Tomorrow Is Another Day...

Impending Death Is Not Acute Enough

Oh, internet.

I'm sorry to do this to you, but Colby's not around right now, and I have managed to completely freak myself out via Google, WebMD, and scores of illiterate postings to pregnancy forums.

So, I mentioned that I've been really, REALLY tired since I got home from Japan.  At first I thought I was just having trouble adjusting from the jet lag, but then the exhaustion persisted and I started thinking thyroid disorder or iron deficiency.

Then I started getting fatter, and I have a little belly pooch where there has never been any poochage before.  This without having changed my diet extraordinarily, making an 8 pound weight gain in two months more than a little perplexing.

I mean, the obvious reaction from the internet as well as everyone else in the world is OMG, you're pregnant!  Even Colby last night hesitantly made that suggestion.

I've been laughing it off, but secretly in my crazy brain, I've sort of come to that conclusion myself, against all odds.  I have taken FOUR pregnancy tests.  And they're all negative.  And I've had a fairly normal cycle if ya catch my drift.  I mean, it's just not likely is what I'm saying.

But then yesterday, I got horrible cramps.  I woke up this morning and (fair warning to anyone squeamish or of the male persuasion) there was some SERIOUS bleeding going on downtown.  I kept an eye out for anything clot-like (Sorry.  Gross.  I know.) but so far it's just been like someone cut an artery in my lady business.

I was stupid enough to spend the morning googling 2-month baby bumps and miscarriages, and upon formally diagnosing myself with the former as well as the latter, I called to make a doctor's appointment.  But then, I chickened out at the last minute.  I mean, come on, FOUR NEGATIVE PREGNANCY TESTS, three cycles since the last time conception could have been physically possible.

I'm not saying it's completely out of the realm of possibility that I had the Immaculate Conception v. 2.0, but I think we can all agree it's pretty unlikely.

So, I told the appointment line that I was having very heavy bleeding and had been feeling weak and tired for the past month or so, and the earliest they can get me in is Thursday afternoon.  If only I'd broken my finger, I could see a doctor today!

I'm trying to remind myself how well playing doctor for myself has worked out in the past.  (Reminder:  Not well.  You know, because I'm NOT A DOCTOR.)  But yeah, I'm still kind of freaking out over here.  And then there's the riveting mental battle between OH GOD I'M DYING and complete awareness of how overly dramatic I'm being.  I think the bottom line is that I've just watched way too many episodes of Glee.  Hysterical pregnancy!  Eff yeah!!

Still, the thought of getting off the couch right now is enough to make me want to faint in a decidedly Victorian manner, so I think I'm just going to lay here with the vapors for a bit longer and wait for death.  Or wait until I'm hungry enough to get up and make something to eat.

I'm Losing It: Round 2

Well, life is back to normal.  Normal meaning, I am alone in my house with only two four-legged fur creatures to keep me company, and Facebook as my window to the outside world.  This week is actually pretty well packed with friends and book clubs, but it also marks my return to the always fascinating world of weight loss documentation.

I know there are few things more interesting to others than how many calories I've burned in a day, how many hours I've exercised, and how jiggly my thighs are at any given moment, so I am once more planning to chronicle my struggles against the chub here each Sunday.

Two months ago, I broke up with the South Beach diet and jetted off to Japan with every intention of getting back to my healthy eating habits when I returned home.  Except then I spent ten days eating whatever I wanted, came home to a sad, empty air condition-less house, and proceeded to eat my feelings interspersed with infrequent moments of guilt-induced vegetable ingestion.

While my mom was here, I did the food pyramid proud as she was in the first two weeks of the South Beach diet, and it was amazing how much better I felt about myself.  Then she left, I ate my weight in Reese's Peanut Butter cups, and I'm back to feeling like a fat cow.

I'm older than I used to be--funny how that works.  My metabolism is crapping out on me.  I'm carrying weight in my waist/stomach which has NEVER been a problem before.  I'm still fitting in a size 0/2 in tops and dresses and 2/4 in shorts and pants, but I have managed to put on almost 10 pounds in 2 months.  That's just gross.  Honestly, I don't understand how that's possible--I haven't been eating THAT badly and I've been exercising.  And yet, the scale doesn't lie.

So, starting tomorrow, I am rebooting my healthy eating habits with the first two weeks of South Beach, and hoping to be a bit lighter by the time Colby comes home in November. Same process as before--working out (except replacing Jillian with Insanity) and following South Beach.  I won't be "officially" starting my diet until tomorrow since I'm going to a dinner party tonight, and can't just sit there and not eat.

Current Weight: 130.8

Goal Weight: 119

I couldn't believe it when I saw that number on the scale this morning.  WHAT THE HELL??  I haven't weighed that much in years.  I'm really embarrassed and angry at myself for letting my addiction to food take over and ignoring what it is doing to my body.  Since I'd like to have this done by Colby's return, that means my weekly weight loss goal is 1.3 pounds.  Doable.  As long as I can resist the siren call of peanut butter and cheese--my two South Beach Diet weaknesses.

Ugh.  Here we go again.

Self-Imposed Exile

Things have been good lately, but so busy!  My mom has been in town for the past week and extended her trip by a few days so that we can have more lowcountry fun today and tomorrow.  I've had a great time showing her around Charleston, and we have definitely done our part to stimulate the economy as we eat, shop and tour our way through the area.

I've also started what is GOD WILLING my last masters class.  Of course, I've thought this two times previously, but I'm optimistic that this time I really do only have seven weeks of school left.  Long story here, and I will definitely be posting a very public and honest review of my school next week.  I can't do much to fix the mess of the last few months, but I can at least warn other students.  So, more to come on that, and now I'm just trying to be positive about this class and give it my best effort.

I'm still doing Insanity most mornings, though having company I've missed a couple of days.  But I'm still liking it, and I'm getting pretty close to the end of the first phase before I'll enter a "recovery week", and then jump into the last four weeks that ramp things up to a whole other level.  Yikes!

I've also been so bloody exhausted lately.  My mom and I are generally home from our daily adventures around 5 or 6, and I feel so beaten down.  It's all I can do to keep my eyes open until bed time.  I'm eating a fairly healthy diet with lots of veggies and proteins, I'm exercising regularly and getting about eight hours of sleep a night, so I'm really starting to wonder if something is wrong with me.  I have a family history of thyroid disorders, so I think in the next couple of weeks I'm going to see if I can have some tests run.

So, anyway, I haven't done much to keep up with blogging, and even my email and Facebook have been fairly neglected.  But hopefully next week, I'll be back in the saddle again and this weekend I'll be visiting some blogs to say hi.

Insanity Day 15: A Love Letter

First thing:

Staring at this man for 45 minutes a day--DOES NOT SUCK.

Second thing:

I LOVE INSANITY!!!!

It is no kidding, the toughest work out I've ever done in my life (with the possible exception of a few military related events, but... let's just not think about that).  I sweat buckets, collapse in a weak-kneed puddle at least a few times during each session, and have felt like throwing up more than once.  But I LOVE IT.

When I was just talking about starting this program, I heard a lot of terrifying things about how hard it is, and those comments very nearly put me off.  I am so glad I didn't succumb to my fears, and decided to give it a try.  I have made tons of progress in just two weeks, and with only a month and a half left in the program, I actually find myself pondering whether or not I might be able to conquer P90X.

For once, I'm not judging myself based on my weight, I'm judging myself based on how I feel.  And I feel POWERFUL.  I find myself looking forward to my workouts, and on the couple of days when I was having technology issues and couldn't do Insanity, I seriously missed it.

On Monday, I reached day 15 of the program, and it was time for my second fit test.  Every two weeks you go through eight different exercises and see how many repetitions of each you can do in one minute.  The very first day of Insanity is the baseline fit test, and after two weeks of intense plyometrics and cardio, I was ready for fit test number two to see how far I had come.

And y'all, I am PROUD of myself!  I've only skipped one day altogether, and my first week I had to shuffle a couple of the workouts around due to DVD issues, but I still managed to improve on every single exercise.

Move                         Fit Test 1          Fit Test 2

Switch Kicks                   41                    49

Power Jacks                   44                    50

Power Knees                  74                    94

Power Jumps                  35                    44

Globe Jumps                   7                     10

Suicide Jumps                13                    16

Push-up Jacks                14                    29

Low Plank Oblique          37                   56

(Note on Switch Kicks, I'm not sure if I'm counting these right.  I seem to be in the same ballpark as the DVD testers on all the other exercises, but they're blowing me out of the water on these.  The test sheet says that 2 kicks = 1 rep, so that's how I'm counting them.)

So, yeah, I'm totally hooked.  And if I could just tell you one thing about this program it's this: If you are thinking about doing it?  DO IT!  Yes, it is a challenge.  It's gonna hurt.  But it is so much fun.  And you will feel amazing about yourself when you see what you can achieve.

Dig deeper!

MilSpouse Friday Fill-In #8

It's 9:30 in the morning, and I'm already wiped out.  Whoo!  Yesterday's relaxing day turned into a morning spent bonding with the DirecTV guy as he installed our satellite dish (SUCK IT, COMCAST!!) and then an afternoon running errands in the 110 degree heat index.  Then I had the worst time sleeping.  I don't think I slept more than an hour at a time all night.  Ugh.

But I woke up this morning, put on my big girl britches, and went out to replace the embarrassingly dead flowers around the bottom of the tree in our front yard.  Holy shit, it is hot outside.  So, after an hour digging, planting and collecting debris off the lawn, I'm already about to die.  Fortunately, today's blog is an easy one--Wife of a Sailor's MilSpouse Fill-In!

What is ONE thing you’d like civilians to understand about being a military family?
Well, I should preface this by saying that every family is different, including military families.  I guess for me in particular, I just want you to know that we're really not that abnormal!  I swear!  As I've talked about before, I tend to get a lot of "wow, I don't know how you do it" type comments, and I just think it's a product of people trying to reach out and be kind, but honestly, there's nothing particularly special about us.  It's just our life.  We still have the same conversations, do dishes, cook dinner, argue over stupid things.  We're just like you--we just spend more time apart.

What is your favorite mistake?
Haha, getting super drunk at a college party in 2002 and making out with Colby all night in front of all our friends.  Super embarrassing at the time, especially as we spent the next few weeks awkwardly avoiding eye contact, but I think it worked out pretty well in the end!

What indulgence could you give up for a year?
Hm, this is a tough one...  I guess I would say professional hair coloring.  I already do my brown out of a box, but I still like to get highlights put in every couple of months.  I could live without that.

If you could be a winged animal, what would you be?
I would be a butterfly.  They have a great sense of style, sit around in the sun a lot, and drink nectar.  Sounds good to me!

What is one question you’d like to see asked in a future MFF?
I'd like to know people's favorite assignments and why!  The Air Force has already told us to start putting together our dream sheet for our next assignment, and I want to know what people really think about the places they've lived.  Maybe we could get some insight into where we should go next!

Girl's Night In

I'm exhausted.

Honestly, how did I do everything I do now, and still work?  Granted, I watched a lot less television, but it doesn't seem to matter how much time there is in the day, sleeping is ALWAYS my last priority.

I need to recharge my batteries.

I've mentioned before that I'm an introvert.  Lest you all get the wrong impression, I feel like I should clarify.

I'm really not a shy person.  The thought of going out exhausts me, but I always have a good time once I'm there.  I love spending time with my friends and meeting new people.  There are few things as fun as splitting a bottle of wine with a friend or shopping till you drop with a group of great gals.

But when I say I'm an introvert, what I mean is, I do not feed off of these outings.  As much as I enjoy spending time with family and friends, my energy is sapped.  There are people like my sister, who are constantly going, going, going.  No matter how full their day becomes, they want to do more.  It seems like my sister actually gains energy from her constant activities.

Whereas I want to die from exhaustion just thinking about working full time, taking classes, working out and having an active social life on top of it all.  When I spend time with people, I have to recover afterward.  I need to have time to myself to decompress and just... be.  To be alone and not lonely.

I've had plans every night this week.  I have plans on Friday, Saturday and Monday, as well.  My mom is coming to visit on Tuesday, and I'm sure we'll have all kinds of fun together over the week that she'll be in town.

But I need a night to myself.  I need to sit at home, in my pajamas, remote control in one hand and a book in the other.  I need to not hear anyone's voice.  I need to not have to think of anything witty to say.  I need to refuel my energy so that I can enjoy the next round of events coming my way.

What about you?  Do you feel more energetic when you're surrounded by people and busy as a bee?  Or do you treasure your alone time above all else?

Cherry on Top!

Ahhh, the excitement still hasn't worn off, and plans became even more official yesterday as we booked our flights to Barcelona for a screaming deal.  My parents also decided to come with us, and have a fancy balcony room on the top of the ship, so we'll probably be spending many an evening crammed onto their balcony gazing out on the vast blue sea.

Another event occurred last week that gave me a thrill as a fellow military spouse blogger, To the Nth, honored me with one of the most adorable little blog awards I ever have seen.  I'm so grateful to her for this honor, and so happy that we found each other through the Mil-Spouse fill in.  She's always got the most hilariously dry take on life, and I look forward to reading her posts because I know I'll always get a good laugh.  Thank you so much!

Cherry-licious Rules:

• Thank the person (or people) who, in a display of erudite good taste, bestowed the award upon you.
• List three things you love about yourself.
• Pass the love along to five other bloggers.

Self Love

• I love my sense of humor.  I crack myself up on a regular basis, regardless of whether or not anyone else is laughing.  It's great that I enjoy my own company since with Colby's job I'm by myself frequently.  I spend an alarming amount of my own time talking to myself and cracking jokes.  If I start to feel too self conscious, I just pretend I'm talking to my dogs.  I'm not sure if that's more or less insane.
• On a more vain note, I love my eyes.  As I've gotten older, I've noticed that I have sort of an eyelids-at-half-mast thing going on that's a bit annoying, but I still think my eyes are one of my best features.
• And riffing a bit more on the first bullet point, I love that I'm perfectly happy on my own.  I love to go to movies by myself.  I've traveled alone.  I shop and go out to eat alone (still haven't gotten brave enough to go to dinner at a restaurant by myself), and I'm completely content.  Of course, it's also fun to do these things with friends, but I have this theory that if you can love your own company, everyone else will love it too.  I have not yet scientifically proved or disproved this theory.

Blog Love

I'm going to use this platform to highlight some of the newer blogs that I've discovered.  Not new to the world, perhaps, but new to me!

• Kaley at Cheap Therapy
• Chelsea at Chelsea's Psycho Babble
• Kendra at Uncork and Unwined
• Aly at Breathe Gently
• Ashley at Ashalah (Okay, well, I didn't just discover her, but I DID rediscover her after losing track of her blog for ages as we both moved internet addresses!)

Congrats ladies, for having that little bit extra... on top...  You know, like a cherry.  Nothing dirty, you perverted people!

See The Pyramids Along the Nile

Last night felt like Christmas Eve.  I forced myself to go to bed at a decent hour so the night would pass quickly, then proceeded to toss and turn into the wee hours of the morning, because I was just way the eff too excited to sleep.

Colby's boss finally, FINALLY approved the leave that he requested almost two months ago, and it's officially official: In less than four months, we'll be setting sail for adventure on the high seas!  A twelve night cruise in the Mediterranean!!!

I can't think of anything that I've been this excited about in a long time... I think I'm more excited about this than our honeymoon.  Is that terrible?  I DON'T EVEN CARE!!!  The cruise departs from Barcelona, so we're going to fly out a few days early to spend some time in that amazing city.  I'm so looking forward to a trip which I won't have to meticulously plan each day's itinerary and coordinate hotels and departure dates and transportation.  With the exception of the first three days and our last night in Barcelona, every single little thing will be taken care of by someone else.  It's going to be two and a half weeks of completely blissful relaxation and experiencing some of the most incredible sights the world has to offer.

Barcelona... Gaudi architecture, the Picasso Gallery, Las Ramblas, paella!

Palermo... Castello dello Zisa, Quattro Canti, potential Mafia sightings!

Athens... the Parthenon, Agora, ouzo, financial ruin!

Rhodes... the beautiful blue-green of the Aegean sea, sparkling white houses on a hill, the Acropolis of Rhodes, moussaka!

Malta... okay, honestly, I don't know what to get excited about here, but it looks gorgeous!

Alexandria... the Catacombs of Kom ash-Shuqqafa, Pompei's Pillar, falafel!

Cairo... THE PYRAMIDS OF GIZA!  THE SPHINX!!!

Let me be totally honest, I am doing the pee pee dance over here, I am so beyond thrilled.  I'm going to be absolutely insufferable for the rest of the day.  How am I supposed to read a chapter about utilizing technology to create effective instruction when I am going to be gazing upon the pyramids in four months?  It is physically impossible!  In fact, I don't think I'm going to be capable of anything remotely useful until next year, so let me just go ahead and clear my calendar.  All of the caps lock and exclamation points in the world cannot even begin to convey the epic level of giddiness that I have reached.

The pyramids, y'all.  THE PYRAMIDS!!

Oh.  My.  God.

MilSpouse Friday Fill-In #7

1) What is something you wished you’d learned to do earlier in life?
I wish that I had learned to sew a long time ago.  It's something I still haven't learned to do, and I have all of these fantasies about seeing a fabulous outfit in Vogue and being to whip it up on my sewing machine in an hour for, like, 50 cents.  My mom tried to teach me to cross-stitch when I was about 5 and I worked on some damn yarn cat on a net sampler for the next seven years without ever finishing it, so I think I'd like to stick with sewing for the sake of fashion.

2) What is your biggest pet peeve with the military?
A lot of people will say that they dislike the instability and the inability to plan anything because of unexpected deployments, classes that suddenly pop up, canceled leave, and yes, that bugs me too, but it's not my biggest pet peeve.  My biggest gripe is the rating system.  You see, there are these things called EPRs and OPRs (Enlisted or Officer Performance Reports).  These are done yearly and are the main source of information when it comes to promotions--especially officers.  However, it's gotten to the point where they are so overinflated that everyone looks as though they are Superman, and if you can't somehow turn making photocopies into a Herculean task, you're probably not going to make it past Major.  They're completely awful, and for years the military has talked about overhauling the system, but that would be a huge pain in the ass and just hasn't happened yet.  Sorry, that got... long-winded...

3) What tourist attraction near you have you never seen?
We've been in Charleston for a little over 7 months, and while there are tons of attractions Colby hasn't seen yet, I've done a pretty good job of seeing most of the big sights.  Of course, there's always more to see and I'm desperate to get up to the Biltmore Estate in North Carolina.

4) What are you avoiding doing right now?
I started Insanity on Monday, and it's not nearly as awful as I'd expected, but I'm always going to avoid doing exercise.  That's just the way it is.

5) Wine, beer or liquor?
Wine--red wine to be more specific!  Liquor has its place from time to time--particularly in a fancy martini, a pina colada or a cranberry and vodka, but NEVER beer.  Blech.  If I have to drink something beer-like, I enjoy a delicious raspberry lambic, but wine still comes first.

Blog Hop 2010

(I just found this carnival through Uncorked and Unwined--the 2010 Blog Hop, hosted by Pensieve.  A great way for those of us who aren't at BlogHer this weekend, to connect with the blogosphere!)

Hey, y'all!  Welcome to my little corner of the internet.  I'm a 27 year old Southern Belle with an itch for travel and an aversion to staying in one place for too long.  My husband is an Air Force pilot, which means that we move every 3 years or so, perfectly suiting my nomadic streak!  We've known each other since I was 17, been together since I was 19, and married for almost 3 years.

So far, I've lived in Oklahoma, Virginia, Louisiana, Arkansas, Washington, and we are now thrilled to be making our home in Charleston, SC.  I've worked as an administrative assistant for an oil marketers association, a hostess at a pizza restaurant, a personnelist in the Air Force, an office manager for a technical marketing firm and taken care of other people's children at before and after school care.  I am back in school right now to earn my Masters in Elementary Education, but I still haven't totally figured out what I want to be when I grow up.  Right now, I'm thinking ballerina.  Maybe I should take some ballet lessons.

I'm an avid fan of reading, writing, scrapbooking, traveling and LSU football.  My biological clock recently started ticking like a time bomb, and I am seriously considering kidnapping a small child if my husband doesn't return from his deployment soon and knock me up.  I recommend that my friends and family keep a very close eye on their children when I'm in the general area.

I'm looking forward to "meeting" you all, as I really am something of an introvert, and the idea of standing in a room full of thousands of bloggers at BlogHer makes my palms sweat and my mouth dry.  Let the blog hopping begin!

Pearl Necklace Giveaway Winner!!!!

Wow, y'all, thank you so much for entering the giveaway for Lynn's Aloha Kitchen Etsy Shop pearl necklace.  We both were terribly excited by the response we got, and the next time you're in the market for a piece of jewelry, I hope you'll remember to check out Lynn's gorgeous jewels!

Twenty three of you put your names in the hat, with a total of 83 entries.  I put everyone into an Excel spreadsheet as many times as you entered, sorted the list randomly, and then used Randomizer.org to come up with the winner.  So, drum roll please....

The winner is...

#49: Aly!!!

I really wasn't rooting for anyone in particular, but I am so thrilled for Aly.  She's a new reader, with an awesome blog of her own, and in her entry comments she mentioned that she may wear this necklace at her wedding or rehearsal dinner!  Is that not just the sweetest thing ever?  I would love that so much!

So, congratulations, Aly, I'll shoot you an email also.  And for everyone who didn't win, thank you again so much for being awesome readers.  I'm hoping to have another Etsy giveaway here in a little while, so stay tuned for another chance to win.

Confessions Part 3

(Don't forget, today is the last day to enter my pearl necklace giveaway!  All entries must be submitted by midnight and the winner will be announced tomorrow.  And follow the directions so I can give you all the points that you earn!)

So, it's been a long time since I've bared my soul to you and confessed a whole lot of things that I generally keep swept under the carpet.  But sometimes, it's very cathartic to just SAY THINGS, regardless of what people will think of you or whether anyone will agree.  Get it out there, let it roll around the universe for a bit, and then let things settle where they may.  It's been a while since I've done this.  I wrote my first round of confessions almost two years ago, and I let go another volley a few months later.  So, here we have it, my most recent round of Uncomfortably Honest Things I Should Just Keep to Myself.  Except I'm a blogger.  By definition, I am incapable of keeping things to myself.

* I have always wanted to be a stay at home mom, and my foray into child care further reinforced my desire to raise my children myself and not depend on relative strangers to do it for me.  I don't judge moms that choose differently, but wow, there is some seriously weird shit that goes on in child care.

* I’ve come to think that my Masters degree is a huge waste of time and money.

* I hate any website with music that plays automatically.  I don’t care how well you write, I’m out.  Jane Austen could come back from the dead, start a blog, and if Colbie Callait came blaring on my speakers, I’d be done.

* I am crazy competitive.  Unfortunately, I’m not super great at a whole lot of things.  This can frequently lead to a “situation”.

* This competitiveness spills over into blogging sometimes.  I’m never going to be a super blogger.  I get that.  I embrace it.  But the stat counter can really boost or destroy my ego.  Especially when I think about how many hits I used to get, compared to how many I get now.  I know I need to just get.  Over.  It.  But that’s difficult.

* Sometimes when my dogs are really driving me nuts and I snap at them and yell like an ogre or smack them on the nose, I become absolutely horrified at what kind of mother I might be someday.  Note to self: remove all wire hangers from the house the second I conceive.

* In addition to the boobs I would like to purchase some day, I would also love to have extensions put in my hair.  For it is flat and thin and uninspired.  Yes, I would like to be made of Fake.

* I’ve been going through a serious crisis of faith for the past couple of years.  I know I believe in something.  I just don’t know what it is.  I still pray, but I don’t know who or what I’m praying to.  Usually, I just feel like I’m talking to myself.

* Receiving a long email can significantly brighten my day.  Hearing my phone ring makes me want to throw up.

* It doesn’t matter how cute a piece of clothing is.  If it runs small and I have to “size up”, I refuse to buy it.  Subsequently, Target and Old Navy get a lot of my money.

* I don’t work out to be healthy.  I work out so that I can eat like crap.

* If no one comments on my Facebook status, I feel like a total loser.  Me = totally secure.

* I think people who follow trends regardless of how that trend is even remotely flattering are stupid.  Remember gauchos of yesteryear?  Bodysuits, anyone?  The rompers of today.  Mark my words.  We will look back and laugh.  Bitterly.

* I think I’ve become addicted to tea like most people are addicted to coffee.  I can’t go a day without a cup.  Or two.  Okay, three.

Sisters: A Facebook Montage

I've made no secret of the fact that I love Facebook--my passion for it is so strong that I even gave it up for Lent a couple of years ago, and it was one of the biggest sacrifices I've ever made.  There are a lot of great things about Facebook, but one of the best parts is the way it has forever immortalized the strange and singular relationship I have with my sister through the beauty of Wall to Wall.  It's true that I have a... different sense of humor... but when our powers combine...  Well, let's just say, here is a sampling of our comments to one and other over the past year or so.  Do not expect any sort of narrative thread.  If you find yourself laughing, but you're not sure why--welcome to our world.

Angela to Brittany: You know what the worst thing about being sisters is? "Your mom" jokes fall really flat.

Brittany to Angela: I bought a pair of cowboy boots at a vintage store today ;) They're already beat up, so I won't feel bad about dinging them up around the city... but I thought of you cause they had SOMEONE ELSE'S FEET IN THEM!

Brittany to Angela: They didn't have someone else's feet in them at the time that I bought them... the only feet in them were mine... I mean... they HAD someone else's feet in them at some point...

Brittany to Angela: Just to... clarify...

Brittany to Angela: You are pretty fly... I mean, for a white guy...

Angela to Brittany: I think New York made your boobs bigger. Will Charleston have the same effect on me? One can only hope!!

Angela to Brittany: I'm thinking of writing a song for you. It would start out "When I'm feeling down and a little bit upset, I always tell myself, 'Well, at least I am not dead!'" But after that, I kind of hit a wall. A metaphorical wall.

Brittany to Angela: You're facebook following me...

Angela to Brittany: Do you like Bailey's?

Brittany to Angela: Only out of a shoe!

Brittany to Angela: You were in my dream last night... driving my car (that I don't have)... on a mario kart track... you were a very poor driver... and my teeth fell out... and your friend who is a blogger appeared in the car sitting on your lap as you drove.... because she could do this thing where her mind would wander and her "spirit" could travel... it was a very peculiar dream... good seeing you though!

Brittany to Angela: You're not dreamin' it's the moondreamers--makin' your sweet ass dreams come true!

Angela to Brittany: Holy crap. I heard No Scrubs on the radio today! I wanted to text you, but I was driving a bus full of kids and that seemed imprudent.

Angela to Brittany: Bawk, bawk, bawk. You're right. You're not a chicken. You're a rooster. Check it!

Angela to Brittany: WE ARE THE PERFECT MATCH! I just have to find a way to make you know it... Tara! I'll go back to Tara!

Angela to Brittany: Wow, Tyrone Power. I've... heard of him? I'm obsessed with these stupid facebook quizzes. Make me stop! I kind of want to punch you in the jaw now. Just to see how you take it.

Angela to Brittany: Holy jeez! That's a whole lot of Brittany head! (That's what she said.) (That was weak, I know.) I know nothing about what makes for a good headshot, but I just wanted to tell you that you are very pretty and I hate you for that. But in a way that is very loving.

Angela to Brittany: You know, your status updates are more like watching a descent into mental instability than any indication of what you're actually up to. On the other hand, your eyes look kind of green in that picture, so there's that.

Angela to Brittany:  Freedom cheese!!!  Yum!!!

An Unexpected Weekend

I had plans to leave town on Wednesday, so when my Washington plans fell through due to one canceled Space A flight after another, I was faced with a pretty quiet weekend.  I did manage to have a rather lovely few days at home though!  To recap...

via longhorndave

Friday night, I met some friends at a newish restaurant in town, Bistro 536, for a four course dinner with wine pairings.  I was a little apprehensive as it was a white wine flight, and I am a staunch red wine drinker, but I was actually very impressed with all of the chardonnays served.  We went on a "trip around the world" trying chardonnays from Italy, New Zealand, Chile and finally a sparkling chardonnay from California.  I was thrilled that none of them were sweet, and I'd even go so far as to say I enjoyed the one from New Zealand immensely.  Shame I drank four glasses of wine and promptly forgot its name.

Saturday, I did a little prep work in the yard seeing as a lawn service representative is coming to give me a quote for... lawn service.  I recognize that this is about as ridiculous as cleaning before the maid comes over, but seriously, our yard is embarrassing right now.  That night I stayed in with some tortellini, Cupcake cabernet sauvignon, and my very favorite new guilty pleasure, Pretty Little Liars.  Oh my God, this show is full of everything that is perfect in pop culture--beautiful people, murder mysteries, and epic teenage drama.  I highly recommend it if you're in the market for some brain rot.

 

Sunday, I finally unwrapped the Insanity DVD workout that I got off Craigslist last week, read through the included instructions and... put it away.  Okay, in my defense, the fancy little wall calendar I'm supposed to used to "track my progress" has the workouts starting on Monday, but I've got to be honest, I am terrified!  I've read all the reviews and have been thinking about this program for a long time, and there's a part of me that's excited, but every single person I've told about this workout plan o'mine, has reacted with fear and horror.  Even the P90Xers look at me with sympathy in their eyes, though it's always followed up with a "but I've heard it really works...".  So, um, yeah, I'm starting this sucker today, and holy crackers, I am scared.  Does anyone out there have anything more motivating to add aside from a cheerful, "Hope you don't drop dead!"