Where shall I begin? Well, life is certainly very different now from the last time I checked in. We're getting a much better handle on how this whole parenthood thing works, though as I've learned, it's a constantly evolving process.
I'll be honest, the first month was... not great. That's a big part of the reason for the radio silence around these parts. After writing for almost two years about how much we wanted to start a family, I didn't know how to talk about the fact that I was not coping well with the reality of actually having babies. Everyone talks about how hard babies are, and I never doubted them, but there's truly nothing that can prepare you for those feelings of inadequacy, overwhelming fear of doing something wrong, and the exhaustion. OH THE EXHAUSTION. I confess, I had more than a few moments of wondering if we'd made a huge mistake.
Thank goodness my mom was here to help--making me rest and eat, cooking us dinner every night, taking shifts with crying babies. As hard as things were, it would have been infinitely harder on our own. Then, once we got through that first month, things got a little bit easier, but a horde of family descended upon us, then it was the busy holiday season, and then everyone headed back to their mouseholes, and Colby and I were left alone to figure out how to take care of two little ones on our own.
Charlotte, 4 days old
Annabelle, 1 week old
The good news is that we've managed to keep them alive--and I think happy--for ten weeks now. And as each day goes by, it gets a bit easier. They've been sleeping long stretches at night, and just getting more than three or four hours of sleep at a time makes a huge difference. On Friday night, they actually slept for nine hours straight. The odds of just one baby doing that at two months old are pretty slim--but both babies?? It felt like an actual miracle. I don't think I'd gotten that much sleep in one go since the first trimester sleep fest.
Two months old. Can you tell who's who??
I have a great deal to write about--since my last post I've visited three countries, celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary, survived the Mayan apocalypse and turned 30--2012 definitely went out with a bang! One of my New Year's resolutions was to get back to blogging on a more regular basis, and if it means taking time away from a Homeland marathon, then so be it. This little corner of the internet has seen me through my single years in the Air Force, my engagement and wedding, three moves, two puppies, a struggle with infertility, and pregnancy--I have no intention of letting it fizzle out now that there are babies to talk about! But for now, I'm going to get back to Downton Abbey. Who knows how much time I have left with two babies sleeping and a hot cup of tea? We'll chat again soon!
I have to say, I'm never more grateful for Juliet's time in the NICU than I am when I read posts about how hard the first two months with a newborn are. We're in for it with the next one, for sure!
I'm glad you've survived! And glad to hear you'll be back to blogging on a more regular basis! I've missed you! (and missed living vicariously through your travels!)
Posted by: Miriam | January 15, 2013 at 02:27 PM
Aww yay! Glad to have you back to blogging...I've missed your updates! The girls are beyond adorable. I can't believe it's been 10 weeks already! Happy to hear things are going much better for you both. Thank goodness for moms! God love 'em.
Posted by: Casey | January 15, 2013 at 02:34 PM
Welcome back! We'll see you again in another two months. The girls are gorgeous!
Posted by: Lynndaue | January 15, 2013 at 03:04 PM
It would be cheating for me to answer the question as to who is who -- but do I win the prize? They would fit in a really small box;)
Posted by: The Incubator | January 15, 2013 at 04:08 PM
Annabelle on the left, and Charlotte on the right? I hope I got that right! I'm glad you are back to blogging. And glad to hear you are feeling better! They are so precious!
Posted by: Jass | January 15, 2013 at 05:00 PM
I'm probably wrong but..... Charlotte on the left and Annabelle on the right?
So glad you're back! I've been wondering how you were doing. I can't even imagine how hard it is...I've only ever had one at a time and that was (is)hard enough! You're doing great! Just know that you're definitely no the only one who has had those thoughts.
And...... Happy 30th, December buddy!!!! I too celebrated my 30th on the 26th :) I think 30s will be awesome.
Posted by: Solange | January 15, 2013 at 05:10 PM
Congratulations from an old blogging friend (Cattywampus Life Steph). I haven't visited you in awhile and I am so happy to hear about your new babies. They are precious! Hang in there with the motherhood thing...it's one wild ride!
Posted by: Steph. | January 15, 2013 at 11:44 PM
Charlotte on left, Annabelle on right??!?!
SO happy to hear from you! Love this post! And the babies are BEAUTIFUL! So glad they are still alive & happy! :) And yay for 9 hours of sleep!!
Posted by: Melissa | January 16, 2013 at 04:59 AM
Welcome back. The girls are absolutely beautiful! :)
Posted by: Karen | January 16, 2013 at 02:16 PM
I agree. No amount of warning can prepare you for the emotionally and physically exhausting first months with a baby (or babies.). I'm glad to hear you are surviving it. Less frequent blogging is certainly understandable. I just wrote in my journal, and it was the first entry since last January! I'm hoping for a 9 hour sleep miracle to happen one day for our family. It's good to hear that it can happen ;)
Posted by: Melissa Berhel | January 16, 2013 at 04:02 PM
1. So glad you're back!
2. That third photo is hilarious! I'm guessing the one on the right is Charlotte? I'm really bad at this game.
3. Isn't Homeland the best?!?!
Posted by: A Super Girl | January 16, 2013 at 06:44 PM
Glad to see you back :) I've heard babies can turn your world upside down, and 2 at once is crazy, so glad your Mom was there for you! (helps that they are stinkin' adorable too!?!?)
No guesses....my sis and I are twins and I can't even tell us apart in kid photos, I'm missing that "recognition" gene ;)
Posted by: Katie | January 16, 2013 at 10:57 PM
They are too cute! And so lucky to be loved by so much family. It's good to "hear" from you again--and totally understandable why you need to be away!
Posted by: Kate P | January 21, 2013 at 04:29 AM
I just discovered your blog and loved your posts! Just wanted to stop by and say that your girls are absolutely gorgeous! Enjoy this wonderful time and God bless!
Posted by: Gail | January 22, 2013 at 04:26 AM
aw welcome back, that picture of the two of them is just precious, i love it! and so happy 2012 went out with a big ole bang, sounds fabulous. & i know you and colby are just wonderful parents, so keep it up! :)
also downton & homeland are two of my favorite shows right now. just so good!!
Posted by: katelin | January 23, 2013 at 02:20 AM
I saw a photo of a mother breastfeeding her two children. The children in the photo were of different ages and she had the older one on her left and the younger on her right.
In your case, you'll have to do double everything all the time and have had to do so from the word go.
I don't think all the warnings of things people share can properly prepare you for any new experience. It's just like starting a new job. You have to take on all the responsibilities you thought of and also new responsibilities you never thought of. However you have all the joy associated with it.
Posted by: Michael@brookstone | January 27, 2013 at 07:48 PM
just checking in on you and your beautiful girls!! xo
Posted by: elle sees | January 28, 2013 at 03:55 AM