So, I have two enormous fears: rejection and heights. I know they're not terribly original, but there you have it. This weekend I had to deal with both, with varying degrees of success.
I think I've talked before about how much I enjoy planning parties and hosting them, but hate the part about inviting people because I am always convinced that no one will show up. In the past couple of years, I've forced myself to get over this and was even brave enough to plan my own birthday party, which falls over the Christmas holidays meaning that generally speaking no one EVER shows up. I was just starting to get over this fear, when this weekend happened. A few weeks ago, I went to a jewelry party and had such a good time I decided to host one at my house and invite all of my girlfriends over for a ladies night. *Cue ominous foreshadowy music*
I've managed to collect a respectable amount of lovely friends and quickly set to work notifying them of the event and sent out invitations early so there would be lots of notice. I invited nineteen girls. Of those nineteen invited FIVE SHOWED UP. Bless them, Becky brought three of her friends and another friend brought her teenage daughter, so it wasn't a ghost town, but still, it was a little mortifying when I'm assuring my jewelry party host that eleven people RSVP'd yes and were probably bringing friends and 30 minutes into the party only three people are sitting around listening to the crickets chirping.
And I swear, I'm not angry at my friends. I know things happen. Four girls were out of town, one is pregnant and had a back ache so bad she couldn't walk, one totally forgot (it happens), one's husband was leaving for a deployment the next day and she wanted to be with him for his last night home, one was getting her house prepared for an upcoming open house, one was running a marathon that morning and so on in that same vein. Point being, everyone who couldn't make it had an excellent reason, it was just... Ugh, I half expected to look down and realize that I'd forgotten to put on pants, it was that nightmarish.
Fortunately, I did manage to have a good time with the ladies who could make it, and I don't regret having the party. It'll just take me a while to psych myself up for trying it again. And probably some therapy. And a drug cocktail of some sort.
Then on Sunday, I gave in to Colby's request to go hiking at Mt. Rainier, mainly because he always so sweetly goes along with everything I want to do without (much) complaint. What he didn't tell me was that the hike was nearly two miles of VERTICAL paths, many of which overlooked vast drops into space at the bottom of which a rushing river would collect any hapless, trip-happy victims. And then, to really make it as horrific as possible, portions of the most treacherous passages were covered in slippery, not-fully-solid-all-the-way-through, banks of snow. SNOW!! In late JUNE!! Under the beating sun!
Our end-goal was Comet Falls, but in order to get to the falls I would have had to cross a snow bridge, covering a trail that was, I shit you not, about a foot wide with no margin of error to the left and nothing to hold on to on the right. Colby asked me if I would consider crossing it if I had a big stick and I laughed in his face. Then I started crying when I realized I would have to get back down the snowy slope we had just climbed and witnessed four hikers with sturdy walking sticks and sensible hiking shoes nearly plummet to their deaths.

That is my idea of a Weekend from Hell. The two fears you named are definitely in my top five.
Posted by: Fraulein N | June 29, 2009 at 08:46 PM
Ang,
You poor thing! What a tragedy! I was just like you with the party thing and I don't think I ever had a party until I was about 30 and had a superbowl party. People actually showed up and talked about it later as being fun but I think it had to do with the alcohol as much as anything.
It sounds like a great hike... for someone like me... I'm sorry you had to endure but being the Colby one in our relationship, we do appreciate your trying it! :)
hugs,
anne
Posted by: Anne | June 29, 2009 at 11:21 PM
Angela,
Well, I thought it was a LOVELY party. Very fun and classy. And I think the size was perfect too. I dub it a smashing success :)
Carolyn
Posted by: Carolyn | June 30, 2009 at 12:02 AM
I have the same fear when it comes to planning parties. And I've had the same thing happen when no one shows up. A Tupperware party was one, my birthday was another (1 person was going to show up to that, and I decided to blow it off because of the low turnout!)
I'm sure it's just a fluke, but you're totally not alone!
Posted by: A Super Girl | June 30, 2009 at 01:50 AM
i always worry about parties too, it's fun to throw them i just always worry about people showing up. and i've definitely had the minimal show up before, not fun, but hey it happens right?
and um you'd have to pay me to hike up vertical paths. no thank you.
Posted by: katelin | June 30, 2009 at 01:54 AM
awwww. you are a better person than I am, I get secretly upset when people dont show up to my events.
Posted by: la petite belle | June 30, 2009 at 01:55 PM
I am so with you on the height thing. Rob keeps telling me of the zip line he wants to do on our beach vacation sometimes in the near future, and I keep fringing at the thought of that and/or parasailing. I prefer ground, ground is my favorite! :)
Posted by: Jass | June 30, 2009 at 02:59 PM
So it looks like my post disappeared lol. But I meant to say cringe, instead of fringe. haha
Posted by: Jass | June 30, 2009 at 03:01 PM
I have the same fear with parties, so I usually keep anything I host to a small group, since people seem more obligated to show up for dinner than parties. And I always make an effort to go to things that I've RSVP'd too, unless I get sick (which I just realized is what happened with your tea party -- crap!).
I'm so sorry that we were so late on Sat -- I had a feeling that was happening when you sent the text -- we just got a bit of a late start waiting for the girls to show up and then Ted came home and then we took wrong turns. But, we had a good time and it was great to see you again. If you're ever up here and want to get together, let me know!
Posted by: Becky | June 30, 2009 at 07:28 PM
I would totally be frustrated if I were in your shoes with the jewelry party! It drives me NUTS when people say yes and something "comes up" and they can't make it. Mostly because those things that "come up" could have been predicted half the time. If you know you're selling your house, don't tell someone you are definitely going to attend a function! The same thing happened with me this weekend when I MOVED. I had six people tell me they couldn't make it, four of which were going to be out of town. How do you not know you're going to be out of town on family vacations?!
But, I do think that happens to everyone, so it's not you at all!
Posted by: Annie | June 30, 2009 at 07:31 PM
that is one of my biggest fears too! i hate when people say that they are going to do something and then don't show up/let you know they aren't coming :(
Posted by: ria | June 30, 2009 at 10:44 PM
I totally thought I was a good wife for going golfing but whoa - you win, sister! :)
Posted by: janet | July 01, 2009 at 05:30 AM
Oh, my gosh, the heights--that description of snow bridge totally had me nauseated.
As for the home parties, yeah, I'm doing one of those in a couple weeks and am worried no one will show up, either. Maybe if I promise them drinks?
Posted by: Kate P | July 01, 2009 at 06:49 AM
I can totally relate to you with the party issue. I have stopped trying, since I never have much success with the parties I plan or the parties that others plan for me. Maybe one day I will gather up the nerve to try again.
Posted by: Melissa B | July 06, 2009 at 09:30 PM