find it absolutely charming that there are still dedicated butchers plying their meaty trade in this day and age.  Ted's offers a vast array of meats, cheeses, gourmet raviolis, and a wide variety of spreads, wines and appetizery delights.  On top of their butchery, they have a sizeable menu of sandwiches, soups, and salads, and every Friday night, they serve a delicious dinner and dessert for $12.  

On Friday, we were treated to a mouth-watering Lemon Garlic pork loin served over an eggplant tapenade and goat cheese couscous, all sprinkled with delicious fresh peas.  For dessert, there was a massive lemon bar--we're talking about 4-5" square--topped with a mango chili granita.  I wasn't sophisticated enough to appreciate the spicy/sweet combination, so I scraped off the granita, but the lemon bar was phenomenal.  They were also having a $5 wine tasting with proceeds supporting charity, so we got to taste four delicious French wines and I found a new favorite: Château de Ségriès Cotes du Rhone.  We wrapped up the evening taking in a stunning performance by the Shen Wei Dance Arts who is in Charleston as a part of the world-famous Spoleto arts festival.

Saturday, I rolled out of bed and headed to a local county park to beat my all-consuming fear of heights into submission at the rock climbing wall.  There was a portable climbing wall that was about 30 feet high and the 50 foot permanent wall with a wide variety of routes at various skill levels.  I started out on the 50 foot wall, and made it a little less than halfway up the first time, before the sweats, nausea and dizziness set in and I had to rappel down.  So, we headed over to the portable wall so I could get a little more comfortable with less height.  I somehow made it to the top of that wall before closing my eyes, dropping downward and landing on the ground in a quivering pile of jelly.  Then it was back over to the 50 foot wall where I made it about 3/4 of the way up before I just couldn't bring myself to go any higher.  We're planning to go back next week to give it another go, and I really want to get to the top of that dang wall.

I wrapped up the day with a first birthday party for an adorable little buddy of mine, and then went to a going-away party for a couple who we first knew in Washington, and is now leaving us for greener pastures in the Northeast.  We've had to say goodbye to so many people over the past couple of months, it's hard to believe that we've already been here for a year and a half, and may only have another year and a half left to go.

Sunday, I settled firmly into my little groove on the couch and became thoroughly obsessed with HBOs Game of Thrones.  I also fit in a run and did a little cleaning because COLBY IS COMING HOME TODAY!!!!  And I always like him to think that I keep the house spotless in his absence so that he is pressured to put his socks in the laundry bin.

Run Fast For Your Children, All Your Sisters and Your Brothers

Ugh.  Running.

Yesterday, I got a text from my sister, who has been working her way through C25K, asking me if she would ever like running.  She was worried because she looks forward to running and loves how she feels after, but she hates how she feels while she's running.

I had to take a beat to think about how to respond.  I mean, I don't want to be the one to discourage a burgeoning runner, and one who is much more naturally suited to running than I am.  Surely it is possible that some day she will wake up, and suddenly realize that she wants to run across the country a la Forrest Gump.  But I?  I hate running.  I hate running before, during and after.  There is no part of running that I enjoy.

So why on earth do I keep returning to it year after year?  Sure, it is a great cardio workout and one of the best ways to keep my thunder thighs under some semblance of control.  But I could also just go for a long walk and probably reap the same benefits.  So honestly, I don't have an answer.  Maybe I just like the torture?  That I do see slight improvements from run to run and I have become addicted to the need to run faster, run longer.

After I ran the 10K at the beginning of April, I took a couple of weeks off from running.  There was absolutely no cell in my body that had any desire or urge to get back out there and pound the pavement. So, when I finally tied on my running shoes, it was rough going.  There were about 20 other reasons my first few runs out sucked, namely the change from 60 degrees to 80 degrees and a million percent humidity.

But I pushed through, and I've been focusing a little more on getting faster than endurance.  I still want to be able to run 3 or 4 miles, but eventually I'd like to be able to do it at a 10 minute mile pace than a 12.  Over the past few weeks, I've gotten my mile down to between 11:00 and 11:30 depending on how long I'm running.  But last night, I decided I'd go all out for my first mile and shocked myself by running it at 9:30.  I haven't seen those numbers on my watch since college--and even then it was a one off when I was at field training and running ALL THE TIME.

Of course, after that first mile, I took it down to my normal 11-11:30 pace for the next three, but wow, I felt so great about myself for what I've accomplished with my running this year.  I'll surely never be winning any races or entering the Olympic trials, but every time I improve I feel like I've won.  And I guess that's why I keep running.  Not because it feels good physically, or because I enjoy it in any way, but because when it comes right down to it, I love the feeling of overcoming something that has always seemed so impossible.

I Curse You Jeggings!

Oh dear.  A dreadful thing happened this weekend.

First, a bit of background.  Last summer, Lands End Canvas was selling a delightful pair of shorts with cheery white sailboats on a field of orange or navy blue.  Being that I'm a fun-loving gal, I decided to live on the wild side and go with the orange shorts.  Sadly, when they arrived, they were a size too large and had already sold out in the size smaller.  Loving the orange, but knowing I probably wouldn't get around to having them altered any time soon, I went ahead and ordered a blue pair in the smaller size, and happily wore them the rest of the summer.

Then winter came, and with its cooler temperatures, my torrid love affair with jeggings began.  I always swore that leggings and jeans were the most heinous combination imaginable.  But then I discovered a style at Old Navy that came complete with a button and zip fly, and a fabric bordering much more closely on denim territory than 1980s workout video spandex.  And so, I bought a pair in every color, and spent the wintry months ensconced in their stretchy embrace.

The season passed, and suddenly with little to no warning, the lowcountry was thrust unceremoniously into the grips of a steamy summer.  The heat is a welcome respite to this Southern girl, but with those balmy 80-90 degree days, I had to bid a heartwrenching farewell to my much beloved jegging and boot uniform of the winter.

This past weekend brought with it the perfect opportunity to break out my dapper little blue sailboat-bedecked shorts, as we were off to a Greek Fest, and I felt that my small salute to their national colors and boating influenced culture would be much appreciated.  So I dug through my drawer, slipped the shorts up above my knees, squeezed them past my thighs, and then... that's when it happened.  My very own Battle of One Very Specific Bulge.  Still, I persevered, and managed to shoehorn myself into the shorts and fasten the button.

I looked in the mirror, heady with the victory over winter and spring's many culinary delights, and was horrified not to find a slim 20-something winking back at me from that pane of torments, but instead my head and torso atop two sailboat encased sausages.

"But HOW can this BE!!!!" I cried, as I gnashed my teeth, rended my garments, and clawed at the button to release myself from this nautical prison.  Had I not worn the very same jeggings all the season long?  How could physics so fail me that I could go from feeling like a svelte Anthropologie model ready for a day of cultural experiences, to a mockery of a Cathy comic?  And that's when I realized how jeggings have taken their power and wielded it in the most dastardly of manners.  Using their 99% spandex 1% cotton composition to lure one into a false sense of body image security, then leaving us to our own devices once the less forgiving fabrics of our wardrobe come back to haunt us in the midst of the most skin-baring season of the year.

And so, I furiously jammed my little blue sailboats back into the drawer, and with great mortification, retrieved the orange pair from the bottom of the alterations bag, where they had patiently waited all year for me to come crawling back, greeting me with the distinct whiff of smug triumph as they slid easily over my own personal Ardennes.

I managed to drown my sorrows in a delicious gyro swimming in feta and tzaziki as well as a decadent baklava sundae, but today I'm turning over a new leaf... again.  I've retrieved my discarded Dukan diet book from it's hiding place where I cast it off while riding the high of a successful first week and careened into a week of dinners out and Goldfish crackers.  I'm determined to fit back into those damned shorts if it's the last thing I do--before returning to the seductive lure of the jeggings come Fall. Until then, I always did think orange might just be my color.

Losing the Baby Weight

Since December, I have been on a 12 day cruise with access to unlimited food, enjoyed the holidays and the accompanying holiday desserts and dinners, supported my niece by buying and inhaling five boxes of Girl Scout cookies, and made a massive dent in my ever-growing lists of Charleston restaurants to try.  Unfortunately, this has also led to a rather sizeable dent in my bathroom scale.

The thing is, every month I think about maybe cutting back a little on the desserts, or easing off on the snacks and dinners out, but then I think, "Hey, maybe I'll be pregnant in a couple of weeks, and then I won't care about a little extra fluff!  I'm doing it for the BAYBEEEE!"  But then I never actually AM pregnant, and I drink copious amounts of wine and gorge on chocolate to make myself feel better, and voila, another pound creeps onto my already plenty generous bottom.

Sooooo, I am on a mission to lose the baby weight... before I even have a baby.  But I figure, if I'm not going to be knocked up, I'm going to rediscover the banging beach body lurking beneath the blubber.

If you follow me on Twitter, you'll already know that I've been fixated on how Kate Middleton has gone from beautiful, healthy-weight Kate, to much slimmer Kate at the time of her engagement announcement, to gaunt well-dressed popsicle-stick-on-legs Kate that she is now with her wedding just days away.  Well, thanks to Good Morning America and their verging on stalker-obsessive royal wedding coverage, I discovered her secret: The Dukan Diet.

Evidently, this diet has been pretty big in Europe for some years now, but Dr. Dukan resisted publishing about the diet in the United States as he was overwhelmed by the American audience.  Evidently, we are a lost cause.  But thanks to the Middleton weight loss mystery, Dukan has been dragged out of his relative North American obscurity, and is likely well on his way to being the Next Big Thing in dieting.

I've been a South Beach diet girl for years, and it works, it really does.  But to me, the downfall is the amount of vegetables you have to eat.  Oh my God, so many vegetables.  And I don't LIKE vegetables.  Salads are okay up to a point, but when I'm eating two of them per day as well as at least three more vegetable servings and a glass of V8, the sight of lettuce makes me break out in hives.

So, I'm still waiting for my Dukan Diet book to arrive, but what I've been able to piece together from websites is that it is a four phase diet:  

1) Attack (1-10 days of all protein and oat bran)

2) Cruise (Maintain until you achieve your goal weight, protein-only days and protein-vegetable days)

3) Consolidation (Lasts 5 days for every pound lost, adapt body to your new weight by upping your caloric intake and allowing whole-grain bread, cheese, potatoes and rice in moderation)

4) Definitive Stabilization (Eat what you want all week except for one day in which you return to protein only)

Now, before anyone freaks out at me, if I do by some miracle end up pregnant in the next couple of months, I will be MORE THAN HAPPY to ditch the diet.  I'm not stupid enough to deprive a growing baby of the necessary nutrients that come from the fruits and vegetables that this diet restricts.  And I'm going to Disney World in a few weeks when I'll ostensibly be in the Cruise Phase, and I'm just not going to give up my daily ice cream in front of Cinderella's Castle.  So, I'll probably come home from my trip and go back to the Attack phase for a couple of days.

I won't do weekly weigh-ins on the blog for this one because... they're boring.  But I'll check in from time to time as I go through the phases and talk a little more about the science and theory behind the diet as I learn more from reading, as well as how it's working for me.

So, here we go!  I should tape a picture of Kate Middleton's engagement picture to my bathroom mirror.  That would be either really motivating or really creepy, I'm not entirely sure which.

Cooper River Bridge: I Got Over It!

What an amazing weekend.

Colby and I woke up early in the morning on Saturday, and made our way to the starting point of the 10K.  It was pretty chilly before the sun came up, probably in the 40s, and we hung onto our jackets until the last possible moment before dropping them off at the sweat shuttle.  We wandered around the corrals for about an hour, taking in the crazy costumes (Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, some dudes in Baywatch bathing suits, a portly Batman and Robin, just to name a small sampling!), ogling the anorexic-looking elite runners, and attempting to keep our muscles warm.

About a quarter to eight, we headed to our respective corrals, and waited for the waves to start rolling toward the starting line.  This was the first year of wave starts for the race, and it went off beautifully.  Each corral started about 3 minutes apart, and as each group started to run, all the others would walk forward.  I'd signed up for Corral K since I knew I would be walking for some of the run, but I ended up in Corral J for the start as we filled in during the 30 minutes of walking forward.  Since I passed a number of walkers during my run from corrals E through J, I now know that I can sign up for a higher corral next year so I won't be stuck with all of the strollers in Corral K.

Each corral got it's own starting music, and my group took off running to the sounds of the William Tell Overture.  Up to the time I started running, I was still cold, but once I was moving, the weather was absolutely perfect.  The adrenaline definitely kicked in, much to my surprise, and I even found myself getting the teensiest bit verklempt as I thought about the goal that I was achieving and how far I had come in just a couple of months.

Mile one flew by in what felt like a matter of seconds, and mile two was equally smooth sailing.  Then we hit the bridge, and the dreaded incline.  I broke for my first couple of minutes of walking about halfway up the bridge, then pushed on, taking in the beautiful views, pausing my iPod to listen to the bands playing along the route, and focusing on maintaining a steady pace.

Before I knew it, I was over the bridge and running down King street in Charleston, smelling the aromas wafting from the amazing restaurants and surrounded by a wall of people cheering us on.  The adrenaline kicked back in, and I was amazed at how many people I was passing as we made our way toward Marion Square.  Then I saw it: Mile 6.  Only 2/10 of a mile left to go!  I pumped up my music took a deep breath and picked up the pace with the finish line in sight.  I stopped my watch as I crossed under the Finish sign, checked my time and nearly fainted from shock.

Historical Reenactment:

1 hour and 13 minutes.

Two minutes faster than my goal time, which I'd set as a sort of impossible dream, just to keep myself motivated.  An eleven minute and 45 second mile--certainly not setting any land speed records, but for me?  To average anything under a 12 minute mile for more than six miles and a 4% incline over one of those miles?  Incredible.

I am so glad that I pushed my fears and insecurities aside, and signed up for this race.  It was hard work, but it was one of the most enjoyable experiences of my life.  I am officially hooked on the 10K, though I can say with a fair amount of certainty that I won't be training for a half marathon any time soon!  I wasn't the fastest person there, or the strongest, or the best, but I was there.  And I finished what I started.  And it was an amazing feeling.

The Night Before

My right ankle is killing me and I feel like I'm gonna throw up.  That can only mean one thing.

Tomorrow morning I'll be running the bridge!

I've got my clothes laid out.

 A rocking new playlist courtesy of your awesome suggestions and an iTunes giftcard.

And it looks like the weather is going to play nice.

Now, all I have to do is wake up on time, run 10 kilometers and if I'm really lucky, keep my breakfast down!  Our prerace dinner was salmon, brown rice and potato salad.  I'm carb-loaded to the gills, and capping off the night with a piece of chocolate cake and yet ANOTHER glass of water.  Just in case this is my last meal...  

Thank you all so much for all of your encouragement.  Assuming I am both still alive and not in traction, I'll be back next week with the results.  Have a super duper weekend!

It's the Final Countdown

After weeks of absolutely perfect, gorgeous weather in Charleston, the cold and rain has returned just in time for the week of my 10K.  As of right now, the forecast is for chilly weather and rainstorms all week, clearing up to sunny with a high of 72 on Saturday.  I am hoping and praying that the weatherman is right for once, because the only thing that sounds more miserable than running a 10K is running a 10K in the rain.

Anyway, I'm beginning my final training week, tapering down my runs and not pushing my body quite so hard in preparation for the big day.  I'm heading to the grocery store to pick up more healthy proteins like fish and Greek yogurt, veggies for salads, and am focusing on not filling my body with empty carbohydrates.  I know I need to continue eating carbs, but Flavor Blast Goldfish--though delicious--are probably not the best fuel for my body.

My question to any runners out there is what do you recommend that I eat for breakfast on the day of the race?  I'll probably wake up to eat around five, and the run starts at 8.  My plan for this week is eggs or Raisin Bran cereal with a banana, but I don't want to eat that much that early and want to limit my fiber intake before running.  I was thinking maybe a cup of Greek yogurt when I wake up and then a banana around 7:30?

I also want to overhaul my iPod playlist the day before the race so that I've got new tunes blasting the day of the big run.  I'm getting sick of some of the songs on my current list, and want to mix it up a little bit.  Here's my current running playlist:
Some of the tunes on the chopping block: Teach Me How to Dougie and Love Lockdown.  And as you can see, I like pretty much everything from poppy pop like Glee to Britney to rap and country.  

What's your go to song that gets your blood pumping and makes the time fly by?

19685.0394 Feet

(ETA: I'm such a nerd, but I just can't let this stand--I accidentally converted 6 kilometers into feet for my post title instead of 10.  It should read 32808.399 feet.  Sigh.)

Last year, when I was working out my 30 Before 30 list, one of the items that I included was running a 10K.  The goal of my list was to push myself outside of my comfort zone, and since the longest I'd ever run was four miles, signing up for a 10K seemed like a reasonable enough challenge.

So, a couple of months ago, I decided to take the plunge and sign up for the Cooper River Bridge Run.  It's a pretty big deal in the local area, with the city shutting down the main bridge into Charleston and 30,000 to 40,000 of your closest friends tying on their running shoes and dashing down the highway into the city.  The biggest challenge of the run is that not only are you running a smidge over six miles, but one of those miles is at a 4% incline.  So, that's fun.

Of course, when I first decided that this was my year for the 10K, it had been about 7 or 8 months since the last time my running shoes and I had spent any quality time together.  My first run out, I was gasping and aching, and metaphorically kicking my overly enthusiastic 30B30 creating self in the butt after approximately 3 minutes.  I was not literally kicking myself in the butt, because I lacked the energy and will to raise my foot that high.

Now that I've got about eight weeks of "training" behind me, I'm feeling a little better about my chances of not dying halfway across the bridge, but still not quite where I wanted to be at this point.  I've run six miles twice in the past couple of weeks, and Colby and I went to run the bridge on the past two weekends, so I'm not feeling entirely unprepared, just undertrained.  I've gotten to the point where I can run for about 30 minutes straight, then alternate walking 2-3 minutes and running 10.  Past the one hour mark, I walk 2 and run 5.  And yes, it definitely takes me over an hour to run six miles.

Today, I am venturing out for a seven mile run.  It's my last long run before the race--next week I'll do a five mile run early in the week, then on Saturday, I'm off to the races.  Even though I've survived six miles twice, seven is just really psyching me out big time.  I've been putting this run off since last week, and am not thrilled about the fact that now I'll have to do it in 80 degree weather.  Yay!

So, please, take a minute and think of me today as I wend my way through the wilds of our neighborhood on burning, shaking legs.  My parched tongue and weakened limbs will be grateful for your well-wishes, and if I do not return from my hero's journey, please take heart in the knowledge that I always loved you best.

Where Do I Begin?

Hiiiii!!!  I'm back!!!  What?  You didn't notice I was gone?  Well, hmph.

*****

We whisked ourselves away for a week in Louisiana, driving from one end of the state to the other, visiting both of our parents, various friends, and even squeezing in a wedding.  I'll do a more thorough recap soon, but I just had to write a crap post to get myself back in the habit of blogging.

*****

I've been training (somewhat half-heartedly) for a 10K, working diligently on my 30 Before 30 list, and trying to decide if I want to start doing work in exchange for money on a part time basis.  Running is so boring.

*****

I hate the day after returning home from a vacation.  Piles of laundry are overtaking my front room.  I have a million errands to run and can't do any of them because I have a flat tire.  I've got loads of blogs to catch up on.  My DVR is overwhelming me with options.  I can't even count as high as the scary number on my Google Reader.  So, I think I'm just going to go sit on the porch and stare blankly at birds.

*****

I don't even have any pictures downloaded off of our cameras to attempt making this just moderately engagaging.  Close your eyes, imagine me feeding a giraffe.  Isn't that CHARMING!!!

MilSpouse Friday Fill-In #28

1) If you were a famous movie star, what types of movies would you star in?
Historical dramas, no doubt.  From the moment I fell madly in love with Gone with the Wind to my weakness for BBC costume dramas, I have dreamed of playing a beautifully dressed woman of days gone by in a film with an astronomical costume budget.  Of course, with my luck, I'd probably end up cast as the hard-luck guttersnipe dressed in dirty rags. 

2) What is a vacation you would like to take if money were no object?
This is tough, because there are so many places I want to go.  Just one of my many dreams is Paris.  I would take a first class flight direct from the East coast to Charles De Gualle airport, where I would be met by the driver of a fancy limousine who would spend the next weeks driving me everywhere I want to go.  I would spent the next week in a Frenzy of Parisian delights, then set off for a 2-3 week tour of France stopping at Giverny, Normandy, the Loire Valley, the Champagne region, and the French Riveira.  And of course staying in nothing but the finest establishments--The Ritz in Paris and a swanky castle in the Loire--and eating the creme de la creme of French culinary delights!

Um.  I'm ready to go now.

3) Did you have pets growing up?

Tinkerbelle "Belle" Kriger
July 1994 - November 2010 

4) What do you do for exercise?
Run slowly.  I really like Jillian Michaels and Insanity for building up my manly muscles. 

5) What is the best piece of advice you’ve ever received as a MilSpouse?
Whatever you do, always make sure there is a bottle of wine standing by.

I'm Losing It: Week 3

via

Starting Weight: 130.8

Current Weight: 127.6

Total Weight Lost: 3.2 lbs

Well, it was only a .6 pound loss this week, but considering how much food I've been eating, I'll take it! I was sure the scale was going to be moving in the other direction, so I'm pretty happy with this outcome.

It was Charleston Restaurant week, plus the 2nd birthday of one of my favorite little guys, so I ended up eating out all but one day of the week with plenty of dessert to boot.  I guess my body is just contrary like that.  Have a great week of eating well and exercising, don't lose a speck of weight.  Gorge myself on goodies and experience a (admittedly small) drop on the scale.

I don't expect the next week to be quite so successful.  One of my best friends is coming to Charleston for the week, and a big part of the Charleston experience is EATING, so I doubt I'll even be able to count as high as the calories are going to go each day.  But I'm entering the "recovery week" of Insanity, so I'm still going to try to work out before we start each day.

We'll see.

For now, I'll be reveling in the fact that I can fit in my size 26 Hudson jeans again.  Can we all just agree to ignore that little muffin top I'm rocking?

I'm Losing It: Week 2

Hey, these numbers look awfully familiar...

Starting Weight: 130.8

Current Weight: 128.2

Total Weight Lost: 2.6 lbs

And the really frustrating part is that this week I was actually remarkably well behaved and TRYING to shed some poundage.  Whereas those 2.6 pounds I lost last week were due to... nothing.  I blame the chocolate croissant I ate yesterday.  Worth.  It.

Oh well, I'm not giving up, just have to remember it's a process and despite the fact that I didn't see a decrease on the scale, I do feel better about myself when I'm eating better and exercising.

I'll be totally honest, I'm just too lazy to do South Beach when Colby isn't around to eat the food and help me with the cooking and cleaning.  It's a great diet if you've got the motivation or love for cooking, but I have neither.  I don't want to spend three hours a day chopping, stirring, cooking, and cleaning for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

So, instead I'm going old school and calorie counting.  Obviously based on this week alone, not a terribly effective method, but I'm willing to see if it pans out with more time.  It's sort of a bastardized Weight Watchers and I have a bunch of friends who've had great success with that, so we'll see!

I used the Mifflin-St. Jeor calorie calculator as it's been identified as one of the most accurate calorie equations by the American Dietetic Association.  According to that formula, my calorie intake for weight-loss should be about 1560 per day.  I've been writing down everything I eat (an amazing way to realize just how much random crap you put in your body without even realizing it) and trying to stay around the 1400-1450 zone since aside from doing Insanity, I'm admittedly pretty sedentary.

So, we'll see what this next week brings.  I have plans to be out just about every night, so it's going to be a struggle to stay the course and hopefully a little indulgence here and there won't hurt too much.  But it's Charleston Restaurant Week, and the Triple Chocolate mousse at Social is calling my name!