Resigning From Life

BLEEEAAAAARRRRRGHHHHH!!!!!!

I quit.  Consider this my two week notice.  I am turning in my resignation letter to the Department of Living Amongst Society and moving to a hut on the beach in an as yet undiscovered island.  I'm not leaving a forwarding address.  I go alone.  Don't come looking for me, because I am DONE.

I don't want to clean up after a destructive dog who will pull items out of thin air if there are none within reach that he can rip to shreds in my absence and then prance about proudly when I return home.  I don't want to clean the bathroom, wash the dishes, do the laundry, vacuum the floor only to have to do it again in what seems like mere hours.

I don't want to be a law abiding citizen, vote in elections, throw my garbage in the trash can, give money to causes that need it more than I do, and be a generally good person, only to be given a $340 ticket for not registering my car in the state of Washington, when I had no clue that I was supposed to.  I'm not registered to vote here, I don't claim residency here, I'm a military nomad and I'm sorry you Office-Space-Boss-Looking-Asshole Cop, I have never been made aware of this rule.  I'm not claiming that ignorance of the law is the perfect excuse, but how easy would it have been to have given a friendly warning and gone about your day?  You can take your, "Have a nice day, ma'am," and shove it up your power-tripping, quota-filling rear end.

I'm tired of being tired.  I'm sick of exhausted kids who treat me and each other like crap and make me dread the day I see two lines on a pregnancy test.  I'm flummoxed by my suddenly shitty gas mileage that makes me suspect a gremlin is sneaking into my garage at night and siphoning the gasoline out of my car.  I wish the damn cd player in my car would stop overheating and spitting cds out at me with a snotty "Check CD" message on the display every time I try to listen to something other than our lame radio stations.

I'm so over feeling negative.  I want the fucking sun to shine.  I want to wake up and feel excited about another day.  I'm sick of being a single wife.  I'm worn down from the constant stream of "what ifs" running circles around my brain about where we're going to live this time next year, how we'll sell our house without losing our shirts, whether or not we'll be able to get another mortgage, and what furniture or precious family mementos will be destroyed in the move.

I'm just so ready to check out.

But I can't quit.  This is my life.

As shitty as it makes me feel sometimes.  I love my retarded dogs.  This job is the first one I've ever had where I feel like maybe I'm making a difference.  I know I need to just suck it up and have a little faith that God won't dish out more than we can take.  The military infuriates me on a daily basis, but it has also been very good to us over the years.  As for the cop and the ticket situation... well, I tried, but I can't find the silver lining there.

I just want to escape from it all.  But then I guess everyone does, and we just keep riding this completely absurd roller coaster of life.  In the meantime, thank you Jesus for wine, carefully cultivated savings accounts, Gossip Girl, and giant, liquid puppy dog eyes that just won't allow you to stay angry for too long.

But I'd still rather be in Capri.

Comments

[shani]

Can I claim residence on your undiscovered island too?

[Shelley]

AMEN sister!!!! Maybe you shouldn't call me just yet, I feel the same way about life right now, so I won't be able to cheer you up! I guess when we do talk we can keep it real and commiserate (sp?). I had one of those days too. Remember in Father of the Bride when steve martin is freaking out over hotdog buns? He says something to the effect of: 'everyones lives whose lives are going great, take one step forward...not so fast george banks'. Well, I feel like george banks!!!! I love you, and of course, it is going to get better, oneday!!

[Steph.]

Should we book a trip then? I'm needing a little escape from reality myself these days. Ha! I feel your pain--hang in there!

[Jay]

Just look at these times a down payment on future happiness. Because how can we really define what is happy without it somehow being relative to all those other, more annoying emotions?

Then again all you probably want to hear is that everything is going to be OK. Which it will, by the way.

[Jass]

I thought I was the only one feeling this way. Some days are great, and some days I just want to curl up in bed or take a trip somewhere far, far away! I've been looking into a long vacation in the Mexico region but only to be told that I should be extra careful if I go in case a drug cartel decides to come into my resort and either kidnap me or kill me. Ugh!!!!!!!! So much for getting away.

Well I hope both of our lives get better. I know it will, but I am impatient like you and want it all now. Thankyouverymuch!

Hugs!!!

[Brittany]

Eh, Capris ain't so great. Plus, you'd miss the poochies. Love you!

[Katie]

I'd send some San Diego sun, but Capri stole it.

I haven't registered my car in CA, huh. I actually got a ticket in Arkansas for registration, but it was my own dumb fault. And its also the reason I got in the car wreck (different car though). I think they should stop with that requirement. Call Obama.

Good for you on the silver lining.
Mine tarnished.

[E.P.]

Amen! I'd rather be in Capri, too.

[La Petite Chic]

Oh, hon, I am right there with you. Just keep repeating, "Tomorrow is another day..." Hugs.

[Becky]

I'll join you in Capri as well. Ted and I are so hoping to have some time to get away some where before I start a new job...somewhere warmer and with some sun. I like Jay's advice, though, on this time being a down payment for the good ones to come.

[tasterspoon]

Ugh, I've had those days, those weeks even, when I just want to run away and start fresh as somebody else.

Maybe you could stalk the cop and put a banana in his tailpipe.

[Operation Pink Herring]

Amen.

[RisibleGirl]

When you figure out how to do that (resign from your current life), let me know. It seems that we are usually on the same cycle (not THAT cycle, for pete's sake).

Cycle is the word of the day. Because we know it's just a cycle in our life, we know we'll also have the good stuff.

I think that's gonna happen for both of us. xoxoxo

You can tell when I'm in that cycle because I quit visiting my friend's blogs (no matter HOW much I care about them!)

[Mandy]

Hey, just had to laugh because this was how I felt earlier in the week. :) Wedding stress.

Speaking of which, I need help deciding between two dresses. Come distract yourself for a few minutes and give me your thoughts. :)

[La Petite Belle]

awww, I hope it gets better!