My Dream Job List

An unfulfilled vocation drains the color from a man's entire existence.
~Honore de Balzac, "Scenes de la vie Parisienne," La Maison Nucingen, 1838

My level of stress about leaving my job has now begun manifesting itself in snappish remarks to anyone who dares speak to me and a constant eyelid twitch.  I'm like Popeye with severe rage issues.  Additionally, according to WebMD, I'm going blind from staring at the computer 24/7. 

Many years ago, when I was a charming young naif, I dreamed of the day that I would be sitting behind a computer, muttering sarcastic comments under my breath while my eyelid fluttered uncontrollably.  And just look at me today!  Living the dream, people!  Living the dream.

I've been thinking a lot about my childhood dreams lately, and just how far short of the mark I'm hitting on a daily basis.  In all fairness to myself, the vast majority of my childhood dreams were ridiculous.  And so, to make myself feel better about continuously failing meet my own expectations, I'll share those more far fetched dreams with you today.

Ballerina

Oh, how I wanted to be a ballerina.  I began taking ballet classes long before I can even remember, and I so loved the beautiful costumes and ballet slippers that the older girls wore.  I can remember sitting, hunched against the wall, watching the girls practicing en pointe, dreaming of the day that I would be just like them.  When I was in 5th grade, our wonderful teacher left our school, and she was replaced by a woman who would sit on our backs to "help" us with our splits.  It was around this time that I began to realize that becoming a ballerina would take a great deal of practice and require eating far fewer Cheetos than I would have liked.  At nine years old, I hung up my ballet shoes for good.

Psychiatrist

I'm honestly not sure what sparked my obsession with psychiatry, but this dream lasted from 7th grade through early 9th.  At some point along the way I discovered that if I really wanted to become a psychiatrist, I would have to go to medical school, and that didn't seem like so much fun.  Then I found out that a psychology degree required a statistics course.  NEXT!

FBI Agent

Mostly I just wanted to marry David Duchovny.  Once I started to figure out that television shows are not real, and I would never be able to help Mulder track down creepy aliens, I kicked this idea to the curb.  But not before I read up a great deal on FBI application procedures.  Did you know you have to learn how to fire an actual weapon?  Scary!  So, you know, then I joined the Air Force.  No guns there, thank goodness!

Cupcake Shop Owner

This one still sounds kind of fun sometimes for two reasons.  1) Cupcakes are delicious.  2) Frosting is delicious.  But then I remember that I would have to make the cupcakes every day, probably quite early in the morning.  Also, it would be beneficial to me to work rather long hours with the end goal of not going out of business.  Neither one of those things sound very enjoyable, so instead I just frequent other people's cupcake shops.  It's win-win I think.

Astronaut

I went through a period of intense obsession with all things NASA related in elementary school.  It was sparked by a classroom exercise of writing a letter to an astronaut to tell them about ourselves.  I wrote my letter to Bonnie Dunbar, and was thrilled when I received a letter back from her (read: NASA's PR department) along with some glossy 8x10s of her headshot and their crew group photo.  I was entranced and spent the next year begging my parents to buy a telescope (which I seem to remember they did do, but it disappeared shortly thereafter) and reading books and magazines about the stars.  Then I saw Apollo 13.  Dude, nobody told me you could get STUCK out there in space.  Screw that.

So please, make me feel better about myself.  Are you living your childhood dreams, or would your nine-year-old self arch an eyebrow, curl their lip and swear they'd never turn out like you?

Comments

[katelin]

If it makes you feel any better I'm nowhere near my childhood dreams either, haha. I wanted to be an actress or an artist or a dolphin trainer at Sea World. Sadly all of those fell through, haha. Luckily I am working in a field that I love, so it's a step in the right direction.

I hope the job stress winds down a bit and you can find something you truly love! Good luck!

[Curlysue]

Oh gosh, nope, I am not living my childhood dream. What was mine? To be a backup dancer for Janet Jackson. lol I have loved to dance since I can remember and even at the age of 3 I was standing in the booth at Taco Hut wiggling around to Love Me Do by the Beatles. I have never had formal training but I can definately move---why didn't I ever look into anything?! Now of course Janet has gone more sexual and I'm older, but thank god Mom didn't let me watch her NOW. :o

[Kateastrophe]

Do we work at the same place right now and I just don't know it?? My eyes twitch JUST like that!

I always wanted to be a Broadway star. I even majored in Musical Theatre in college. And then the reality that 1% of 1% of actors/singers actually have a job and I sulked off to my computer . . . to twitch.

[Michelle & the City]

who wouldn't want to be a cupcake owner?!

[Michelle & the City]

i meant shop. whoops. i'll be co-owner!

[shani]

My childhood dreams seemed to have a lot to do with whatever movie I'd just seen, or book I'd just read. I read Jurassic Park, wanted to be a paleontologist. Saw Sleepless in Seattle, wanted to be a journalist. Read Apollo 13, wanted to be an astronaut. Saw Pocahontas, wanted to be an Indian. Like that's a job. The closest I'd get would be the It's a Small World ride at Disney World.

[Tipp]

My nine year old self would be screaming "what in the world is going on?! Where did you go wrong? Do you remember anything about being a kid and the dreams you craved and dreamt for yourself?"

My former self would be very ticked at me. I am about to change all of that hopefully. I swear it is like we were seperated at birth.

[tia]

i wanted to be a ballerina SO BAD. but i have low arches in my feet. =(

when i was little i also used to want to be a veterinarian. but then i realized that you had to operate and stuff on the animals, and i didn't want to do that. i just wanted to play with kitties and puppies all day.

[Cat]

I was going to be Tom Cruise's wife. I'm actually quite o.k. with the fact that Katie beat me to that one.

I was also going to be the first female president of the United States. Hence, my well-rounded rationale for voting for Obama next year. There'd still be a chance....

That, or a children's book illustrator. Although apparently it turns out you need some sort of artistic talent for that. Who knew?

[TasterSpoon]

Oh, remember the movie Space Camp? I wanted to go to Space Camp so bad. I got the brochure and filled out the application and everything. And it was like, What? You're in Alabama? The Space Shuttle isn't right next door? Also, I didn't have a photographic memory like that blonde chick in the movie so I assumed they wouldn't accept me.

And I wanted to be an archeologist and use those tiny brushes to clean things off. Until I learned you're just piecing together thousands clay pots that got thrown on the garbage heap 3,000 years ago and are now in a bazillion intermingled shards. Bo-ring.

I also wanted to work in the food industry, but the hours supersuck. I think in 30 years I will open a B&B in Tuscany. Scout locales for me, k?

[Erin]

I also really wanted to be a ballerina! I just was never talented (or bendy) enough to go very far. To this day, I feel a strange ache to dance again whenever I watch dancing movies!

At one point I wanted to be an opera singer. Odd, considering that I don't sing!

[Old Warrior]

The telescope is still gathering dust in the closet. We used it about 8 years ago to look at the rings of Saturn when it was really, really close. There were mosquitoes and you lost interest pretty quickly.

You left out being a lawyer. You started practicing for that when you turned two.

[The Incubator]

Other than wanting to be an archaeologist and then finding out that daily showering was not the order of the day, you, Britty and The Old Warrior (each of you choose your own particular order) are just about the highlight of this little girl's daydreams -- even though at times "the girls" made the daily showering a bit of a challenge!

[Larissa]

What's with every girl wanting to be a ballerina? I went through various career dreams, including Rainbow Brite, interior designer and children's author. I have yet to obtain any of those dreams.

[Miriam]

Let's see...Nurse, Professional Ice Skater, psychologist, (b/c you didn't have to go through as many years of school as you would if you were a Psychiatrist) special ed teacher, theatre professional...

yeah I'm none of those things. Boo

[La]

My childhood me would slap me silly. In no particular order, I wanted to be: Annie, a marine biologist, a concert pianist, a singer, and a psychiatrist. I am zero of these things, though I still watch Annie, I love going to the aquarium, and I still play piano and sing. Also, I'm a little crazy, so that's sort of like a shrink. Or, you know, needing one. :)

Have a great weekend!

[slynnro]

I wanted to be a lawyer. I am a lawyer. I was really young and stupid coming up with such a lame dream. I'm living that dream, but I don't like it. Kids have no idea.

Also, you were right about that statistics course. I have a B.A. in Psychology and that class killed me.

[kendra]

I DID NOT want to work in an office. Ever. I wanted to be a marine biologist and train animals....which I did for a few years. But, no one ever really told me (or maybe I didn't listen to mom) that these professions are lacking in the monetary compensation department. Well, part of my original dream was to marry someone rich who would support me....maybe that's how I originally justified the low pay. I now also work in an office. Failed on all of the above, but HEY! I've walked a tiger and trained a walrus, what more could I ask for!

[TasterSpoon]

Oh, I also wanted to be a Disney character at Disneyland - and last weekend I met a woman who WAS JASMINE!

You know who:
http://www.tequilastakescroquet.blogspot.com/

[simplypink]

I wanted to be a ballerina too, but it's hard to do when you hate the barre work and your teacher leaves town and closes the school. I spent the rest of my time playing school. And you know the rest of that story. ;)

[Girl, Dislocated]

I love your rationale behind rejecting each of those occupations--hilarious!

I was a gymnast for a while when I was a kid, and I wanted to grow up to be an Olympic gymnast. Then I went through the astronaut phase. Then, I wanted to be a writer. Finally, since middle school and up until just a few months ago, I was sure I was going to go to medical school, but right now, I'm having doubts and am sort of in limbo. I think it has more to do with my "blah" state of mind and the fact that I'm not at my happiest, so I'm trying not to make any major decisions until my emotional equilibrium has been restored.

But you know, no matter what my state of mind is, lottery winner will ALWAYS sound like a good occupation! :-P

[E.P.]

Oh my goodness! A cupcake store/bakery owner is one of my dream jobs. Because, honestly, anything sweet is amazing, and you'd probably get to eat a lot and bake even more because you owned the store.

... If photojournalism doesn't work out, I've jokingly told friends this is what I'm going to do. What they don't realize is I am kind of serious..

[Becky]

I often think that I'm in the wrong profession as well, but then I realized that I have no desire to go back to school to switch fields. I don't know if I see myself doing the same thing 20 years from now, but I think it will come out of starting my own business or it will just happen upon me (no more school!). As a cupcake maker, though, you could just hire peeps to actually do the work for you:)

[RisibleGirl]

I can't quit laughing at the paragraph about the eye twitch. Living the dream!

OMGosh- I'm DYING here!

I wanted to be a nurse. So glad I'm not.

Now? I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up. I'm just kinda going with the flow.

[meg]

"My level of stress about leaving my job has now begun manifesting itself in snappish remarks to anyone who dares speak to me and a constant eyelid twitch."

I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL!

and i kept that going for so long that even getting on anti-depressants hasn't helped - nothing helped until i made up my mind and just QUIT

i am relieved - with moments of terror
but ultimately you know you will be okay and you know it's not the job for you.

there are always other jobs and money is transient.

i'm really looking forward to the post when you are excited about quitting, and then the post soon after when you have a GREAT new job!

peace,
meg

p.s. i wanted to be a marine biologist when i was 9 - but by the time i was 13 i had decided to be an English teacher and now i'm ifnally going to do it!

[Elin]

This is great info to know.