The Donut of Misery

Congratulations!  You're over the hump!

I haven't been posting much about Colby's deployment because... well... it's just easier to not think about it.  Between my trip to Japan, my mom's visit, never-ending classes, and spending time with pals in the local area, the first half of the deployment has gone by pretty quickly.

Yes, that's right, we are officially well into the second half of the deployment!  And really, I thought I was handling it with aplomb.

But part of me wonders if the deployment isn't what's taking a toll on my energy levels.  If there's a subconscious stress there that I didn't even realize I was feeling with Colby gone.  If that is the case, it does make sense that the exhaustion would have peaked over the past couple of weeks as we're in that dreaded mid-deployment hump.  Those few weeks in which half the deployment is behind you, but the second half still stretches out before you in an endless parade of lonely days.

It bugs me when people complain constantly about deployments.  We knew what we were signing up for when we attached ourselves to these military men, and unless anyone was told a bald-faced lie, we knew there would be plenty of nights alone.  There's also a tendency for military spouses to pull out their rulers and start measuring and comparing--there's always someone who has it so much worse and wants everyone to know.  And you can't help but feel envious of those who have shorter deployments to get through.  Honestly, it's just a minefield of a conversation, and I try to avoid it as much as possible.

But I think every now and then you just have to get it out, and I'm taking that opportunity now:  This deployment suuuuucks.  I'm so tired of Google chat and Skype crapping out on us and having to fill out customs forms and having questions that can't be immediately answered and cooking dinners for one and making plans for one.  So there.

The good news is that the deployment IS more than halfway done, and the next month or so is incredibly busy.

Next week is packed with fun activities with friends, the following week my San Francisco bestie is coming for a visit, then I'm visiting my sister in NYC for a few days and heading to Vermont for a wedding.  I'll have one day in Charleston to recharge before driving to Louisiana for a week and then my sister is driving back home with me to spend some time in the Holy City.

By the time she leaves, just a few measly weeks will stand between me and Colby's return.  So, the exhausted part of me is pretty overwhelmed by all of this upcoming activity, but the lonely part of me is looking forward to the craziness and the fact that when it's over, it really will be almost over.

And then my vote is for two weeks of re-constitutional leave spent sitting on the sofa, watching tv, eating Dominoes Pizza. It will be so nice to be boring WITH someone else again.

Comments

[Miriam]

I don't know how you do it. I liken it to summer vacation (b/c I have nothing else to liken it to). I know that if my husband had to leave me for such a long time I'd almost be excited for a few days of peace & quiet and me time and doing whatever I wanted to do. But then I'd start to get bored and lonely and would probably become a hermit and be a wasted shell of a human being by the time he got back. So, I guess what I'm saying is, go you! You're keeping yourself busy and generally happy :)

[Stevie]

That's wonderful that you're in the second half! Sounds like the best thing you can do is to just keep yourself busy as much as possible. But definitely allow yourself time to vent/get angry/frustrated/etc like you're doing now. Keep your chin up!

[Heidi Renée]

I just saw that donut for the first time the other day, and I am so going to do one for our long deployment coming up.

We spent our post-deployment weekend being boring together. Now that I look back on what I blogged about during this very short trip, an awful lot of it was deployment-related. It's so hard to find a balance between sharing your experience and sounding lame and whiney (which you definitely don't). I'm going to have to work on that for the next one.

[Jessica]

Congrats on getting over the hump. Somehow, once you're past that spot, time goes by so much faster. I hope that donut keeps going in your favor!

[steph anne]

Awesome on getting over the hump! That's an interesting way to look at it.