When we last left off in this saga, I had seen a reproductive endocrinologist (RE) for an HSG to make sure all was well with my internal lady plumbing, and he informed us that while my tubes were all clear, there seemed to be something covering about 40% of my uterus--probably polyps or fibroids that will need to be removed. He also had trouble locating as many follicles as he had hoped to find in my ovaries during an internal ultrasound, so he wanted to do a little bit more testing.
I had bloodwork for my FSH and AMH (both hormones that can help determine the quality and quantity of your ovarian reserve--eggs still present in your body and waiting to be released), and while my FSH came back on the high end of normal (you want a low number), my AMH was pretty deplorable, basically confirming what the doctor had suspected after the ultrasound. I've got old lady ovaries.
The typical, healthy woman of my age would have 10-20 follicles at that point in each of her cycles--at my age, I should be closer to twenty. I had eight. And chances are good that the quality of my eggs aren't stellar, meaning that when the winning egg is released every cycle, it's just the frontrunner at the Special Egg Olympics.
Colby also had some retesting done and his analysis came back with the exact same motility and morphology as the first test (poor) and an even lower count. So, basically, we are both defunct, and it is a surprise to exactly no one that we still haven't gotten pregnant after 14 cycles of trying to conceive.
We were desperately hoping that intrauterine insemination (IUI) would be an option for us because it is a fairly non-invasive procedure, not to mention boatloads cheaper than invitro. However, our doctor was very clear with us that we just aren't good candidates for IUI. Due to the process they use to retrieve the sperm and prepare it for insemination, they usually lose about half, and with Colby's low concentration and even lower count of good quality sperm, combined with my geriatric ovaries, the doctor doesn't feel that it would be effective.
So. IVF. With ICSI.
We're still mulling over our financial options, but it's going to be terribly expensive just for the procedure, and then another $2000-5000 for medications. I've been reading message boards and blogs about women who have gone through this, and while I'm learning a lot, it's also scaring the crap out of me. It's painful. It's emotionally draining. It puts strains on marriages. And most terrifying of all, it doesn't always work.
I'm trying very hard to stay positive about this. With any luck, come March or April, we'll be starting down a new road that will hopefully lead us to our baby, but I just wish I could know for sure that this was going to work out, that it will all be worth it in the end.
I guess we're infertile. Damn.
I'm so sorry Angela. This sounds terrible frustrating, and I can't even begin to imagine how scary this is. I'll keep you guys in my thoughts and prayers. Here is lots of baby positive vibes your way! Hugs!!!!
Posted by: Jass | November 02, 2011 at 03:31 PM
I'm so sorry you're going through this, but I'm at least glad you have some answers and a plan. All my fingers and toes are crossed for you guys.
Posted by: operation pink herring | November 02, 2011 at 03:58 PM
I'm so sorry that you guys are having to deal with this. I know from your past posts how hard this is on you and I hate when any of my friends has to deal with any sort of infertility.
I really hope that you guys will be able to make the financial situation work and go through with the IVF. I'd love nothing more than to hear next year that it was successful and you guys are pregnant.
I'll be sending good thoughts your way!
Posted by: Melissa | November 02, 2011 at 04:31 PM
I know this is not at all funny, but the title of this post made me smile and I'm glad you have such a positive outlook. I don't even have any words of wisdom, other than I will send you happy thoughts and prayers that it's a (relatively) easy road for you guys.
Posted by: Kristina | November 02, 2011 at 04:42 PM
So sorry to hear about this, but you guys should keep your heads up! If your medical options don't pan out, maybe you're just meant to be parents to a child out there in need of someone to care for them. I know that however parenthood comes to you guys, you will be AMAZING parents. :)
Posted by: Kay Bee | November 02, 2011 at 05:29 PM
I am just so sorry. And I'm just really mad for you at how unfair this is. You are going to be an excellent mom, and I hate that it's taking so much more to get you there. That's not cool, universe. NOT COOL. Still, I am applauding you at moving forward and looking at your options. You are handling this with such grace. I hope your future baby reads all this and sees how awesome his parents are and how badly he/she was wanted. Let me know what I can do.
Posted by: Brittany | November 02, 2011 at 05:44 PM
Good GOD, the acronyms!!!
In all seriousness, this does totally blow. For me, it'd be the financial implications of everything combined with the fact that there's just no guarantee. I feel for you and the decision you guys have to make.
Posted by: A Super Girl | November 02, 2011 at 05:52 PM
I'm so sorry. This is a very un-funny topic but the post title made me laugh a bit. I don't know anything about all those acronyms and procedures but I do know that however you become a mom you'll be a great one. Keep us updated and your spirits high!
Posted by: Solange | November 02, 2011 at 06:18 PM
Damn is right! This just plain ol' stinks! I'm sorry you're going through such a hard thing. I can't do anything to help, I know... but I will send positive thoughts to you both.
My cousin had ovarian cancer at age 13 and was told there was 100% chance she would never have a child.... she did. I know you might be sick of hearing these stories, but its just a reminder that who knows what will happen. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you.
Posted by: erin | November 02, 2011 at 06:24 PM
Thanks, Jass!! All the positive thoughts and prayers are MORE than welcome :)
Posted by: Angela Noelle | November 02, 2011 at 06:28 PM
Yes, we are grateful that at least now we know what is going on, and can move forward... eventually! I can't imagine how frustrating it would be to have no answers.
Posted by: Angela Noelle | November 02, 2011 at 06:29 PM
Yes, someway, somehow we are determined to make the financial side of things work. It's scary, and we'll lose most of our nest egg, but I can't help but think it will be worth it in the end!
Posted by: Angela Noelle | November 02, 2011 at 06:30 PM
Haha, hey, I find my humor in this where I can--I'm glad it made you smile ;)
Posted by: Angela Noelle | November 02, 2011 at 06:31 PM
Aw, thanks :) I wish I had a crystal ball!
Posted by: Angela Noelle | November 02, 2011 at 06:31 PM
Thank you so much! I think that's part of the reason I want to document all of this. Because some day this will hopefully be a record of how much we loved our babies before they were even born!
Posted by: Angela Noelle | November 02, 2011 at 06:32 PM
Bahaha! I know! I'm thankful that the military made me comfortable with acronyms--it has helped in the learning process to know how to communicate in letters instead of words ;)
Posted by: Angela Noelle | November 02, 2011 at 06:33 PM
Haha! Gotta be able to laugh, right?! I've learned WAY more than I ever wanted to know about reproduction--I think someone should give me an M.D.!
Posted by: Angela Noelle | November 02, 2011 at 06:34 PM
Wow!!! No way, I never get tired of hearing that stuff. It just gives me so much hope and makes me so thankful for the prognosis that we do have. Thanks!
Posted by: Angela Noelle | November 02, 2011 at 06:34 PM
Gos this sucks. I'm so sorry. On the bright side, I guess it's good that you know what you now know and can come at it from the best possible angle! Thinking good thoughts for you!
Posted by: Miriam | November 02, 2011 at 07:08 PM
I'm so sorry that you're going through this - but I think the glimmer of hope is that they've been able to determine what's holding you back and what can work for you in the future. I'm keeping you in my thoughts!
Posted by: Abby | November 02, 2011 at 08:14 PM
I'm so sorry to hear this Angela. It's just not fair, dang it all. But if anyone can get through this I know you can. I love your attitude and determination, even if it's through tears sometimes. I know it's taking longer than you wanted, but you will get there! I love that you're documenting this journey for your future kiddos. And it will all be worth it in the end, I can promise you that.
Posted by: Sarah | November 02, 2011 at 09:07 PM
Ugh- I'm so sorry about triple/quadruple/whatever it is whammy. Infertility blows!
Posted by: Hotpotatokate | November 02, 2011 at 09:25 PM
I'm so, so sorry you're going through this Angela. But I must say, the thought of your ovaries wearing dentures and using a walker is pretty darn funny :-) I'm glad you're trying to keep a sense of humor about all this.
Thinking of you and sending many many happy thoughts to your ovaries and Colby's sperm...wait, that sounds weird doesn't it. ;-)
Posted by: Stevie | November 02, 2011 at 10:31 PM
Oh man, Angela, I hate this for you guys! It sucks to feel so betrayed by your body. I am keeping everything I've got crossed for you two, that after these hard decisions, and sacrifices, you two will have the baby of your dreams.
And on a lighter note..."special egg olympics" = Bahahahahahahahaha! Awesome. :)
Posted by: Julie | November 03, 2011 at 12:50 AM
aw angela i'm so sorry. i can't even imagine how difficult all of this is for you guys. sending so many hugs and loves and thoughts of WICKED and all things fabulous to you.
Posted by: katelin | November 03, 2011 at 01:31 AM
I'm so sorry you have to go through this and to all other couples out there who are trying too. It sucks and I always worry that I'm going to end up in this situation. We haven't started trying but I'm worried that by the time we decide we're ready to start trying it won't work. Hang in there and I have a good feeling about this for you next year. Let 2012 be it! :)
Posted by: steph anne | November 03, 2011 at 06:01 AM
Awww crap. (Sorry to be late to this post.) The financial part sucks.
But, I do think that IVF+ICSI will get you your baby. I really and truly do. And it will be worth every dollar you spend on it.
If I were in your shoes I think I'd make the same decision. We aren't eligible for one of those package deals or I think I'd be doing it myself.
Hugs to you! xoxo
Posted by: janet | November 07, 2011 at 07:09 PM