Marathon Woman

I've been keeping a secret from you.  Not intentionally.  And not very well.  But it appears that in attempting to keep up with all of my various forms of social media, one eensy weensy little thing fell through the cracks on this old blog of mine.

Remember after I ran that 10K in April, and I was all, that was great, but believe you me, I will NEVER run a half marathon?

Well, I'm training for a half marathon.  Have been since October.

I'll wait while you all peel your jaws off of the floor.

Honestly, I didn't think I had it in me.  In fact, I wasn't even all that interested in having it in me (that's what she said).  But then a funny thing happened.  I went through month after month of people telling me all of the things that my body can't do.  Or does improperly.  My ovaries are geriatric.  I'm growing a polyp farm on my uterine lining.  I'm seemingly incapable of making a baby the way billions of women have since the beginning of time.

It made me sad.  It made me angry.  It made me determined.  I wanted to prove to myself that my body is capable of anything I tell it to do.  When faced with one failure, I searched my mind for the most improbable feat I could possibly conquer.  I came up with running a marathon.  Then I had a good long laugh and started researching half marathons.

I found one in its second year in Charleston, taking place in mid-January.  The timing couldn't have been more perfect.  I could kill many hours (many, many hours) during Colby's deployment.  I could keep my body burning tons of calories around the most gluttonous time of year.  And it wouldn't interfere at all with our spring time baby making plans.

I searched around online for a training program that I felt fit me best and settled on Hal Higdon's Novice 2 schedule.  It's meant for people who are not new to running but are new to half marathons.  Then I bought a new pair of shoes, started taking a daily dose of glucosamine chondroitin for my achy joints.  Then I started running.

So far, I've gotten up to 8 miles.  In a row.  All at once.  And you know?  It's not as bad as I thought it would be.  At this point, I can't say that I'm going to be a regular half-marathoner.  My body wasn't built for running--every minute, every mile is a slog to the finish.  I find myself semi-enjoying myself right up until about five miles, then I start having illicit thoughts about my sofa.  BUT.  At the end of each long run, I feel an incredible rush of accomplishment.  Realizing that I set a goal, and I achieved it.  That I can set another goal and achieve it.  That it's just one foot in front of the other, until I reach the end.

It's actually kind of poetic how it echoes our infertility journey.  It all started with denial and fear, and now we're tying on our metaphorical running shoes and putting one foot in front of the other.  You can't run 13 miles without running the first mile.  And every mile-marker you pass puts you closer to the finish line.

As of today, I have less than a month until race day.  I'm excited, and terrified, and filled with self-doubt, but my goal is just to finish.  If I have to walk, crawl, or swipe some roller skates, I will cross that finish line.

I wish all finish lines could be so definite.  It would be such a relief to know what the future holds, and how much longer we have to keep running.  But I know our finish line is just up ahead, and with a little endurance, a lot of strength and a positive attitude, we'll get there.  And then the finish line will be just the beginning.

Comments

[To the Nth]

Go you! When the miles -- both literal and metaphorical -- seem long and your sofa is calling seductively, imagine the cheers of your bloggy friends ringing in your ears. We're pulling for you!

[Abby]

Yay for you! I've always intended to run a half, but the closest I came was getting around the 7 mile mark in my training and then I sort of stopped. Best of luck with training & the half! :)

[erin - heart in ireland]

woooooo! i was training to run that too before i broke myself! i ran my first in september 2010 and while it was tough towards the end i was so happy to have done it! - http://andherheartitisinireland.blogspot.com/2010/09/chestertown-half-marathon.html

i used a similar training plan. running 3-5 miles two/three times a week and then each week added a mile and ran 10 as my max, but i was bad and only really trained for 5 weeks.

i'm excited to hear about the rest of your journey!

and i can't wait until i can run again - i'm hoping i can run/walk the bridge run!

[Melissa]

That is awesome, Angela! I love it. :)

[SarahV]

So proud of you! Keep up the good work!

[Kate P]

Groove on those endorphins--go, girl!

[Janine]

Go you! This sounds awesome - can't wait to hear about it!

[erin]

YAY! Awesome awesome. Hey, have you ever read anything Louise Hay write's about the body? She has some interesting thoughts regarding how emotions/the past can effect the current state of our bodies. I got really sick before, and while i don't think everything she said was 100% on target, most of it seemed pretty close. I think the name of the book was "You can heal yourself" IDK lol. It's been a while since I read it, but if you're interested, I'll go home and find the correct name. Glad to hear you're doing something so exciting! Keep us updated!