Freakin' Brrr

Dear Winter,

I'm writing to you in regard to the recent chilly temperatures that have spanned these United States for the past few months.  You see, when I first moved to the Seattle area, I was assured that it was really quite temperate and that the winters weren't too bad.  And of course, to make up for the dreariness that envelops the region from October through March, the summers were absolutely magnificent.  I suppose when I compare the winter weather here to that of say, Fargo, North Dakota, no the winters aren't that terrible.  However, for this southern girl who has been conditioned to begin shivering once temperatures dip below 65 degrees, Washington winters are indeed miserable.  And the summers?  Honestly, they just barely miss being categorized as Spring: The Sequel.

It doesn't help that I was also assured that it practically never snows here, a fact that I am beginning to doubt after spending two winters dealing with snow and ice on the roads in a county that has approximately zero concept of how to deal with such hazards.  And as if ice on the road isn't bad enough, now I have to scrape ice off of a giant 15 passenger bus every morning--and not just on the outside of the windshield.  Oh, no, that would be silly!  The ice coats the inside of the windshield and windows as well.  It's really an interesting discovery when you realize that the reason you just can't scrape that damn ice off of the windshield is because it is INSIDE the windshield.  High-larious!

So, here's the thing, Winter.  I think it would be best for both of us if you would just go ahead and leave now.  This is clearly an unhealthy relationship, and I don't see it getting any better any time soon.  We both just have different interests--you enjoy coating the world in frost and black ice and I just really want to bitch and moan about how hot it is outside.  I really thought that things would be different for us.  When I was a little girl, I dreamed of white Christmases and being able to bundle up in scarves and mittens without breaking a sweat, but I guess I didn't know what I really wanted.  And what I want is just not you.

Know that there are plenty of people out there in the world who are happy to have you in their lives.  People who think I'm crazy to let you go, and would give anything to trade places with me and experience your dismal grey days and constant blustery winds.  So, go to them.  Be well.  I can't say that I'll miss you, but maybe someday, when things are getting a little stale between Summer and I, we can rendezvous for an illicit (and brief) tryst beneath the clouds.

No longer yours,

Comments

[Shani]

Ha! Sounds like it's time for you to move...to Cali!!! Get Colby's boss on the phone, I'll talk to him myself.

[Miriam]

Yes, yes, a thousand times yes. Winter be gone! :)

[Jay]

Could you please sign my name to this letter as well? Except maybe change the salutation to "While you sleep motherfucker,".

[Becky]

Hehe. I know this probably doesn't help, but I do think that the weather has gotten worse each winter I've been here -- or at least more of these "catastrophic" events wit the snow/rain. Part of it is b/c you live outside the main city, so you get far more crap down there than we do in the downtown area.

[ashley]

So. I recently wrote that post about winter, not sure if you saw it.

I like this much better. Because in all honesty? I effing HATE winter. Like, a lot. I'm so sick of it. I want to cry. I want to whine. I want to wear flip flops and tshirts.

Maybe being near my family isn't worth winter.

[wordnerd]

If I were a really mean person, I'd tell you that I ran errands on my lunch hour with the sunroof open. You know, to allow the fresh air, sunshine, and 66 degree temp in. But I'm not. So I won't.

(You could always come home... :) )

[Operation Pink Herring]

Amen.

[Jenn]

Whatever you do, please don't send it here!

[Melissa]

Nice. I couldn't agree more. Goodbye winter. Hello April? Let's work together to make this happen. We're due for up to 6 inches of snow on Wed PLUS a 100% chance of an additional wintery mix throughout the next day. Ugh. Tahiti, I hear you calling our names.

[The Incubator]

I think this is the part where I say, "I told you so!"

[katelin]

i'm quite ready for spring. yeah spring sounds nice :)

[Jessica]

I want to break up with winter too. We're so on a time out.

[Anne]

I'm with you! Goodbye winter, I'm going on strike!

And also, the summers don't really warrant that title either. I completely agree. I miss those days where you don't even have to where a light jacket to get by.Oh, I miss my convertible too.

Anne

[PrincessExtraordinaire]

Okay - you definitely need to get away to a nice tropical place for a vaca....my step daughters live in Seattle and I know how freaking-freezing it can get!