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January 24, 2011





We'll keep you guys in our thoughts! :) Best of luck!


You, me. We need to talk.


Wow, thank you. This is a great post. I wish I wrote it myself before we slipped from "just trying" to "infertile" - you are definitely not alone but I know it can feel that way, and it will keep feeling that way if we don't all talk about it.

Hugs to you!

Old Warrior

Once in a galaxy far, far away:

Okay, once in a decade far, far away:

Step 1: Stop contraception
Step 2: No pregnancy for many, many months (all the books, all the charts, multiple thermometers, calendar, operations plans, etc, etc)
Step 3: Testing (me first - low but almost normal - note:apparently, pilots wearing g-suits, pulling g's, and high altitude exposure to radiation doesn't help)
Step 4: Guy and Lady Doctor experts certifying that conception is HIGHLY inlikely
Step 5: Adoption process marathon
Step 6: Adopt beautiful little newborn baby girl
Step 7: Finally life returned to a semi-relaxed state of normal with no need for contraception
Step 8: Pregnancy followed by birth of a beautiful baby girl

Moral - ?

Thoughts Appear

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I'm not trying to have a baby right now, but I worry about the same feelings you're having right now.

Good luck!


I give you major props for your positivity and insight into this whole situation, even though it's not your ideal scenario. You're right, it's not always as easy as just throwing out the condoms, and you're proof to the fact that you never know what's going to happen until you try. But, just like you do, (and even though I'm sort of a complete stranger...heh) I have complete faith that you have a wonderful journey ahead of you to becoming a mother, even if it's not exactly how it was planned in your mind. Try not to stress and stay positive just like you already are. And thanks for sharing your experience thus far, I know that it is going to really touch so many people.


Hugs Angela. And I'm sorry you guys are going through this trying period. Like someone else said, I'm not trying right now, but I do have those fears as well. It makes me wonder sometimes, how some people get pregnant by accident by trying to avoid getting pregnant, while for others it takes time. Wishing you guys positive baby vibes! Hugs.


Hugs, dear. I'm pulling for you!


Amen amen amen! I was a part of that silent majority, too. It took us four-five months of SOLID HARDCORE CHARTING trying before we got this baby. But there were months before that where we weren't doing the supplements and the charting and the mucus and were just having lots of sex at the right time of month, and nothing. And every month, I cried. I HATED it. Still, we did, blessedly, get our baby. But I'll never take it for granted again.

I'm praying for you, girl. Let me know if I can help in any way. I've been just where you are. With all those same fears. I'm here if you need me. heck, we live in the same town! I'll come cry with you if you need it!


Dude. ME TOO. I know I've commented before telling you that we were about to start trying, as well (after we got married on your birthday, coincidentally!). The first month was a no-go, despite, like you said, those multiple phantom pregnancy symptoms. And in the last 2 months, I feel like I now know more about cervical mucus, position, ovulation testing, and disappointing pregnancy testing than I ever thought possible. I know it's still *very* early, but I have to admit, I was holding out some hope that it would just 'happen' that first go around. And while I know the statistics, I can't help but have that nervous voice that thinks, what if there is SOMEthing wrong and we'll try with no luck forever? Sigh. Over-dramatic much? :) Anywho...I'm with you. In the same spot, just about, what, 2 months behind? Good luck to you guys!!

To the Nth

Wow. Your post articulates some of my own fears for when the time is right for my husband and I to begin trying to have a baby. You and your husband have my very best wishes for health and happiness, and I hope you are able to make that joyous announcement very soon.


I can COMPLETELY empathize with how you feel! My husband and I "tried" for six months before we were blessed with the second pink line (actually, it was blue and because I had heard about false positives with blue dye tests, of course I tried a digital four hours later). :)

Hang in there - it's AWESOME that you've already got the charting down and you can hopefully see a pattern in your cycle by now. I didn't start charting till month 4 and I wished I had done it earlier because I realized I was likely ovulating earlier than I had realized.

Also, because I always liked hearing what "worked" for others, this is what I did the month we conceived: ate foods high in vitamin B through the whole month (fortified cereals, bananas), drank Green tea days 1 to 12, and did the BD every other day or so. I got a negative test result on 12DPO, but a positive one at 15DPO.

((hugs)) and thanks for posting - it makes me crazy when people say they got pregnant the first month "trying", but when you really start asking questions, they hadn't been using protection for 6 months prior... ummmmm - that means you "tried" for six months!

Sorry for the long response. :) Stepping off soap box now!


Awwe, honey this has to be so hard. I'm glad that you're sharing here because that will bring the support that you need, and for those of us who pray, prayers.

I have not been reading anybody's blogs in the past several months, but your FB post brought me here so I can support you.

I love you honey.


I have been there. And I'm there again. I totally totally get it and I'm thinking of you.


I'm sure you figured you might hear from me on this one! If there was one thing I learned on our 2 year TTC was that there isn't one thing to learn. This experience is COMPLETELY out of your control. You are going to resent your body for not doing what it was biologically wired to do. I'm proud of you for voicing your frustrations. I didn't start talking to anyone about it until after a year...after I'd heard "oh, you just don't want to have a baby because you don't want to get fat!" a dozen times...after being told I would not be able to concieve without help....deciding no IVF, considering adoption, then considering IVF. Once I started talking to others, I realized there are more of us who do not get pregnant the first go around. And we are normal. And it will just make you treasure your little bundle that much more. Hang in there cuz...and if you have ANY questions, I'm here for you. I pretty much have a two-year degree in fertility!
Love you.


Beautifully written, as always, Angela. All I can offer is my hugs and prayers.


Hugs, support, lots of fairy dust headed your way. I have never in my life been "trying," so I can only imagine how frustrating it is. Hang in there, sweetie!


I am so sorry and I cannot imagine how frustrating this must be for you. Just in our 1 month of trying it was enough to make me obsessed. And I think about you every time I see a new baby is born, or a new pregnancy is announced- I can imagine how hard that would be. I know that a few months seems like FOREVER right now, and I won't try to make it sound easier than it is, because every single HOUR felt like a year when I didn't know if I was pregnant or not. I KNOW it will happen for you, and it will be soon, and I cannot WAIT for you to be pregnant, also. Just think- you won't have to be 9 months pregnant in the middle of the summer like me, though- THANK GOD for that! I'm sure you have "Taking Charge of your Fertility", but if not, I have it that you could borrow. My only advice that I hear over and over is "don't let yourself get to stressed out about it", as impossible as that is. It can make your journey harder and longer than it needs to be. GOOD LUCK, girl! I am praying for a healthy baby in your uterus, STAT! =)

The Incubator


Heidi Renée

Don't forget to enjoy the sex. Yes, it's a means to an end, but the process isn't any less important than the end goal. I sound like Dr. Ruth or something. I'm creeping myself out.

The truth is, I wonder all the time if we'll finally get started in that direction in a couple of years and then all of a sudden when we're ready, something else isn't. And I don't know how I'll feel about that.


Thank you for sharing, Angela! It's a brave step to "go public" with this process. For most of my adult life, I haven't thought much about how easy/not easy it would be to get pregnant. I thought it would just be a given. But now that I'm 30, and am still several years away from even THINKING about having children, it's on my mind constantly. It terrifies me to think that I might have difficulty. But I have 3 very close friends who've all struggled with getting pregnant, and all 3 of them are pregnant right now (it took almost 2 years for one of them). So I hope that you have a happy ending to your story, too. Thinking of you!


I know it's more difficult planning around deployments, but in reality 4-5 months is NOTHING in the conceiving process. And, to add to Old Warrior...'then came 2 more beautiful baby girls'! And, like Kendra said, it is out of your control. And, the more you stress and worry about it, the harder it will be for your body to cooperate in the process. I know it's cliche', but RELAX...don't freak out at the 4-5 month mark, it's really not THAT long! I love you!!!


I know the journey is long, but don't get discouraged! Love and miss you, friend!

Pink Herring

I'm so sorry you're going through this. It is SO frustrating. I was seriously shocked when I finally got around to reading TCOYF... I mean, my high school health teacher made it sound like if you Did It once without three different types of contraception you were guaranteed to get pregnant. And then I read that book, and basically I'm now amazed that anyone is ever able to get pregnant without a live-in medical team.

I can only imagine that the timing is more difficult when you're working around deployments... my fingers will be crossed for you guys!


Thank you for bravely sharing this with the bloggy world. You are so right, your story is not totally unique. But I know that doesn't make this struggle less difficult for you guys. In the silver lining department, you're learning, growing and preparing for whatever the future holds with grace and gratitude. And that is totally inspiring.

Kate P

Very brave to share your feelings--hugs & prayers for you.

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