Unnecessary Worry

My life is flying by so quickly, and sometimes I feel like I can't keep up.

We have been in Charleston for almost a YEAR.  The Mediterranean cruise that we've been talking about since this spring is just around the corner.  Colby's deployment is rapidly drawing to its close, and soon he'll be back on American soil... more specifically the soil in his backyard.

And of course, this means that all that baby talk is going to become an actual reality very shortly.

I'm not gonna lie, it makes me very anxious.

I'm scared of all the normal stuff.  Will I ever get my body back?  Will my child grow up to be a serial killer-drug dealing-ninja?  Will my shoe collection have to go live with Goodwill because my stupid feet grew?  Will I find myself actually wishing for a slick, family-friendly minivan?

But more than anything, will I even be able to get pregnant?

I don't know if it's the plethora of infertility blogs, or maybe the ease of internet research that describes in careful detail all of the reasons one might not be able to conceive a child.  Maybe it would just be the horrible irony of having spent so much of my life trying not to get pregnant, only to find out that I can't.  Maybe it's the fact that I feel like at this point, how could it have not happened on accident?  Maybe it's just a stupid, meaningless gut feeling.

Either way, I'm so worried about my ability to get knocked up.

Anyway, I know it's ridiculous to stress myself out before the process has even begun.  I'm trying to relax and just look forward to the future.  But there's always that little thought in the back of my mind, and I can't wait to prove it wrong!

Comments

[Kaley @ Cheap Therapy]

I had that same worry before I got pregnant with Avalon, too - because you never know what will or will not happen until you try, right? I think it's probably normal among women to have those kinds of thoughts. But try not to worry - instead enjoy (heh) and just live life to the fullest :)

[Margot]

It is easy to worry when you hear of others challenges in trying to conceive! I felt the same way -- "12 years of birth control...it'll take at least a year!" Well girl it only took DAYS! So just try to relax and let the powers that be take over - it may take months or it may not!

[Chels]

I totally hear you. I always tell my husband would should start trying soon because it's going to take eternity for it to ACTUALLY happen. I'm just as paranoid. :)

[Lynn]

I think everyone worries about that. Then there's the worry about losing the baby that you do conceive, which turns into worry about the birthing process, which turns into worry about actually raising a child ... it doesn't really stop. The good thing is that almost EVERY OTHER WOMAN has the same worries and there's a whole community to talk to. Also, statistically-speaking, you're more likely to be able to conceive than not, you probably won't lose your baby, and chances are high that you won't kill it when you do give birth.

In the meantime, enjoy the process :-)

[Carolyn Rawson]

Yep, same worries here too. None of the women in my family have been "fertile mertyls". But, worrying and having anxiety might make it harder to conceive - you've heard the stories that once people stopped trying, they finally got pregnant. I think it is SO true. Anxiety really wreaks havoc (sometimes hidden) on your body. So that will be a challenge, but try not to think about or expect it too much. I'm confident that if you and Colby are both fertile that trying NOT to think about it (I know. HARD!) will be all the better.

I'm so excited for you both!

[Janet]

Chances are you will be totally fine and get pregnant easily - so that is good news! If not, you can come hang out with me, lol :)

Also I would like to go on this cruise with you...sounds amazing!

[Kaela Dark]

Believe it or not, I even have the same worry, that it will take forever to get pregnant, even though I've already had one... it wasn't exactly ummm PLANNED. So what if I am trying and it was just some freak occurance that I got pregnant? And now that I actually WANT to be pregnant, will it just be awkward and so stressful that it won't happen? I'm just trying to not care if I get pregnant the first few months, because you really have no control over it. All you can do is umm... it, and then hopefully it will happen. And I'm sure all this stress will be for nothing for both of us! So excited that someone else is on board with the post-deployment baby boom that we will be creating. =)

[A Super Girl]

Well geez, now I'm anxious!!!!

Everything will be fine. Life's a journey, right? And I'm looking forward to reading about this one.

Also, I sincerely doubt your child will grow up to be a serial killer. Maybe a ninja. Ninjas are cool.

[Julie]

I could have written this exact post! (minus the military deployment and Mediterranean cruise bit!) We are going to start "trying" in 1 month, and although every female in my family so far (mothers, all sisters, and a niece) have gotten knocked up on the first try or even by accident, I still have worry twinges that it won't happen for me. I know it's dumb, but like you said - maybe the easy access to infertility blogs and info, etc, has my brain working overtime, but I am trying to reassure myself that 6-9 months is not an unreasonable amount of time. And for sure, after a lifetime spent trying NOT to get pregnant, I have sort of a hard time recognizing that very soon if will be OK for me to be pregnant. How weird! (but in case you want to keep your fingers crossed for me, we are getting married in New Orleans on December 20th, and it should be on that exact day that Aunt Flo will or won't show up depending on our previous efforts. So...we'll see! I'll keep my fingers crossed for you guys too!!)

[Molly]

I'd be more worried about the minivan than infertility. Adoption is a beautiful option... while driving a minivan is totally devastating. ;)

I can't wait for you to prove your worry wrong either!!!!

[Heidi Renée]

If your child turned out to be a ninja, I'd be pretty impressed.

[Jessica]

Being concerned about those things is totally normal, and if you want to see a doctor for a check before going full forward, that makes sense if it can buy some piece of mind. Don't stress too much though (if you can help it), enjoy this great time!