Finally, a place I can dish!

Hi, I'm Lori AKA RisibleGirl, Angela's pretend Internet mommy. It's not official, but in my world- nothing is. She's picked a great bunch of people to guest post for her. They've all done a great job so far. ::claps::

OK, down to business...  Oh, this is so FREEING! A place where I can write about my secret world- reality TV. I’m 48 years old and really shouldn’t be interested in these sorts of things, but I’m nosy by nature, so reality TV is right up my alley.

I dare not post this stuff on my blog because, well, my husband thinks that reality TV is tacky. I’d hate for him to read my blog upon my demise and wonder why he was grieving this tacky woman. I’d prefer him to live in the fantasy world in which he firmly believes that he’ll never find someone as classy (and pretty!) as his dearly departed wife.

Thank you Angela, for giving me this opportunity to let it all out.

First on the docket- Big Brother. While I haven’t gone as far as to subscribe to the 24 hour feeds, I am subscribed to blogs that post the low-down from those feeds morning, noon and night. Nirvana!

Natalie- you poor little thing. I see you as a free spirit that has no idea that the things you do are terribly skanky. When you and Chelsia had the lap-dance fiesta I had to cover my eyes. OK- not really, but I would have if I was your mother. Don’t do that again, honey. It’s not becoming.

While we’re on the topic of Natalie- Matt? Run! Run as fast and far as you can. Have you seen Silence of the Lambs? Remember Buffalo Bill and what he was using for fabric? I’d worry about becoming Natalie’s next bikini. ‘Nuff said.

Adam. I’m sure you’re a nice guy. In fact, I really like how empathetic you’ve become- even with James (who grosses me out for entirely different reasons). That said, you just creep me out. Try not to open your eyes so wide, because I’m super worried that one day your eyeballs are going to fall right out of your head.

There is so much more to write about the BB cast, but I don’t want y’all to go blind from this long post. There’s a lot of reality TV stuff I need to get off my chest.

Now on to American Idol. David Cook? You’re my new Chris Daughtry. I hunted down Chris’ band while he was still on Idol and bought one of their garage band CDs. Thanks to iTunes, I don’t have to be such a sleuth. I’ve downloaded all of your songs to my computer so I can listen to them over and over and over..... OK, I’ve only listened to them once- but like that big bag of dark chocolate M&Ms in the cupboard; it’s nice to know that you’re there if I need you.

Lastly, let’s talk about the ‘ladies’ on The Bachelor. I use the term ladies loosely people.  Good grief, their mamas must be wondering where they went wrong.

I’ll admit- Matt is a doll. If I weren’t married- I’d consider going on the show myself. Well, after I lose about 20 years and 20 lbs.

Let’s just imagine that I wasn’t married and decided to go on the Bachelor. Here’s a few of the things I WOULDN’T do:

• Take off my underwear and give it to someone I’d just met. Heck, I wouldn’t give my underwear to anyone or anything except my duet washer.
• Drink so much that I pass out. Not impressive.
• Follow him around like a little puppy. I’d wait until we were married for that.
• Unbutton my blouse and show him the goods after it becomes obvious that I don’t have anything interesting to say. I’d venture to guess that at this point in my life, ANYTHING I have to say is probably more interesting than looking at ‘the goods’. 

Instead, I’d tie him up; throw him in the trunk of my car; take him home and brainwash him into believing that he’s happy being at my beck and call. I’m sure that he and David Cook would become great friends after they finally accept their lot in life.

Oh wait- I think my thought bubble just popped…

Thanks again Angela, for giving me this opportunity to get all of this off my chest. It feels good to finally write about the things that occupy the tacky side of my brain.

In case BJ asks about my TV habits next time we see you and Colby in person, your answer will be, “I heard she only watches PBS and House”.

Comments

[Jass]

LOL Lori!

You cracked me up, thank you! :-)

David Cook is definitely something else! And you are going to have to fight me on that I already put him in the trunk of my car first. ;-) hehe

Shhh don't tell Pumpkin Boy.

[Cozy]

Ooh, love the digs and love the dishing!

Hi Angela when you read this. :)

Can I just say that on AI, BROOKE needs to go home? zzzzzzzzzz

[Caro]

While I've never watched Big Brother and I forgot to add The Bachelor to my DVR playlist - I do agree with you on AI. I am loving David Cook! Though can I just say how much American Idol viewers suck after last night, because I do not believe that Michael Johns should have gone home yet. Lame.

[RisibleGirl]

Caro- I totally agree with you. I was watching it by myself and actually yelled at the TV.

That was a HUGE mistake. I think Michael Johns will be OK though- I suspect he has a huge career waiting for him.

[e]

Would you believe Michael Johns' departure actually made the news over here! Never heard of him before. He's very good!

[Mandy]

Hi Lori! (And Ang, Caro, and E)

I am also loving David Cook even though the dude seriously needs to get a tan. I've about had it with what's her name Kristy Lee whatever though. The girl is so boring! Michael Johns will probably be ok, but he was never in the running to win the thing. JMHO.