The Enforcer

I've been working in my new(ish) job as director of a before and after school care site for close to three months now.  Almost as long as I worked as an assistant at my old site.  That is just absolutely crazy to think about.  Could someone please do something about how quickly time is passing?  It's freaking me out.

I loved my old job.  LOVED IT.  The kids were awesome, the site was really perfect for our needs, I really and truly enjoyed going to work every day.  This new job... I don't hate it.  It's just so much freaking harder.  My site is notorious for having some of the most poorly behaved kids in our entire pool of childcare sites.  They are disrespectful, not only to staff, but to each other.  They are physically and emotionally aggressive.  They had absolutely no structure or rules before I was hired.  They aren't bad kids, but they have been running absolutely wild and it's been a struggle every single day to get them under control.

It's difficult for me, because I enjoy relating to kids.  I think they're amazing little things and I love talking to them and playing with them.  As an assistant, that was my job.  From time to time I might have to throw out a little discipline, but since the kids were already firmly under control and the site director did most of the reprimanding, I was free to just have fun with them.  And they loved me.  They would run screaming at me when I got to work and at times there were actual tears shed when I would leave early.  When I left to take on my new position, I was truly heartbroken to leave those kids behind.

As a director, I am now the one doling out the discipline.  My assistant is a great girl, but she's only eighteen and sometimes it seems like she's just as wild as the kids.  Of course, they adore her because not only has she been around longer than I have, but she isn't the one doing the punishing and the lecturing.  I know that it's not my job to be a friend to these kids, it's my job to keep them safe until their parents can come get them and hopefully teach them a little something about values and manners along the way, and of course to form a bond with them, but it's a very different relationship now than it was before.

Things have gotten better--the site is much more organized now, kids are starting to follow rules before I have to remind them for the tenth time per day, parents are warming up to me a bit more, and I know that the kids have accepted me and respect me for the most part.  But there are still days when my fuse is short and the day has been long, and I think how much  easier the road would have been if I had stayed on in my previous position.  I know this is great training for when I'm in a classroom and am expected to manage a class for 6 hours a day, and I don't regret accepting the promotion at all. 

But sometimes, I just want to be the cool one again.

Comments

[ashley]

Ooh, that's tough.

Although, not to be annoying, this is probably good practice for being a teacher. It's just so hard to be their friend AND enforce discipline.

My aunt collapsed helplessly into giggles the first time she had to discipline a child as a second grade teacher.

I miss relating to kids. It's so so natural to me. (Which is weird, because I've always been "old" for my age. Like, too mature, even.)

[Becky]

I used to struggle with that a lot when I was a substitute teacher. I wanted to be "cool" and nice, but the kids eventually just walk all over you. I really had to learn how to draw the line and not need everyone to like me!

[Jay]

Nothing like a good old fashioned beating to keep those little ones in line!

[Anne]

Welcome to being a parent. ;)

[Becky]

Sounds like it's also great prep for being a parent :) I can somewhat relate in that I feel like a lot of my job is making sure others do their job and don't slack off. Granted, it's not the same as making sure kids don't beat each other up, but it's that same "hard ass" kind of role. It sounds like what you're doing is working, though, and that is something to be proud of!

[Fraulein N]

Aww. On a positive note, it sounds like you really know what you're doing if you can see changes for the better in only three months.

[A Super Girl]

3 Months? Seriously? No shit about the passage of time. Seems just yesterday you were struggling with whether to take the job!

You're right though, this is good training. And the fact that things are getting better all around has to be a testament to your ability to do your job well!

[Old Warrior]

Something sounds familiar in this tale of gaining discipline and control. Remember the Miss Manners rules for raising excruciatingly perfect children:

1. Set a good example
2. Constant nagging

Time consuming and sometime frustrating but apparently it works. You turned out "excruciatingly perfect."

[LK]

Aww . . . I know how you feel. Before I married D, I was the fun mom-to-be. Once we got married and I actually had to BE a mom, things got infinitely harder at a break-neck speed. It's not so different here, except that you probably don't LOVE love your kids. Which makes it harder. I feel for you.

On the upside, you're doing both the kids and the parents, not to mention future society, a GREAT service by providing boundaries and enforcing them. For that, I'm eternally grateful.

[La Petite Chic]

Aww, hon, it sounds like a tough situation and it must be even harder since you were the one the kids had fun with at your old site. Just try to remember that the parents probably appreciate you so much because you are keeping their kids safe and disciplined!

[Risiblegirl]

I guess this is good practice for when you're a parent. Or better, a warning.

I've been watching "it's me or the dog" and it's great to show me what could happen if I don't stay firm with the discipline.

I guess you could use the same concept, eh?

Sorry I haven't been around for a while. Between the face trauma and the puppy, well...