Twin FAQs

One of the aspects of having twins that we weren't expecting is how very curious people are about them.  I can totally understand it of course, I've been fascinated by twins since I was a little kid (I actually used to tell people that when I grew up, I was going to have twin girls.  So.), in no small part due to The Bobbsey Twins and the Sweet Valley series.  So, I honestly don't find all of the questions, comments and stares we get offensive or annoying, but Colby and I do joke that we've had to start building "gawking time" into our schedule when we go out.

There are a few questions that I get over and over again.  So, I thought I'd spend a little time here on the old blog answering them.

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Are they twins?  Are they identical?  Do twins run in your family? Are they natural?

This is pretty much the litany we get when a stranger approaches us.  So, the most basic response: yes, they're twins, no they're not identical, no twins don't run in our families, yes they're natural, but not spontaneous.  As regular readers know, we conceived Charlotte and Annabelle in our first round of IVF, so our pregnancy was achieved through artificial insemination.  But I can assure you, our babies are all natural.  No pesticides or fertilizers here!  And while twins don't run in our families, there is another set of fraternal twins a couple of years older than the girls in my family.  I can't wait for them to meet some day!

How do you tell them apart?  Which one is which?
As the girls have gotten older, and grown out of that squishy, generic newborn stage, we don't get asked quiiiite as often how we tell them apart, but there are still the odd remarks about getting them mixed up.  The more frequent question now is just which one is Charlotte and which one is Annabelle.  The easiest way to tell them apart is face shape and hair.  I call it the Bert and Ernie Rule.  In the picture above, Charlotte is on the left.  Her head and face is rounder (Ernie), and she has longer/more hair.  Annabelle has a longer, thinner face (Bert), and is proof that bald is beautiful.  Of course there are a million other differences that I can see because I spend almost every waking minute with them (different eyes, skin tone, toes, body shape, mouths, ears, etc), but I think those are the most readily apparent differences.

Do you feed them at the same time?

When they were brand new, and feeding almost hourly, I always fed them simultaneously.  I'd use the football hold on a Twin My Brest Friend pillow (stupidest name ever).  It was perfect, because otherwise, I would never have done anything but feed babies non-stop.  Starting when they were about two months old, I began feeding them one at a time in the more standard cradle hold.  Feeding simultaneously went quicker, but it was fairly uncomfortable, and I didn't have that lovely feeling of cuddling my precious baby.  I felt like a cow.  I still feed them at the same time in the middle of the night though, as long as Colby is around to help, because I love my girls, but sleep is takes priority over cuddles at 3 am.

Are they on the same schedule?

I try to keep their schedules as close as possible.  I always change both of their diapers at the same time (unless there's an emergency poop situation), feed at the same time (well, one after the other), and put them down for naps and bed at the same time.  I think since we started from the very beginning with syncing up their schedules, now they just naturally fall into similar rhythms.  There are certainly times where one is less tired than the other, or more hungry, so I have to adapt, but overall, yes, I would say they're on the same schedule.  The few times when one sleeps longer than the other makes for nice one-on-one time for me and whichever girlie is awake.

Do they sleep in the same crib?

Nope.  In their first couple of weeks of existence, we had them in the same crib.  Then we discovered that Charlotte would sleep much better in the Rock n' Play, so we set that up right next to Annabelle's crib and  that's where she's been for naps and night time ever since.  In the past week, I've been working on transitioning her to a crib, and while I initially tried putting them together, they've gotten too big and mobile for it.  Annabelle, in particular, tends to flop around like a fish on dry land, so, inevitably, as soon as Charlotte would drift off, Annabelle would kick her in the head or swat her face, and we'd have meltdown central.  So, they share a room, but I guess we're just skipping the crib bonding time.

I also get a ton of questions about cloth diapering, but I'm working on a separate post specifically addressing my love for the fluffy bums!  I know there are lots of other twin mamas out there, did I cover the basics?  Any other burning twin questions?  Feel free to ask, there's not much I like more than talking about my babies!

Comments

[Danielle C]

You forgot, "who was born first?", and my all time favorite (hear that sarcasm?) "which is the better baby?". Love this post!

[Katie]

As a twin I get a lot of "which one of you is older" (similar to Danielle's comment), uh, we were both conceived at the same time so, you know... And believe it or not we still get: can you feel each other's pain? And "how does it feel to be a twin"? I can appreciate the curiosity, but please please pllllllease don't let people constantly refer to them as the girls or the twins, I swear some people never learned my name, just called the sis and I "The Girls", kinda depressing! I love reading about C&A, and the pics! And, am eagerly awaiting your cloth diaper post...got the newborn gpants this week but am holding off on ordering the infant stash :)

[Danielle C]

Katie, I too am a twin and my response to the "what's it like to be a twin?" question... "What's it like to not be a twin?".

[Caro]

I loved your blurb about the Bert and Ernie Rule - I could always tell them apart by the shape of their head/face, but I thought that might be weird to say out loud, haha.

[katelin]

i seriously love their onesies, so so cute! & i used to joke that i'd have twins one day too and probably because i always wanted to be one, ha.

[Kate P]

Those shirts are hilarious! (Wow, some of those questions you said in your post seem pretty pointed for coming from strangers.)

[Brittany]

I love this. I know those are typical slightly annoying but people are so curious about them! My Great Great Aunts were twins named Nita and Rita who no joke married two brothers, Ned and Red Mustard. They lived next door to each other their whole life! But during that time period, twins were really rare (morbidity was so high). So people would come from miles around to see them including Williams Jennings Bryant who was like this famous politician and a 3 time presidential nominee. And this is probably overkill on info. I just always thought it is neat to know that twins have always elicited such curiosity.

[A Super Girl]

Shockingly, I'm really curious in the cloth diapering thing. I don't know anyone who does it, but it intrigues me. I'm generally lazy though, so I'm afraid I don't have the stuff to stick with it (you know, when I have kids...in 10 years).

[erin - heart in ireland]

their faces in the buy one get one free picture are so cute :)