Oahu: The Island of a Bajillion People and Three Interstates

 

So, here's the thing, I'm just going to say it and accept the backlash that this controversial statement will likely create.  I just didn't like Oahu.  I could write paragraph after paragraph listing all of my reasons, but really they can all be summed up thusly:
1) Tiny island, LOTS of people.
2) Big city conventionality.

If you want to get a parking spot at the beach, you have to be there by 8 am, or walk miles from the closest available spot.  It may look like it will only take 10 or 15 minutes to get to Waikiki from the airport, but it will, in fact, take an hour.  And all of this in a place that has become nothing but a bite-sized, beach-side version of Times Square.  Were we miserable while we were there?  Well, sometimes we were, but overall, no.  Were we ready to go home when the seventeenth rolled around?  Yes.

But our hotel room was nice.

And our view was TOO DIE FOR.

 

But first!  We had to finish our Kauai "to do list".  No, I didn't make an itinerary, but come on, you didn't think I would go on vacation with at least SOME sort of goals in mind!  The morning before we caught our flight we woke up to the torrential downpour of Tropical Depression Felicia.  Lucky for us, she apparently had gotten wind of our schedule and was kind enough to clear up for our visit to the Kauai Coffee Company (tried the coffee--still hate it) and the Hyatt at Poipu for lunch (new goal--STAY THERE SOMEDAY).  The waves were still enormous, but the sun was shining, and we were crying on the inside as we headed off to the airport to do battle with the car rental agency.  It was, however, with a joyful heart that we waved goodbye to our crappy PT Cruiser, and soon we were back in the air, on the way to our next island.

We were greeted by a lovely rainbow over the mountains as we drove to Waikiki, but opted to stay in for the night as Felicia's rain had followed us.  We dined on delicious Wolfgang Puck Express Pizzas as we watched the mysteries of magic revealed on tv.  The next morning we dragged ourselves out of bed and headed to Pearl Harbor to visit the Arizona Memorial.  It was an intensely powerful experience, and I found myself not in the minority as a few tears made an appearance as I looked down into the oil-slicked water.  It wasn't the most uplifting moment of our trip, but I think a reminder about the true cost of freedom is important every now and then.

For lunch, we decided to check out Hickham AFB, where a few of our friends will be moving in the next few months, and then went back to the hotel to get ready for the Hale Koa luau that evening.  Now, I can't speak for other luaus, but I can tell you this, if you're looking for good food, hot men climbing coconut trees, women shaking what the good Lord gave them, and a delicious pina colada, then the Hale Koa luau is the place for you.  We were even treated to an adult contemporary hit of the late 80s as the MC sang his world famous chart topper, Nothing's Gonna Change My Love For You.  (You have to watch that video--horses, beaches, sunsets, pink sundresses--you will NOT regret it.)  (I may or may not have downloaded that the minute I got back home.)  (I did.)  He's a high school teacher now.

The next morning we totally rejected the schedule we'd decided on the night before and slept until after ten.  Which meant that we began hiking Diamond Head around noon.  Bad Idea Pants.  Which leads me to a recurring observation we had about Hawaiian hiking levels--they say "easy", I say "It's not easy if you can't hike it with a pina colada in hand and not break a sweat."  They say "potato", I say "bullshit".  Fortunately, it was a fairly impressive sight once we heaved our broken bodies up the final step, and even more fortunately there was a moderately shady spot for me to sit.  Triple fortunate, and a damn good marketing strategy, there was a shave ice stand at the bottom of the crater.

We rewarded ourselves with a long afternoon at the beach across the street from our hotel, and that night had the great fortune of meeting up with a longtime "internet friend", Mandy, and her husband.  We met at the Outrigger Waikiki for dinner at the Hula Grill, then wedged ourselves into Duke's for an after-dinner drink.  It was so much fun to meet someone that I've felt so close to over the years without ever having actually met and have her turn out to be just as awesome in person as she is online.  I could have happily sucked down another couple of daiquiris, but we were all clearly wiped out by 9:30 and my stomach was already tying itself up in knots at the thought of our next morning's adventure...

Comments

[Becky aka StinkyLemsky]

Looking forward to reading about your next adventure & glad you made it to Duke's! I went to the one on Kauai and the food there was Dee-ee-elicious, but drinks count too, of course! :)

[Old Warrior]

A few personal experiences of Oahu from my various Air Force transits over the years:

- Waikiki beach is man-made! Pumped in sand with mud only a few inches below the sand out in the water. Even the first time in 1970 (with about 1/3 the population) I was surprised at how small and crowded it was. However, you could park at a meter on the beach road.

- I lost water injection (30% of the total thrust) on a KC-135 east runway max weight takeoff from Hickam in July 1972. Unable to climb until enough weight got burned off, I had to continue straight ahead to avoid losing lift and hitting the ground - the runway bearing is right across Waikiki Beach direct at Diamond Head. I slipped in just enough right bank to miss Diamond Head and passed about a hundred yards out in the water from the Waikiki tourists at about 50 feet above the wave tops. Quite an image to have in mind next time you're there floating on the waves enjoying the sun.

- My first instructor pilot came back from the Pacific after WWIIand spent a week at Hickam. He thought that Waikiki was pretty and UNDEVELOPED, so he used his saved up pay and some Poker winnings to buy a couple of acres fronting on the beach. After he sold it in the 60's he continued flying for the Air Force for fun. His sale price was cash plus a free beach view Penthouse apartment at the top of the building.

- Some people buy shoes and some people buy property

[The Incubator]

It sounds like your crappy rental PT Cruiser was as "nice" as our crappy rental Dodge Caliber.

[katelin]

as much fun as i had in oahu, i totally agree that it is so touristy. i totally love kauai more, so serene and less people and awesome all around. and ummmm love your pics can i please go to hawaii again now please!? :)

[Becky]

I think I told you before that I'm not a fan of Waikiki either, so I'm hoping you got to make it to some of the more remote areas of Oahu -- but no where near as relaxing as the outer islands. Sorry about telling you Diamond Head was easy -- I just don't remember it being that difficult and I know you're in way better shape than me (that's not to say I didn't sweat though!).

[E.P.]

I've never been to Hawaii before, but I can understand how touristy it is. I'd love to check out any of the islands, though, and seeing your photos and everything y'all did makes me want to go even more!

[Mandy]

For those wanting to "get away to serene Kauai," I would recommend doing it soon. A lot of land has been rezoned to allow more development and there's going to be a lot of "building up" in the next several years... My family has had many discussions regarding development and how visitors build up their expectations of what "Hawaii should be like" based on WWII movies and the Visitors' Bureau's propaganda stream.

Ang, I'm dying to hear how your day in Kailua went!!! (BTW, I "did" Diamond Head with an old college roommate when E was 4 and ended up piggy backing him most of the way.)

And I've been contemplating selling my VA house to buy a condo in Waikiki for a long time. Can't even TOUCH a decent property there!

[Larissa]

Oahu has its likable qualities, but I personally like the other islands more. I'm from Maui, so naturally I think it is the best. Kauai comes in close second.