Tomorrow Is Another Day...

Major Steps Forward

It's been all Air Force all the time around here, as our move draws closer.

We're down to 46 days before we drive to Baltimore, then catch our flight to Germany the next day.  Now, if we were footloose and fancyfree non-pet owners, we'd just fly up to Baltimore and after a layover, hop on the overseas flight.  However, the planes that fly from Charleston to Baltimore are too small to send dogs in the cargo hold.  So.  Enter complications.

After a great deal of head scratching, price comparisons, and not a little whining (on my part), we've come up with the following plan.

Early May 14th: Load the car and make the 10 hour drive up to Baltimore, check into a hotel around 7 pm.

Early May 15th: Split up after breakfast.  I'll take the shuttle to the airport and pick up a rental car that will fit all of our crap, including aforementioned animules.  Colby will take his car to the port to have it shipped to Germany where it won't arrive for another 6 weeks or so.  I'll take the rental back to the hotel, do another round of loading, then head to the port to pick Colby up, and back to the airport where I'll drop him at the curb with all of our stuff, bring the rental back, then God willing and the creek don't rise, check in to the AMC terminal with plenty of time to spare before our last possible check-in time.

First order of business when we arrive in Germany will be to buy something fuel-efficient that Colby will use to drive to work and we can share until his car arrives by boat.

The joy of this all, is that the Air Force would have covered our flight from Charleston to Baltimore, but the best we're going to get out of them in this scenario is if they MAYBE cover our rental car.  Seriously, after having dogs I don't see how kids won't be an absolute breeze.

So, it'll be a hassle, but at least the plan has been made and solidified and it's not hanging over our heads anymore.  Next order of business is getting the dogs vaccinated and micro-chipped, and I have an appointment to get that ball rolling in a couple of weeks.

The other big excitement lately is that the Air Force major promotion list came out yesterday, and Colby made the grade!  We weren't really too worried about whether he'd be selected or not, but major is the first rank where a promotion board meets to review the candidates and more than just a pulse is required from the eligible ladies and gentlemen.  Colby and all of the other captains who commissioned in 2003 submitted their Promotion Recommendation Forms at the end of 2011, and we've just been waiting around these past few months to hear the results.

I'm so proud of him that he was one of the 90% selected from the pool of applicants, and eventually there is a nice pay raise that will come with this promotion.  Unfortunately, due to the way Congress budgets for military salaries, we won't reap the benefits until mid-2013.  Each officer who is selected for promotion is given a line number based on their date of commissioning, and that line number dictates the order in which they are allowed to "pin on" their new rank and begin receiving their pay increase.

It's all very confusing and much more labrynthine than it probably needs to be, but alas, tis the way of the military.  Now it will probably be another 6 years or so before we have to run another promotion gauntlet, so Colby will be able to just sit back and relax with his oak leaves for a little while!

The crazy thing is, I can remember sitting in my ROTC classroom in college, watching while our Commandant of Cadets taped cardboard bronze oak leaves onto the shoulders of our instructors who had just found out they made Major, and I just thought they were SO OLD.  So.  I guess that makes us old now.  Rank and forehead wrinkles don't lie.

Don't Go Toward The Light!

These past few days, I have seen beyond The Veil... and it is not a point to which I would like to return any time soon.  I'm not sure what voodoo priest I pissed off, but I have some seriously bad juju in the common cold department this year.  I've always have a pretty sucky immune system, but we're not even four months into 2012, and I've already had two colds that have knocked me COMPLETELY flat.  To the point which I'm calling them colds, only because I don't know what other kind of fresh new hell this could possibly be.

At the new year, it was a fever, a lost voice, a searingly sore throat and a cough that I couldn't shake for three weeks.  For the past few days, it's been a fever that won't budge, congestion the likes of which should have by all laws of physics exploded my facial bones, and a gross, mucusy cough that punctuates my every sentence.

And yet, I continue to work amongst the most unhygeinic purveyors of communicable disease that can be found in human existence--children.

Then, Mucinex D entered my life and what at first seemed like a miracle drug, sent from Heaven to clear my sinuses and relieve my aching lungs, in reality turned out to be a bad trip from an over the counter pharmacy drug deal.  This was my first experience with the stuff, and while I won't hesitate to verify their claims of Mucinex In, Mucus Out, I can also guarantee you that I won't be entering that valley of nightmares again any time soon.

So, today I find myself back amongst the land of the living, clutching what is left of my once robust Kleenex stash tightly to my breast while once more facing the onslaught of germs that confront me at every corner.  It is with great trepidation and a barking cough that I enter this arena, but I do it in the name of baked goods.  I do it in the name of atrophying muscles.  I do it in the name of sanity.  Because as much as I love my prone couch time, I just cannot take one more episode of Switched at Birth or Twin Peaks right now.
 

New York City Redux

Let's go back in time to a month called February.  A month filled with family, fun and travel.  A month that just barely existed according to the evidence displayed on this blog.
My mom arrived on February 5th, and spent a little time with us before she and I boarded a teeny tiny airplane and jetted up to the Big Apple to visit my sister.  All three of us stayed at a very nice Hilton in the Fashion District, which was sort of a miracle in of itself in that there was room for both us and our stuff to coexist in relative harmony.  Being that it had been such a mild winter, we had big plans for our touristy adventures, but the day we arrived temperatures plummeted, the wind picked up, and we spent most of our stay trying to dash from one indoor location to another.

Since both my mom and I had been to New York so many times, we spent a lot of time relaxing in our hotel room, coffee shops, and restaurants.  Most of our stay was spent deciding on where we would eat our next meal.  We experienced a hummus restaurant, Lebanese food, Italian, a pretty decent New York pizza (yes, even in NYC it's hard to find good New York pizza), a vegetarian fine dining establishment, and my favorite, brunch at Alice's Teacup.

Being that it was so cold, I kept my hands in my pockets at almost all times, and therefore have a dearth of photos of our trip.  On the more touristy side, we visited the Tenement Museumwhich I would very highly recommend.  They have a number of different tours, both of the inside of an old tenement that has been partially remodeled to represent life at the turn of the century for various immigrant groups, and of the area around the Orchard Street tenement which was essentially immigrant central for many years.  We also made a very quick stop at the Guggenheim--quick because the majority of the museum was closed for renovation.  And we attempted to visit the Freedom Tower, but being that it was a blustery, frigid day after 30 minutes of walking around outside trying to figure out the ticketing system, we bailed.  It was impressive to see how much the site has changed since the last time I visited in 2006 when it was still just a massive hole in the ground.
But hands down, the most incredible experience we had was our last night in the city at the absolutely amazing Off Broadway cult hit, Sleep No More.  The premise of the play is that you are checking into the McKittrick Hotel, a luxury hotel built in the late 1930s, but which closed suddenly and mysteriously before it ever opened, two days before the start of WWII.  The hotel has been reopened, and you are invited in to explore the premises.  In reality, an immersive theater company has purchased some warehouses in Chelsea and converted various floors into the different areas that you explore during your two or three hour "show".  It's very confusing to try to understand without having experienced it yourself, but at no point are you sitting down in an audience watching actors perform on a stage.  Instead, you are given a mask and left alone to explore an old hotel, a graveyard, a sanitorium, and a small town where the actors (identified by the fact that they aren't in masks) run in and out and perform short scenes almost entirely without speaking.  I cannot even put into words how enthralling my hours in the McKittrick Hotel were.  Even after putting together everything that I saw with what my sister saw and what my mother saw, there are still mysteries that we can't solve, and I would give anything to be able to go back.  If you get the chance to see this show, DO IT.  It is creepy and mysterious and wonderful!

30 Before 30 Check-In #3

Oh.  This thing.  30 Before 30.  Remember that?  I can't blame you if you don't, seeing as my last check-in was almost a year ago.

I have been slowly making my way through the list, but I have to be honest, my priorities have shifted significantly since I first compiled it in 2010.  Back then I had no idea how much money and effort it would take for us just to get knocked up.  No clue that I would be dealing with an exciting, but stressful, move to Germany.  Zero intention of going back to work of any sort.  Some of the things that seemed really important or fascinating to 27-year-old Angela, just don't seem as compelling to 29-year-old Angela.  And some things I've just had to accept aren't going to happen in the craziness of the next eight months.

That said, here's the latest update!

2)  Climb to the top of the Eiffel tower, eat macarons at the Laduree on Rue Royale, stroll through the Louvre, see the water lilies at Giverny. In short—go to France. (Complete)
One of my most favorite things to check off of my list, our trip to France was everything I dreamed it would be.  The Eiffel Tower was magical, the macarons melted in my mouth, the Louvre was exhausting and majestic, and the water lilies were a dream.

3)  Travel to at least five new countries. (Complete)
I was actually a bit of an overachiever and added six countries to my passport (well, no, not really since no one ever actually stamps my passport in the proper countries).  December 2010 Mediterranean cruise brought me to Greece, Malta and Spain.  And an August 2011 sojourn back to Europe led us through France, Germany and Austria.

8) Read Atlas Shrugged and The Fountainhead. (Complete)

13) Geaux to an LSU football game. (Complete)
LSU vs. Tennessee in Knoxville.  We were so excited to get the chance to see our Tigers play in a season when we made it all the way to the BCS Championship.  Let's just not talk about anything that happened beyond that... 

15) Organize all of our digital photos in scrapbooks or albums. (In Progress)
Still in progress, but I've gotten through a couple of more.  Unfortunately, time keeps passing and I feel like every time I get one done I have two more added to my list!

16) Learn how to sew and make a piece of clothing that I’m proud to wear in public. (In Progress)
I did learn how to sew.  That was the easy part.  Now I just have to make time to attempt sewing a garment.  I really need to just get a Simplicity pattern and go to work on it, but so far I've been a master proscrastinator about it.

18) Read the entire Bible, cover to cover, without skipping the boring bits. (In Progress)
I'm reading a chronological study bible, and it's actually very interesting.  I'm approaching it from the standpoint of learning ancient history more than any sort of praise or worship, and it's amazing how much I've already learned just from Genesis! 

19) Go to the Guggenheim. (Complete)
Very, very sadly, a huge chunk of the Guggenheim was closed when I went in February, but I did get to see lots of gorgeous art and gaze up at the spiraling ramps that make the building so iconic. 

21) Get a second piercing on my ears. (Complete)
I did this in NYC with my mom and sister for emotional support, and I'm so in love with my new bits of sparkle.  It's not terribly rebellious, but it's just enough to make me feel sassy without doing anything remotely risky. 

22) Finish 75% of the books in the top 100 of the Greatest Books List that I haven’t already read. (In Progress)
I kind of hate this item.  I found myself slipping back into my college mindset of "maybe I'll just read a magazine" more and more often.  There are a few left on the list that I actually want to read (Frankenstein, On the Road, and The Sun Also Rises) but I'm not sure I'll finish 75%.

23) Go to a Starbucks drive through and pay for the order for the car behind me. (Complete)
I did this last month, and it felt great!  I spent the whole time I was in line scoping out the car behind me and creating a backstory for the driver.  She looked like a young woman, maybe just a few years older than me and she was driving a big SUV.  So I decided she was a frazzled soccer mom who had just dropped her kids off at school and was running late for an appointment, but in desperate need of a hot cup of coffee, when suddenly she realized she had left her wallet at home.  Probably not entirely true, but I handed an extra five bucks over to the barista at the window and told him the drink for the person next in line was on me, and any extra was a tip.  I hope it made her day a little shinier! 

26) Do a cleanse, maybe this one? (Complete)
I survived a cleanse last summer and documented it here and here.

And here are the items I've accepted simply won't happen before December 20, 2012 and have crossed off the list:

11) Place a bet in Sin City.
Honestly?  I just have no desire to go to Las Vegas.  It seemed like a fun idea at the time, but there are so many other places I'd rather visit instead.

20) Walk across the Brooklyn Bridge.
The last few times I've gone to visit my sister in NYC, this has been on the list, and EVERY time we have been foiled.  The first time, we did a walking tour of Brooklyn and planned to walk back across to Manhattan, but we ran out of time in the day.  Another time, we were going to walk across it to get to dinner, but decided on a super swanky night out and didn't relish the idea of doing it in heels.  Then, when I went last month, I really, really wanted to brave the elements, but it was just too cold and blustery, even when we were protected by skyscrapers.  I'm super sad about this one, but some day!

25) Attempt surfing. Not the net—the waves!
This I really do still want to do some day, but I don't see how I'll get it in before I leave Charleston, and Germany doesn't seem to be a big surf town.  Though there was that surfing wave at the English Garden in Munich...

 

Ups and Downs

Down: I'm running on energy fumes after babysitting for six out of the last seven days.  I was substitute nannying for a friend, working for one of my regular families, and picked up some hours for a sitting service resulting in 40 hours of work--full time for one week!  The amount of time wasn't so bad, but the hours were pretty brutal.  I had to wake up at 4 am for three of those days, and 5 am on another leaving me pretty much wiped out all week.
Up: I made some good money, and really did have fun with the little ones.  At the sitting service job, I worked in the baby room and spent hours and hours just cuddling and cooing over teensy tiny little humans.  Oh, how I want one!!

Down: We've been spending so much money lately, I'm starting to feel like our savings account is hemorrhaging.  Between our fertility meds, the IVF cycle, a new mattress and finally replacing my 4 1/2 year old Macbook that had been on its last leg for about a year, our credit card can't catch a break.
Up: We are insanely lucky that my parents were kind enough to offer us a loan for our fertility treatments so we were able to pay off our credit cards and avoid going through a creditor that would charge us outrageous interest on a loan.  Plus it's amazing to have a working computer (oh my goodness, I can't believe how lightning fast and spectacular a Macbook Pro is!), our Tempurpedic is making sleeping my favorite new hobby, and hopefully some of those thousands will help bring about a precious bundle of joy in about 8 months!

Down: We never heard anything back on the original offer on the house, so we're assuming the financing just didn't work out for the buyer.
Up: We have another showing today, and my house is under specific orders to sparkle and shine in an effort to seduce the prospective buyers.  The original offer was a totally crap lowball anyway, so hopefully everything will work out for the best.

Down: Colby left on Sunday for six weeks of training in a simulator for the aircraft that he'll be flying in Germany.  I already miss him dreadfully and it was even harder saying goodbye this time than it was for the deployment.  It's been a very emotionally and physically draining couple of months, and I was really relying on him to help get me through the days.  I'm not looking forward to the weeks ahead on my own.
Up: We'll earn a nice chunk of cash in per diem which will really help us toward fattening up that savings account again.  And fortunately, this go round he'll still be in the States which means good cell phone reception and a strong internet signal for Skyping.  And, with his next assignment being a non-deployment gig, it will hopefully be our last long separation for a long time. 

What about you?  Hopefully your ups have been outweighing your downs lately!

The Other Stuff

So, despite the evidence shown by my blog posts lately, I have had a lot going on in my life outside of Operation Frankenbaby.

Our house went on the market just over a week ago and we've already had a showing, an offer, and the financing fall through on the offer.  It was all terribly exciting, and then the weather turned to crap.  I'm hoping that March brings a lot more warm, beautiful, sunny spring days and that all of these people allegedly flocking to the Charleston 'burbs decide to take a twirl through our house.  And then decide to pay us lots of money for it.

I've also been working quite a bit, which is helpful being that we just paid off the credit card that included the payment for Operation Frankenbaby.  Still mainly my regulars, but this week I'm "substitute nannying" for a friend who is on a mission trip.  So, I've got a super precocious four-year-old this week for 3 days starting between 5:45 and 6:45 depending on the morning.  Yesterday, I had her from 6:45 to 4:30 and we managed to squeeze in a trip to Barnes & Noble, the county park to play at the playground, and Chick Fil A for lunch followed by ridiculous amounts of time in the Playplace.  By the time we got home at 2:00, I was utterly wiped and she agreed to some quiet time in her room with a DVD.  I'm pretty sure she was asleep the minute her head hit the pillow.  Anyway, the days are long, but she's fun and I'm looking forward to having her for another couple of weeks in April.

Also yesterday, a representative from the moving company came out and took a look at our house so they'd know how much time to allow for packing and loading.  Despite the fact that Army Wives last weekend made it look like military wives are solely responsible for packing their entire house, I completely embrace the moving company approach.  We've got a few things packed away and labeled in case they end up in storage, but I fully intend to spend a couple of days chilling on the sofa while people around me pack my shit.

Colby is leaving this Sunday for six weeks of training for his new aircraft, and if we're lucky and things go according to plan, that will be our last long separation until we leave Germany.  Of course, the Air Force is always trying to pull a fast one on us, so we'll see how that goes.  But during that time, I'm just planning to soak up every last bit of Charleston that I can and spend lots of time with friends and family.  When he gets home, the movers come pack up our lives and a few days later we'll be flying from Baltimore to Germany!

Only 68 days left stateside.  Wow.

 

 

Seven Bad Eggs

I wish more than anything that I was reporting in today with better news.

We had our egg retrieval on Wednesday, and everything seemed great.  I woke up from the anaesthesia (I'm always a little anxious about that part), and went to recovery where we learned that the doctor had retrieved ten eggs.  Not a stellar number, but certainly something that seemed workable.

We got home and enjoyed some quiet time out on our porch while my fabulous cleaning lady made my house sparkle.  Once she was gone, I popped some Percocet and crashed on the couch.  I woke from my coma a couple of times for a little television viewing and to eat, but I mostly slept the day away.

When I woke up on Thursday, I was waiting anxiously for the fertility report from our embryologist.  Of course, he called right before I walked out the door to go to work to drop the bomb on me.

Out of our ten eggs, only six were mature.  Out of those six, only three fertilized.  He reminded me, perhaps a little too emphatically that quality is more important than quantity, and while we most likely won't be able to freeze any embryos for future efforts, it only takes one good embryo for this round.  So, we'll be doing the transfer on Saturday at noon.  Assuming there are any good embryos left to transfer.

I feel absolutely sick to my stomach.  I had to go to work at two different jobs--one with the baby I've been taking care of since he was 2 weeks old and his big sister, and the other for a little boy whose mom just had a baby girl last night.  I held the baby as he fell alseep and tried not to cry.  I oohed and aahed over photos of the new baby girl born just after midnight and tried not to cry.  I sat on the sofa while the 2 year old napped and tried not to cry.  I spent the entire day trying not to cry, and once I got home and was free to break down, I couldn't.

Not to introduce a political debate, just to clarify my mindset, I've never been one to believe that life begins at conception--or fertilization in this instance.  However, I think attempting to create a baby this way certainly makes me much more protective and attached to those little embryos in the petrie dish.  We've been trying to get pregnant for a year and a half and in all of that time, I have no idea how many eggs have fertilized and just failed to implant.  But knowing that we have three potential babies in a lab and there's nothing I can do to help them along breaks my heart.

I'm trying not to give up hope, but I'm also trying to prepare myself for the worst.  The awful part is that we won't know for another two weeks if the transfer even worked.  I don't know how I'm not going to go crazy.  On top of that, all of the HCG coursing through my system is already giving me faux pregnancy symptoms, and I'm bloated and crampy from the egg retrieval, just adding insult to injury.  Or injury to insult.

Hopefully I'll be back with better news next week, but whichever way it goes, I want to thank you all so much for your support through all of this nuttiness.  I can't tell you how comforting it is to know how many people I have in my corner, wishing for good things for us, and I just hope that all of that positive thinking is enough to bring about a positve outcome.