Resolute(ish)

Every year I claim that I'm not really one for New Year's resolutions, and then every year I find myself making New Year's resolutions.  I think it's a hold over, knee-jerk statement from back in the days when I really didn't make resolutions.  When life seemed like an endless road, full of possibilities stretching out before me.  When I didn't put so much thought and effort into living, and just lived.  Every year that passes, every birthday I celebrate, I feel those possibilities slipping away and the frightening finiteness of life becomes a little more real.

I know that I'm still young, that life is far from over and every day is another opportunity to do something great, but I have reached the age where I have realized that if you do want to "be anything you want to be", you have to work at it.  If you're lucky, opportunity knocks, but it's far more likely that you'll have to hunt it down with a tranquilizer gun, tackle it, and hold on for dear life.

So, anyway, all of this to say, I made some resolutions centered around becoming a better person, both in mind and body, and I'm resigned to the fact that I apparently am a New Year's resolution kind of gal.

"A man is but the product of his thoughts, what he thinks, he becomes." ~Mahatma Ghandi

1) Reading: In continuation of my somewhat belated resolution last year, I'm going to try going another year without reading any "chick lit".  I think I did a decent job cutting the genre from my reading list in 2008, with just a few journeys back into fluff territory, and I was surprised to find that I really didn't miss it and the few that I did read felt a little empty and formulaic to me.  I'm not knocking a good Sophie Kinsella or Jane Green when you need to give your mind a break, but I feel much more inspired and moved when I'm reading books with a little more heft to them.  I've always kept a list going in my sidebar of the books that I've read recently (a list that has been woefully out of date lately), but I've also started a new page (found in "Bonus Features" under my profile picture to the left) tracking the books I've read in 2009, along with a little personal review.

2) Writing: In short: Write more.  I suffer from a strange malady in which I lay awake nights thinking up stories and plot twists, characters and intriguing themes, then I sit down to write them all out and am completely blocked.  From what I understand, the only way through writers block is to just keep writing, even if it's complete crap (which is not to say that everything I write isn't complete crap--I am incapable of judging for myself).  My resolution for this year is to write at least one short story that I deem worthy of submission to various literary contests and journals and to write at least fifteen pages per week of the ongoing trainwreck with the working title, Gemini.  A subresolution would be to come up with a less cringe-inducing title.

"Health is not valued until sickness comes." ~Thomas Fuller

3) Eating: After spending the vast majority of this winter wishing I could either die or trade in my nose/throat/stomach/head, I have realized that both Colby and my mother are right: I eat like crap.  And I think it's safe to assume that my steady diet of candy, cheese, starches, and cereal is having a less than healthful effect on my body.  I don't expect my diet to magically change overnight, but I am going to make a real effort to eat better.  Here are my goals:

• Pizza no more than once a month
• Eat at least two servings of a fruit or vegetable every day
• Drink at least 3 large glasses of water every day
• Take a multivitamin every day
• Dessert no more than twice a week (and YES, Angela, that does include breakfast items from Starbucks)

4) Exercise: Did you know that I bought the 30 Day Shred on October 19th?  Do you want to know how I feel about it or how well it worked for me?  Well, I don't know, because I haven't so much as OPENED it.  Funny thing these workout DVDs.  You actually have to DO them for them to be effective.  Oh, and that elliptical machine sitting up in our loft?  Haven't been on it since before Colby got home from his deployment.  More than two months ago.  So, yeah, safe to say there is plenty of room for improvement here.  Improvement along the lines of doing at least thirty minutes of cardio three times a week and completing the 30 Shred by the end of February?  Yeah, I think that would do it.

So, those are my goals for 2009.  I feel like there's a certain amount of effort involved in all of them, but none of them are completely unrealistic or a set up for failure, so I hope that by the time 2010 rolls around (oh my God, that looks crazy!) I'll be able to look back on this post without feeling completely defeated.  What about you?  Did you make any resolutions this year?

(Oh!  And in case you haven't seen my tweets or Facebook--no, my house did NOT flood and I was back home by about 4 o'clock the next morning.  Thanks for your good wishes!)

Comments

[Girl, Dislocated]

The sense of finiteness recently hit me as well, but rather than inspire me to make changes and "do" things, it has been paralyzing. So, after reading your post, I considered stealing some of your resolutions. Then I got to the one about food.

And decided that you're out of your freaking mind!!!

Two desserts in 7 days??? Surely you meant 7 HOURS, right?!

[Tova Darling]

Number one on your list is really interesting! I love reading the classics, but the "fluff" is sometimes a good way for me to unwind. But maybe your idea is a better way to expand my mind. After all, I have Desperate Housewives for when I need to unwind. :)

I like your blog!

[Becky]

I missed your update on Facebook, so glad to hear that your house didn't flood! I can relate to just about everything on your list. I don't think I eat worse than most people, but I seem to have a harder time with balancing my weight, so I HAVE to get more exercise in.

[LK]

What a good list! I usually make resolutions every year, and this is the first time I haven't done it. To be honest, it's like this HUGE relief to not make goals that I'm pretty much not going to keep :-)

[ashley.]

I could hug you, Ang.

Seriously.

I am so the "I don't DOO resolutions, if I want to improve my life, I don't wait until January 1st to do so!" kind of girl.

And I'm slowly realizing that, in fact, I just don't set goals.

Period.

Anytime.

So telling myself that is COMPLETELE and UTTER crap.

I think I will make some goals/resoluations this week.

Thanks!

[Jay]

Good luck with these... you're right that none are unrealistic, but it's going to be tough making so many changes at one time. Stay strong, and splurge when you need to!

[Becky]

I'm so hot and cold with my writing that I consider giving up my blog on at least a weekly basis! I am trying to hang in there though because I know my in-laws in Ohio really enjoy reading about what's going on here in Missouri. :)

[katelin]

woo for reading more this year. i'm definitely trying to do the same thing and up my count. love it!

[Hillary]

Wait a minute! Cheese at every meal isn't good for you?

Your blog has convinced me to make a resolution. I have not figured it out yet, and I can only hope that it involves watching more TV.

thanks for the inspiration.

[Jessica]

These are all good resolutions or goals to try and live by. Especially the reading one. I'm awful at it.

[simplypink]

A year without chick lit? I could probably never do it. :) Since my Twilight series speed read, I've read very little. Well that's not counting The Tale of Despereaux. (job hazard-just wait!)

[E.P.]

Good for you! I'm excited about the books and writing for you, and I cannot wait to hear more about them. Especially the writing.

Also, the 30 Day Shred? I bought it last week, and I'm already seeing a difference. Do it! It's kind of fun, and minus the feeling like I'm going to die around the 9-minute point of the workout, I enjoy it. And it's making a difference!

[tasterspoon]

Would it be cheating if you WROTE a Chick Lit novel? Since you already know it's formulaic, maybe having one of those going on the side would unblock you for your other writing, you know, like a warmup.

Your intro totally encapsulates how I feel about how you have to Take Charge of Your Life as you get older. I have a USNA T-shirt of my brother's that says, "Destiny is not a matter of chance. It is a matter of choice." But secretly that idea overwhelms me. I have a bad coasting habit.

Way to motivate!

[deutlich]

I *so* wish I would stick my exercise routine.. it's the one thing I am worst at.

[Melissa]

Reading through your goals, I found myself completely nodding along for almost everything. Except one. I don't think there will EVER be a month where I can only eat pizza ONE TIME.
Best of luck to ya =)