Tomorrow Is Another Day...

A List of Things

Thing the First:
My sister expressed heartbroken disappointment that when she visited my new digs on the internet, they looked exactly like my old digs on the internet.  Because I am nothing if not a people pleaser (and I've been procrastinating about this for months now), I spruced things up a bit over the weekend.  A little "Spring Cleaning" if you will.  I brightened up the decor and cleaned up the side bars by creating a separate page for all of those fantastic blogs that I fully endorse.  I even added a 100 things about me list over there to the left--except mine is 101 things about me, because I will not be restricted by convention!

Thing the Second:

Over the weekend I was honored to discover that one of my very favoritest recently discovered bloggers, Tipp, had bestowed the honor of naming Tomorrow is Another Day an Excellent Blog.  This was really more exciting than I would have expected, and I've got to tell you, this is the first blog award of any kind that I've ever been given.  It took almost three years, but I've finally made it!  I'm the damn Susan Lucci of the internet!  Anyway, the idea is to now pass it on to those bloggers whom I happen to find excellent.  And this is where I'm stuck, because I made a list, and it was about fifteen thousand miles long.  So, my solution is to give it to everyone on my blog roll.  Some of you read here, others of you don't, but every single one of you makes my day a little brighter every time you post, and I couldn't possibly choose favorites.  So there you go, you gorgeous, Excellent Bloggers!  Be proud!

Thing the Third:
I'm leaving for Italy in four days--our flight takes off on Friday evening, and we'll be touching down in Rome on Saturday.  I really feel like somehow we made the leap from four months to go to four days to go at an alarmingly hasty speed, and I still have about a bajillion things that need to be done.  And so of course, I'm freaking out just a tad.  Here is a random sampling of my to do list for this week:

1)  Contact Our Lord in Heaven, and find out his weather plans for Italy from April 5th-20th.

     a)  At least see if He will narrow it down to sweater weather or tank top weather.

     b)  If He is not available, leave a message and then check weather.com obsessively for the next four days.

2)  Learn to speak Italian

     a)  If not fluent by Wednesday, at least learn basic conversational phrases.

     b)  If still not able to carry on a conversation by Thursday, focus effort on numbers, bargaining terms, and "more wine/gelato, please".

3)  Lose 15 pounds so that the 20 pounds I am liable to gain by eating a steady diet of gelato, parmesan, and wine for the next two weeks will not be so visible.

Of course, there are many other things on the list--packing for example--so I'll be pretty busy for the next few days.  But I figure we've got our passports, we've got our plane tickets, and we've got our hotel reservations, at this point, everything else is just extra.  (Although if you have a spare Italian tutor lying around, please feel free to send him/her in our direction.)

The Hills: I Watch it So You Don't Have To

So, The Hills.  It's become quite the hot button issue lately, hasn't it?  It's one of those things that you either love or you hate, and if you love it you probably also kind of hate that you love it, but if you hate it, there's about a 97% chance that you secretly love it.

I happen to fall into the camp of those who love The Hills.  Yes, I know that it is about as fake as it can possibly be while still retaining some semblance of it's "reality show" moniker.  I know that these kids make Paris Hilton look like a talented girl, just slaving away in the industry to make her mark.  I know that they're probably absolutely unbearable in real life, and that I probably lose a frighteningly high number of brain cells every time Natasha Bedingfeld ushers in another episode.  But I don't care.  I have been watching Lauren Conrad grow up on tv since she was a nobody high schooler in Laguna Beach, and I am still utterly invested in her life four years later.  Sometimes that makes me kind of sad, but then I just eat a cookie and all of the happy feelings come flooding back.

For the past three seasons, I have watched The Hills alone on my couch, making comments to the television that no one will ever hear.  I begged Heidi not to date Spencer from the very beginning.  I told LC that getting back together with Jason was a really poor decision.  I rejoiced when Lo decided to move to L.A.  I rolled my eyes every time Brody tried to use his supposed charms on whatever female being currently resided within a five foot radius.  But no more!  For the next few weeks (excluding the two weeks I'll be in Italy, because, um, no, I'll be busy eating gelato) I'll be recapping The Hills on this here blog.  Mainly because I find it entertaining.

So, for those of you who have never seen The Hills, never plan to watch The Hills, and yet for some reason, are still reading, here are the basics.  Lauren went to high school in Laguna Beach, California.  She was in love with her best friend, Stephen, but he was dating her arch enemy Kristen.  Lauren eventually moved to LA to attend FIDM, where she met Heidi, and got an internship at Teen Vogue where she worked with Whitney.  Somewhere along the line she became friends with Audrina and Spencer Pratt (because the devil loses his hold on you if you just call him by his full name) and Heidi began a rocky romance that eventually caused Heidi and Lauren to end their friendship.  Things ended badly with Jason and Lauren a few times, and now he's engaged to some bizarre blonde girl.  At the end of last season, Lauren was examining her feelings for Brody Jenner, another celebrity who is famous for his mere existence, and jetting off to Paris on a work assignment for Teen Vogue with Whitney.  Heidi and Spencer called off their engagement and Heidi peaced out of California and headed back to Colorado to hang with her parents for a while.

And cue Natasha...!

Lauren begins by reminiscing about all of those things I just told you, or at least the last few sentences, but takes a much longer time about it.  I always wonder if it is weird to her that she had to narrate Heidi's life? 

Anyway, Paris:  There's some sort of stock footage airport stuff going on, and then Whitney, wearing a ridiculous slouchy knit beanie thing, and Lauren, with the most adorable coat I've ever seen enter stage right as a stereotypical Frenchman holds up a card with something unintelligible written on it.  Actually, upon further investigation it reads:  Teen Vogue Whitney Port.  Oh burn!  Lauren doesn't even get a name placard!  Whitney's all, take that bitch!  Not really.

Oh Whitney is wearing grey and white striped tights.  Apparently that is important to the plot development, because we have the pleasure of viewing them at close range for about 10 seconds.  The chauffeur loads them in their car, and has the most hilarious world weary expression on his face as he Frenches, "So, you are in Paris!"

Lauren manages to look vaguely excited, with a sort of half-hearted "Yaaay!" and Whitney says "We're so excited", like you might expect someone would say, "My grandmother just died."  Chauffeur goes on to inform the girls that everything is different in Paris, but when they dare to question how so, he Frenches some more that that is for them to see.  Lauren looks a bit perplexed for a minute, but then lays eyes on the Eiffel Tower, and attempts excitement again as though she has discovered that yes!  This is how Paris is different!  They have the Eiffel Tower!  They squeal a little bit and then check out their itinerary.

Whitney mispronounces Givenchy, which makes me want to punch her in the face since she's all "fashion is my life", and then they discover that they're supposed to pick up ball gowns for themselves from Alberto Ferretti and Collette to pick up shoes for the debutantes.  Of course, they decide to pick up the ball gowns first, even though shoes are first on the itinerary.  Oh dear, I wonder how this will affect our intrepid Parisian explorers!!

Colorado:  Heidi is skiing with her mother.  I should probably let you know in advance that I despise Heidi almost as much as Spencer, so my recaps of her scenes are probably a little biased.  She talks to her mom about how she thinks about Spencer all the time, and her mom says some smart things, basically saying that her daughter deserves far better than that disgusting piece of trash.  Spoiler: Heidi doesn't listen.  Shocking!

Paris, Alberto Ferretti:  Whitney and Lauren are picking up their gowns, and once again SAY how excited they are, but speak as though they are being lead to the guillotine.  In fact, in the future, let's just assume that every time they indicate that they are feeling an emotion other than complete boredom, the opposite is to be construed from their facial expressions and tones.  Lauren loves feathers on dresses.  Apparently.

They are shown their dresses, and they are indeed gorgeous, and then the girls are off to Collette to pick up the shoes.  Oh no!  Collette is locked up for the night!  I did not see that coming AT ALL!  I mean, why would they have to manufacture drama on this show?  Paris is exciting enough on it's own, right?  The girls freak out with very little emotion, and then decide that they'll pick up the shoes in the morning.  Whew!  Crisis averted!

Los Angeles, Spencer's Apartment:  Spencer washing probably the only dish he has ever washed in his life.  His sister, Stephanie comes in and I'm telling you, she is the worst reality television actress ever.  Every line she speaks sounds like it's being read directly off of a teleprompter.  They discuss the fact that Spencer is going to Colorado to drag Heidi bodily back to L.A., and Stephanie robotically tells him that this is a bad idea, using a lot more words.  I hate them so much.

Paris:  Whitney and Lauren have supposedly just rolled out of bed, but they each have a truckload of makeup on already.  I mean, okay, if my life was being filmed, I would probably always be camera ready too, but this is just one of those things that screams out, "This scene was staged, people!"  They check their itinerary and find out that they're assisting with a photo shoot for the day.

Colorado:  Spencer pulls up in his giant SUV on Heidi's parents property, and Heidi's dad full on looks like he wants to bash the kid over the head with the snow shovel he's wielding.   For a minute there I thought that Daddy Heidi wasn't going to let Spencer in the house, but after some severely awkward silence, he tells Spencer to wait inside until Heidi gets home.

Paris, Teen Vogue Photo Shoot:  The girls show up on time with the shoes from Collette in hand.  Well, that was a whole lot of drama over nothing, wasn't it?  I lost a year off of my life worrying about those shoes, and all for nothing.  Well, those debutantes had better be appreciative!  Spoiler:  They won't be!  Lauren and Whitney are given various lackey assignments, and Whitney looks pissed.  She actually does show a semblance of emotion there.  It's a really impressive moment.

Audrina calls Lauren to tell her that apparently she was at a party and saw Brody hanging out with another girl, and was referring to her as his "girlfriend".  How mysterious!  I wonder what this could mean?  Whitney makes some pretty hilarious faces when Lauren breaks the news, and then suggests that they find boyfriends over the next two days.  Um, okay.  Do that, girls!

Colorado:  Heidi comes home and looks less than thrilled to see Spencer sitting on the couch holding a bouquet of roses.  Heidi makes it clear that she hasn't wanted to talk to him because she doesn't want to talk to him.  He seems to have trouble understanding this concept.  The both stare at the ground for a little while.

Paris:  Lauren and Whitney are going out to meet some French band guys that she met in L.A. previously.  The guys look like they haven't showered in about a week and just stole their outfits from some homeless men.  There's this one guy with crazy Austin Scarlet hair.  It's frightening.  One of the more greasy specimens seems to find Lauren quite attractive, and gives her his best greasy French-man looks, suggesting that they all go drink champagne by the Eiffel Tower.  Yeah, I bet Parisians do this all the time.  On their lunch breaks.

Any normal episode of The Hills would be over at this point, but since this is the Extra!  Special!  Premiere! we get to watch another 30 minutes.  Excellent!

Still in Paris:  Lauren and Whitney sit on the bed of their hotel room talking trash about Brody with the assistance of the French/English pocket dictionary.  There is one kind of sincere, funny moment when Lauren says that she needs to go find a rebonder.  Whitney wrinkles up her nose and takes a stab at it, "A real man?" she translates.  Lauren laughs and corrects her saying, "No, a rebound.  I like where your head's at though!"  It's nice to see those infrequent moments when the girls seem to really be having fun together, and not so conscious of telling their story for the cameras.  The greasy French guys text Lauren and tell her that they're going out to a super fancy club.

Lauren and Whitney want to go, but Lauren has nothing to wear!  Really!  Nothing!  She packed for a week in Paris and didn't take a single party dress?  I don't buy it.  Oh, but look!  Alberto Ferretti let them borrow these fab dresses, and since Lauren has at some point evolved into the Happy Homemaker, using phrases like "running stitch" she can whip that puppy into a party dress in no time and be back home before she turns into a pumpkin.  Whitney is skeptical, wrinkling her nose some more, reminding Lauren that they have to wear the gowns tomorrow, but Lauren perseveres.

Colorado:  Heidi, her parents, and Spencer take part in the most forced, staged, awful dinner ever to grace our television screens.  Heidi makes a toast to her parents, thanking them for loving and supporting her, pointedly leaving Spencer out of the toast.  She then looks at Spencer, all smug and nose jobby and asks him, "Planning on staying long?" and then looks at her mother and says, "What were you saying today mom, like, if he really cared about my needs he would respect the space?  Wha... what were you saying?"  It's so dumb, and you can just tell that Heidi spent an hour alone in her room with a notebook frantically scribbling witty, hurtful jabs, and that was the best she could come up with.  The snip back and forth for a while, and it's utterly boring and I just feel so bad for her parents for having to deal with this fake awkwardness, and eventually Spencer leaves.  Thank God.

Paris:  Lauren and Whitney go to the super fancy French club and this greasy Frenchman have at some point transformed into the undead.  They're all pale and creepy and hollow-eyed.  If I were Lauren and Heidi, I would be fearing for my brain right about now.  There are some introductions, and the Frenchman who has taken a shine to Lauren keeps casting Looks of Death upon any other man who dares to speak to her.  They holler at each other over the music for a while about how Lauren wishes she could see more of Paris.  Some other guy non-sequiters to Lauren, "Do you surf?" and she looks at him like he's crazy.  Finally!  An appropriate response!

The Guy Who Likes Lauren (I sure wish I knew his name) stalks them out of the club and scares the absolute crap out of her, and then has the gall to use the phrase, "bye-bye".  Ew.

The next morning the girls are getting ready for the ball and talk about how disappointed Whitney is that she's doing all of this lackey work and not more styling like it was implied she would be doing.  Meanwhile, Lauren rips out her stitches and proudly shows off the fact that you can't see any holes from the temporary hem.  Someone should give that girl a badge!  As she is congratulating herself, she suddenly gasps and intones, "Oh.  My.  God."  Oh dear!  Could something have gone wrong with the dress?

There's some kind of mysterious brown mark on the dress, that Lauren frantically insists was not on the dress when they got home from the club last night.  She actually starts crying, and I'm starting to doubt that this was staged because she is flipping her shit so mightily.  I don't know, either it's not staged, or Lauren Conrad should earn an Emmy for that performance.  She discovers that the dress had been touching the curling iron and the mysterious brown stain is actually burn marks.

Whitney offers to call and try to get a new dress from their contact at Alberto Ferretti.  Lauren continues to weep gently into her hands as Whitney gets abused by the stylist who eventually agrees to loan them another dress if they can get there in 15 minutes.  The doors are locked, and for a brief moment Lauren begins to freak out again, but then someone inside sees her and brings a garment bag out to her.  He tells her, "It's an amezing gown.  Vera, vera precious," which roughly translates into English as don't ruin another one of our astonishingly expensive dresses you dirty American harlot.

Colorado:  Spencer and Heidi sit down at a restaurant together.  Sweet Jesus on toast, does this guy never die?  Spencer and the cockroaches.  They'll remain even after the Apocolypse.  They're both equally annoying fo the next few minutes as they fight about their disgusting relationship some more, and I'm just not even going to dignify this with any more words.  Well, just a few more.  Heidi tells him she wants him out of the apartment when she returns to L.A.

Paris, The Crillon Ball:  Lauren and Whitney arrive at this absolutely fantastic building, and they really do look lovely as they make their entrance.  I've go to tell you though, the deb ball on Gossip Girl looked way more impressive.  So, Lauren is in charge of helping with the photo shoot, and Whitney is in charge of holding big foam cards that say the designer of each of the debutantes dresses.  Wow, really?  That is a pretty shit job.

After the presentation of the debs, some nerdy looking Teen Vogue guy approaches Whitney and starts asking her about her what she thinks of the experience so far.  She raves about how much she has enjoyed seeing all of the beautiful clothes, and then says as politely as possible that she really wishes she hadn't been given such low-level, crap jobs and she wants to work more in fashion than behind the scenes.  This whole scene is just here to explain why Whitney eventually leave Teen Vogue, and it's pretty boring.

The Guy Who Likes Lauren calls and says he wants to take her on a midnight tour of Paris on his Vespa.  So, with Whitney's encouragement, she bundles that fabulous WHITE dress up under her adorable coat, dons a helmet, and hops on the back of the Vespa.  And then it starts to rain.  And, I'm sorry, maybe I'm totally lame, but this whole scenarios sounds super unfun to me.  It's like one of those things that SOUND fantastically romantic, but don't really translate well into real life.  And the Alberto Ferretti guys are going to be super pissed that she just destroyed a second dress.

The next morning, the girls are getting ready to leave, and Whitney finally says the name of The Guy Who Likes Lauren, it's something like Mattheas.  Dumb.  Then she asks Lauren about Brody, and they just stare at each other silently like they forgot their lines, and then Lauren breezes about how weird it will be to go back home.  Lauren points out that the chauffeur did tell them that Paris changes you.  That girl, she is so deep.  Whitney makes a grand pronouncement about how she has reached the end of the road at Teen Vogue and she's ready for bigger, better things.  Lauren is just kind of like, "Uuuuh."

Colorado:  SPENCER IS STILL THERE!!  Holy crap!  There is some fake emotion as Heidi bids him adieu and says she'll call him when she gets back to L.A.

Paris:  Whitney is wearing another one of her slouchy knit hats, and I think she has somehow forced me to like them.  How did that happen?  There's a montage of goodbyes as Speidi hug and Spencer drives off in his devil mobile and Lauren and Heidi wave farewell to gay old Paree.

And that's it folks!  Check back next week for a recap half the size of this one.  Praise God.  I don't think I could survive another one hour recap.

The Geeky Fun Never Ends!

Update:  Okay, so feed readers are having problems picking up on the domain change.  Prepare yourself for some technical speak while I explain what I think is the issue.  Currently katiescarlett36.com and wickedlyscarlett.com are both mapped to katiescarlett36.typepad.com.  I think because I have two domains mapped to the same blog, the feed readers are seeing both of those URLs as one and the same, so when you try to update, it's telling you that you're already subscribed.  The domain forwarding has gone into effect, so now when you type in katiescarlett36.com, you are automatically forwarded to wickedlyscarlett.com.  The only solution I can come up with is to deactivate katiescarlett36.com next week, and hopefully at that point everyone's readers will still pick up the feed for the blog.  If not, well, I don't know.  As Ashley put it, the internet is hard.

So, I think we're pretty close to being in business with this whole domain switch over thing!  Thanks to a person who is far more intelligent in the ways of the internet than I, www.wickedlyscarlett.com has been whipped into shape and now seems to work properly as a URL for my site.  Permalinks are still defaulting to katiescarlett36.com, but within the next few days the website forwarding should be all updated, and wickedlyscarlett.com will be the main link.

I'll keep katiescarlett36.com up and running for a little while longer, however, I would just love, love, love it if you could all start switching over your linky loos and feed readers to www.wickedlyscarlett.com, please, please cheddar cheese with a cherry on top.

Strangely enough, while www.wickedlyscarlett.com appears to work beautifully, wickedlyscarlett.com does not.  I (read: my far more intelligent friend) am working on getting this straightened out, but in the meantime, please let me know if you're running into any broken links or having problems commenting or just gazing upon my beauteous page.

Finally, I have noticed that a rather larger number of Angela's have begun popping up around internetland than in days of yore, and there is nothing that feels stranger than writing a comment as "Angela" when two other Angelas have commented before me.  It makes me feel like I'm suffering from some kind of multiple personality disorder.  So, I am toying with the idea of commenting under the name "Wickedly Scarlett".  1) To set myself apart and 2) Because it sounds freaking awesome.

Anywhozit, I'm hoping that when I hit publish, everything will go smoothly and the internet won't blow up in my face.  I am remaining cautiously optimistic.

Quarter Life Crisis: Round Two

My struggles with depression and attempts to define myself have been pretty well documented here over the past few years.  Sometimes, when I want a really surreal trip down memory lane, I just click over there on that depression category, and I read the posts that were written just over a year ago, and I feel like I'm reading about someone else's life.  My method of coping with those memories has been to just completely erase 2006 and late 2005 from my mind.  It was a pretty dark period in my life, and I don't really like to look back.

Lately though, I've been looking back.  I've been trying to gauge what I've been feeling lately against what I was feeling then.  Checking my Crazy Barometer if you will.  The last thing I want to do is put Colby through the hell of an unmedicated, depressed Angela, so every morning I lick my finger and test the winds of Crazy, trying to determine if what I'm feeling is really depression rearing its ugly head once more, or just confusion.

The thing is, I don't feel like driving my car off of an overpass, I don't lay in bed crying every night, and I don't feel like a totally empty shell of a person.  Yes I'm a little grumpier than usual, and yes, my patience is a little shorter than it should be, but I don't feel like it's time to start medicating my brain again.  And yet, still I don't feel quite right.

Then I found this post, from almost two years ago, and it hit me.  That's exactly what this is.  I'm going through my Quarter Life Crisis version 2.0.  I thought it was over and done with, that I had come to terms with who I am as a person, but I'm beginning to think that these little existential crises just never really stop happening.  All of those things I questioned then--whether I would ever find true love, whether I would ever be a published writer, whether I really belonged in the military--have been answered.  I thought that once I was married, published, and a civilian, everything would fall into place.  Magically, my life would have meaning, and I would know why I was put on this earth.

Thing is though?  I'm just as lost now as I was then.  Only now I'm even more confused, because all this time I just thought that if I could accomplish X, Y, and Z, everything would be perfect and I would never have to question my role in life again.

But now I'm once again on the brink of unemployment, spending my afternoons trolling through job listings, waiting for something to jump out at me.  Waiting to feel a pull in a certain direction.  Who will I be next?  What is my calling in life?  What if my calling in life already happened, and I was too busy watching Dancing with the Stars to pay attention?  What is wrong with me that never in my life have I had any sort of passion for a career?  Sure, there's writing, but I haven't done such a great job of making a career out of that.   I've always wanted three things:  to be a wife, a mother, and a writer.  I have two out of three of those things under my belt, and I still feel like I'm floundering.

So then I start wondering once more, am I supposed to be a mom now?  If that's the only thing left that I've always wanted, is that what I'm supposed to do now?  Once every two or three weeks, that starts to sound like a really great idea.  It is generally after I've spent some time with a very well behaved child, or wandered aimlessly through the Target baby section.  I start to feel those maternal twinges, and I think, "Yes, this is what I need."  But then I spend a weekend sleeping in until 10:30, lounging on the couch all day watching America's Next Top Model marathons, planning our trip to Italy and future dream trips to Costa Rica and Paris, and I think, "No, actually, I think this is what I need.  This and a Cadbury Cream Egg will do nicely, thank you."

In two years will I look back on this entry, and laugh sardonically as I hoist a baby on my hip and try to do ten loads of laundry one handed while Colby is deployed to Madrid for 6 months?  How's that for your life long dream, Ang.  Good job pinning all of your hopes on this!  Will I ever have that lightning bolt moment where I realize, "This is IT.  This is your life!  Embrace it!"  Or am I going to spend the rest of my life wondering what the hell I'm doing and if I left the gas on at home?

This Weekend I...

... Successfully gave my two weeks notice on Friday.  My boss was incredibly understanding, and made the whole thing so much easier for me than I would have expected.  Now I have two weeks left to go before I'm gallivanting around Italy and no longer collecting a paycheck.  I haven't started to regret my decision yet, but there was a very large man overflowing into my seat on the train this morning, so that might have something to do with it.


... Went to dinner at Can Can to celebrate Colby's birthday, and fell absolutely in love with burlesque!  I really hate the idea of strip clubs, but for some reason when you add French music and red lighting, the whole thing becomes so much more classy!  It also helped that these guys and girls were incredibly talented dancers and acrobats.  I'm ready to go back for another show!

...Loved the music that was played during the Kabaret Verboten, specifically this song by Rasputina.  This video doesn't do it justice, but all of us at our table were cracking up from the very beginning.

...  Had a wonderful Easter dinner at Lori's house, followed up by a viewing of Michael Clayton.  I find this self congratulatory poster for the movie interesting, because we pretty much universally hated the movie.  Gorgeous George there was really the only redeeming quality.  Imagine Erin Brokovich without the boobs, emotional involvement, and sense of self mockery, and you've got Michael Clayton.

... Made myself sick from eating far too much Easter candy.  Apparently I've lost my tolerance for Dove chocolate eggs, and am suffering from a pretty serious sugar hangover today.

I hope you had a very Hoppy Easter, and hopefully spring is well on its way for all of us now!

Testing... Again

Friday was going so well... I managed to give my two weeks notice without dissolving into tears, we had our monthly company happy hour which meant free drinks, and Can Can for Colby's birthday was amazing.  Then we got home and I discovered that my blog had broken.  After 36 hours of trying every tech solution under the sun, things appear to have righted themselves, so now I'm just making sure this posts properly before I go get ready for Easter dinner.

Fingers crossed!!

And of course, Happy Easter!  I hope you're getting to eat more Reese's Peanut Butter Easter Eggs than I am.  (Current count: 0)

Deep Breaths In.... and Out...

I need to find a pillow so that I can scream into it desperately for the next five minutes or so.  Maybe then I'll feel a little bit better.

I'm giving my notice at work today.  I have my resignation letter all typed up, and I've spent the past 24 hours rehearsing my speech in my head in the hopes that my propensity to word vomit won't overcome me while I'm meeting with my boss.  I just really hope that we're all able to part on good terms, and no one harbors any resentment toward me for not sticking this out longer.

Confrontation.  It is not my favorite.  My method for breaking up with a boys or ending friendships has always been to just stop calling in the hopes that eventually they would get the message.  Horrible?  Yes.  Do I still really wish that were an option with my job right now?  Absolutely.

So now I'm just sitting in my chair, shaking like a leaf from a combination of nerves and the lack of heat in our office, waiting for my boss to get here so that I can set up a little meeting with her for early this afternoon.  Oh please God, let me get this over with!

Additionally, I have still not been able to figure out what the heck is going on with my domain registration.  I bought the URL through Wordpress, and I've attempted to contact them with my questions twice and haven't heard anything back yet.  I'm starting to get the idea that wickedlyscarlett.com is gone for good--or at least the next year--and that makes me sad, because I'd already formed a deep attachment to it.  We had all kinds of plans for the future together, and now they're all coming to pieces.  I will not be ignored, Wordpress!

But all is not lost.  There is still the prospect of Colby's birthday dinner tonight, and I feel confident that a well made cocktail could help pull me from the depths of despair.  And of course, Easter has managed to sneak up on me once again, and we've made plans to go over to my pretend mom's house on Sunday to celebrate the day that Jesus rose from the dead and rabbits customarily hide eggs.

If I can only get through the rest of this day without throwing up or hurling my computer against a wall, I think I might be off to the start of a rather pleasant weekend.  Here's hoping!!

Test

Just testing my feed... pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!

I Hope I'm Still Here Tomorrow

Oh good God, I am so technologically inept.  Trying to manage a blog is so very humbling, and it's resulting in a case of severe Internet Multiple Personality Disorder.  Seriously, knowing how to check your voice mail, set a DVR to record multiple shows at the same time, and forward your email to your phone all make you think that you are totally technology savvy, but then you attempt to change domain names and the internet just blows up in your face.

I feel a little bit like Tom Hanks in Castaway, just floating all alone on a sea of endless internet waters that I have no clue how to navigate, on the tiny little raft created from the four things I know about how the internet works.  I'm a little bit afraid that I'm going to break the whole internet.  One false move and the entire thing is going to come tumbling down around my ears.

Anyway, what I am trying (so far unsuccessfully) to do is move my blog over to a new URL--www.wickedlyscarlett.com.  (My dear mother won that contest that we'd all forgotten about, and I'm hoping that I'm not going to be slammed with numerous nepotism lawsuits now.)  I also contemplated moving over to Wordpress because hello, it is FREE.  So, I exported my blog, bought the new domain name and started setting up shop... and I did not like it.  Typepad is so easy for the less than advanced internet user and with Wordpress I felt like I really couldn't make all of the customizations that I wanted to without knowing how to actually build a website.

I'm only one chapter into my web design textbook, and quite frankly, I'm already confused, so I've got a long way to go before I'm diving into the deep end of the CSS pool.

So I think I'm rejecting Wordpress, even though it is free (sob!) and now I'm trying to get my Typepad blog to redirect to both katiescarlett36.com AND wickedlyscarlett.com until my claim on the former URL runs out in August.  I'm not sure how this is going to work.  I'm afraid to delete my Wordpress blog because I bought the domain through them, and I'm worried that might delete my claim on the domain.  And yet I'm skeptical as to whether or not Typepad will be able to redirect to wickedlyscarlett.com because the Wordpress blog is already hanging out at that URL.  So now my blog can apparently be found at three, maybe four different URLs, and I don't think that any of them are completely correct.

My head hurts, and I'm at that point where I don't even really understand the questions I'm asking.  I think I finally understand that saying about a little knowledge being a very dangerous thing.

Ultimately, what it has taken me seven paragraphs to say, is that I am in the midst of a lot of technical internet crap, and if my blog disappears or looks weird over the next few days, that is why.  Please, send chocolate.  And a web designer.

It's My Party... Well, Not Really

Colby's birthday is on Friday.  He'll turn 28, so of course I've been teasing him about how ridiculously old he's getting, because that is what I do every day of my life.  And so, this means that in three years I'll be crying over my 28th birthday dinner because, hey, remember when I was making fun of you for being so old?  Believe me, I can vividly remember poking fun at him at his 23rd birthday because oh my God, he was sooooo oooooold and it did not feel good when my own 23rd year rolled around.  What can I say, everyone seems old from the vantage point of twenty.

Anyway, back on topic, Colby's birthday.  Friday.  Twenty-eight.  We agreed at Christmas that his present would cover his birthday as well, since I spent my entire life's savings on his Nikon, so I don't have to stress about a present, but I am stressing a bit over what we should do to celebrate his big day.  Being together on his birthday is still kind of a novelty--I mentioned before that we spent his 23rd together.  We'd only been "officially" dating for a couple of months and I was thrilled when he invited me along to dinner with his parents.  I didn't start blogging until late 2005, so the memories of the 24th and 25th birthdays are completely lost to me (thank God for this website, I am continuously using it as reference material for my own life), on his 26th birthday we were on a relationship hiatus, and last year we were somewhere around Wyoming on our great trek across the country moving me to Washington.  So, what I'm saying here is that I'd really like to make some damn memories.  (And then write about them so I can remember them next year.)

And here is where the irony comes into play.  I love, love, love planning parties.  I do!  Planning my wedding was some of the most fun I've ever had, and I'm not exaggerating in the slightest when I say I would do it again in a heartbeat.  When I was in the Air Force, I was the go to girl for planning promotions, retirements, going away parties, you name it, I would happily plan it.  But the reason I loved planning these parties so much, was because I knew that there was a guaranteed group of attendees.  Outside of major life events, and parties for other people, I live my life absolutely petrified that no one will show up for my own parties.  This makes planning fun nights out and classy dinner parties at our house less than enjoyable.

I can't for the life of me think of what sparked this fear.  From what I remember, the birthday parties I had throughout the years were always well attended, and when I do get up the courage to host a party, the house ends up pretty well filled.  I may not know where this horrible fear stems from, but it is really crippling when it comes to planning parties.

So, anyway, I'm trying to get over this fear.  Really, I am.  I've been tossing around the idea of having a murder mystery party after we come home from Italy and before Colby heads off for his summer deployment, and I've been thinking it might be fun to have a pajama party with some of the other wives and girlfriends while all of our handsome soldiers are off fighting the good fight.  In the meantime, I've suggested Can-Can to Colby for this weekend, and told him that I'd drive so he can get liquored up if he so chooses, but I'm leaving the inviting of friends up to him.  And the nice thing about marriage is that even if no one else wants to come, I know that we'll still have a wonderful birthday celebration all on our own, and that there's always at least one person who is obligated to show up at my parties!

Monday, Monday

Friday night I had the last of a box of Strawberry Frosted Mini-Wheats and a bowl of popcorn for dinner.  Saturday night was Kraft Mac & Cheese from the blue box (with extra cheese thrown in, quelle surprise).  Sunday was barbecued chicken marinated in lime juice, soy sauce, and garlic, on a bed of salsa and Mexican rice, topped off with a layer of melted cheese.

Guess which night Colby was home?

He pulled into the driveway a little after 9 o'clock on Saturday night, just as I was reaching the exciting conclusion of Bunny Lake is Missing.  I was alerted to his arrival by Ellie leaping up from a dead sleep and then hurtling at the speed of light toward the front door before Colby's keys were even in the lock.  He unloaded all of the presents he'd brought back (eight or nine bottles of wine, pasta alla caprese from the chow hall in Germany, and a Sicilian trinacria) and then we curled up on the couch so that I could finish my movie and Colby could laugh at it.

Yesterday was spent absolutely rooted to the couch, cuddled up under a blanket.  I opted not to do a pictorial review of my weekend today, because it would look something like this:

Thrilling, eh?

And that was how we celebrated the one year anniversary of our engagement.  Is it safe to say that the honeymoon is over?  No, I kid, I kid.  Of course it would sound lovely if I told you that we spent the day gazing soulfully into one another's eyes, taking turns reciting love poems over a plate of chocolate covered strawberries while a symphony of angels sang a chorus from the rooftops.  But in reality, curled up on the couch watching tv is exactly the way I always wished that we could spend our weekends together when we were living on opposite sides of the country.  So really, the honeymoon has only just begun!

Anyway, today I'm back at work and oh my goodness, does it ever feel like a Monday.  I don't know how it works out that whenever I decide to wake up just a little bit early so I can actually brush my hair, rather than just throwing it up in a ponytail, I walk outside and it's cold, windy, and rainy.  I think I'm finally beginning to understand why people around these parts just don't much bother with hair and makeup.

(Completely off topic, but is Google Reader updating incredibly slowly for anyone else?  It's been taking my posts 3 or 4 hours to show up in my reader, and I don't know if it's something I'm doing or if it's just a feed thing.)

Wishing For That Phone Call

Friday afternoons in blog land are so lonely, aren't they?  Everyone is off living their life, away from the internet, while I'm still chained to the computer in the miserably lagging Pacific Time Zone.  I'm still at work for another hour and a half, and then it's home to a classic movie marathon weekend courtesy of Turner Classic Movie channel.

I didn't make any plans for the weekend.  I was hoping against hope that Colby would be home by tomorrow and we would be able to spend our time together.  Doing anything together, I really didn't care what it would be.  He has had so few weekends at home this year.  I think I can count our weekends together since January 1st on one hand.  The last I heard from him was a one line email on Wednesday night telling me they were leaving "Over There" and that he was glad to be well rested before a flight for the first time on this trip.

Usually, we're lucky enough to communicate in some way, be it phone, email, or IM, at least once a day.  So, of course, now that it's been nearly two full days, the silly little fears and apprehensions are marching steadily through my mind, one after another.  A constant succession of unlikely but possible scenarios that will not be silenced.

I know that they've probably just had long days, with his crew rest on an opposite schedule from mine.  I know it could just be that the internet cafe is too far from his lodging, or that it closed before he could get there.  I know that if something were to go wrong, I would hear something from someone.

But none of that can do anything to silence the negative thoughts that keep pounding in my brain on a loop.

Probably I'll get an email or phone call from him, just as I post this.  That is the way these things work, no?

Until then, I'll do my best to quash the paranoia with a visit to Starbucks for a comforting cup of hot chocolate, a stop at the cupcake shop by the train station on the way home, and the company of my old friends Clark, Jimmy, and Laurence for the evening.

But all of the chocolate treats and matinées idols in the world won't stop me from darting to my phone every time it rings or checking my email obsessively for a new message.  Let's just hope, for all of our sanity, that at some point soon, my wish will come true.

UPDATED: Colby emailed me to say that he should be home tomorrow.  The time stamp on the email was EXACTLY one hour from the time that I posted this entry.  Oh, Life, you crazy bastard! 

My Dream Job List

An unfulfilled vocation drains the color from a man's entire existence.
~Honore de Balzac, "Scenes de la vie Parisienne," La Maison Nucingen, 1838

My level of stress about leaving my job has now begun manifesting itself in snappish remarks to anyone who dares speak to me and a constant eyelid twitch.  I'm like Popeye with severe rage issues.  Additionally, according to WebMD, I'm going blind from staring at the computer 24/7. 

Many years ago, when I was a charming young naif, I dreamed of the day that I would be sitting behind a computer, muttering sarcastic comments under my breath while my eyelid fluttered uncontrollably.  And just look at me today!  Living the dream, people!  Living the dream.

I've been thinking a lot about my childhood dreams lately, and just how far short of the mark I'm hitting on a daily basis.  In all fairness to myself, the vast majority of my childhood dreams were ridiculous.  And so, to make myself feel better about continuously failing meet my own expectations, I'll share those more far fetched dreams with you today.

Ballerina

Oh, how I wanted to be a ballerina.  I began taking ballet classes long before I can even remember, and I so loved the beautiful costumes and ballet slippers that the older girls wore.  I can remember sitting, hunched against the wall, watching the girls practicing en pointe, dreaming of the day that I would be just like them.  When I was in 5th grade, our wonderful teacher left our school, and she was replaced by a woman who would sit on our backs to "help" us with our splits.  It was around this time that I began to realize that becoming a ballerina would take a great deal of practice and require eating far fewer Cheetos than I would have liked.  At nine years old, I hung up my ballet shoes for good.

Psychiatrist

I'm honestly not sure what sparked my obsession with psychiatry, but this dream lasted from 7th grade through early 9th.  At some point along the way I discovered that if I really wanted to become a psychiatrist, I would have to go to medical school, and that didn't seem like so much fun.  Then I found out that a psychology degree required a statistics course.  NEXT!

FBI Agent

Mostly I just wanted to marry David Duchovny.  Once I started to figure out that television shows are not real, and I would never be able to help Mulder track down creepy aliens, I kicked this idea to the curb.  But not before I read up a great deal on FBI application procedures.  Did you know you have to learn how to fire an actual weapon?  Scary!  So, you know, then I joined the Air Force.  No guns there, thank goodness!

Cupcake Shop Owner

This one still sounds kind of fun sometimes for two reasons.  1) Cupcakes are delicious.  2) Frosting is delicious.  But then I remember that I would have to make the cupcakes every day, probably quite early in the morning.  Also, it would be beneficial to me to work rather long hours with the end goal of not going out of business.  Neither one of those things sound very enjoyable, so instead I just frequent other people's cupcake shops.  It's win-win I think.

Astronaut

I went through a period of intense obsession with all things NASA related in elementary school.  It was sparked by a classroom exercise of writing a letter to an astronaut to tell them about ourselves.  I wrote my letter to Bonnie Dunbar, and was thrilled when I received a letter back from her (read: NASA's PR department) along with some glossy 8x10s of her headshot and their crew group photo.  I was entranced and spent the next year begging my parents to buy a telescope (which I seem to remember they did do, but it disappeared shortly thereafter) and reading books and magazines about the stars.  Then I saw Apollo 13.  Dude, nobody told me you could get STUCK out there in space.  Screw that.

So please, make me feel better about myself.  Are you living your childhood dreams, or would your nine-year-old self arch an eyebrow, curl their lip and swear they'd never turn out like you?

Shoes. OMG Shoes. Let's Get Some Shoes.

I have before me ten beautiful shoes.  Shoes with so much style and comfort and potential.  But in my hands, I hold the photos of only the three shoes that will go on to become winners of The Great Shoe Quest.

Category 1: Practical Ballet Flat Finalists

Clarks - Swan in Dark Brown Leather
Pros:  Very comfortable and the brown is quite dark and rich.  The leather is extremely soft, and the insole very well padded.  It seems like it would need little to no breaking in.  A definite front runner.

Cons:  The vamp comes up too high over the top of my foot, and I felt like it made the shoes look a little clunky.  When I take a step, I can feel little puffs of air coming out of the shoe--it's like a humiliating shoe fart just waiting to happen.

Clarks - Arye in Champagne Leather
Pros:  When I put on these shoes, I was impressed by how immediately comfortable they were.  Like the Swan, the insole was so well padded, it really did feel like walking on a cloud (only less damp, I would imagine).  The color is a very light gold, so it can be worn casually or more dressed up, and it's so neutral that it will definitely go with either black or brown.

Cons:  The 8 was a little bit too big, and the 71/2 felt a little cramped around the toe box.  I think since they're leather they would probably stretch after some wearing, and if not they could always be taken into a shoe repair store for some manual stretching.  The ribbon edging, while adorable, might cause a little bit of rubbing on the foot.

Indigo by Clarks - Giana in Cafe Brown Leather

Pros:  Really, the only pro is how cute the shoe is.  The quilting of the leather is really different and adorable, and the darker ribbon edging the brown leather would help it match black and brown.  The leather was very soft and pliable.

Cons:  While it was certainly more comfortable than some of the flimsier ballet flats already in my closet, it didn't stand a chance when compared to the Swan and Arye.  There is very little padding on the insole, and while it would probably be great for normal wear, I don't imagine my feet would feel so great after walking over cobblestones for miles and miles.

Category 2: Sturdy Walking Shoe Finalists

Privo - Comice in Brown Nubuck

Pros:  The shoe fits my foot extremely well, has a great textured and padded insole, and seems like it would be a very sturdy option for all kinds of terrain.  It's tight enough to fit comfortably without socks, but still has enough room that I could get away with a thin sock if it's cool outside.  The brown doesn't seem like it would match so well with black, but this seems to matter a little bit less since it has more of a "tennis shoe" look to it, and I don't generally worry about matching those to my outfits.

Cons:  Not the most elegant style.  They would work great with pants, but are definitely a little too "sporty" for a dressy skirt or dress.

Privo - Float in Brown Nubuck

Pros: I loved the leather detailing on the sides and strap.  The leather has an almost metallic sheen that dresses the shoe up a little bit.  The insole is the same as the Comice, making it a very comfortable option.

Cons: The 8 was far too loose and the 71/2 was far too small.  Since the majority of the shoe is a mesh fabric, it wouldn't take to stretching very well without loosing its shape.  The leather strap could cause some rubbing issues after prolonged wear.

Privo - Step in Chocolate Nubuck

Pros: Such a cute shoe--the leather detailing over the toe is really adorable and gives the shoe a dressier look so that it could easily be worn with a skirt or pants.  Has the same padded insole as the Float and Comice.

Cons:  Unfortunately, the big pro about this shoe is the cause of the major con.  The adorable leather part on the toe of the shoe puts pressure on your toes and was already uncomfortable after just a few minutes on my foot.  There's always the possibility that it would loosen up with repeated wearings, but I don't know for sure.

Skechers - Bikers Locomotion in Toffee

Pros:  The insole didn't have the same textured padding as the Privos, but it was still extremely comfortable.  The style is quite cute, and like the Step and Float, could be easily worn with jeans or skirts.

Cons:  Far too wide for my foot.  The 8 slid off of my foot with almost every step, and the 7.5 was far too small.  Even if the 7.5 had fit, the shoe seemed to add girth to my foot and made it look much wider than it really is.

Category 3: Comfortable Heel

Ecco - Basel T-Strap in Espresso Patent

Pros:  Really, really cute shoe with a vintage vibe, and quite comfortable.  The heel was a great height, not too tall, not too short, so it was very easy to walk in, and the leather was so soft that it really felt great on my foot.

Cons: The vintage 1940s look was certainly part of the appeal, but I felt like I could only wear it with certain dresses, as it may have been a little too dressy or retro for more casual skirts or pants.  The insole could have had a bit more padding, though this could be remedied with a little Dr. Scholls action.

Ecco - Brig Petit T-Strap in Barollo Patent

Pros:  Another cute shoe with a vintage look--this time a little more Thoroughly Modern Millie.  Again, because the heel was low and chunky, it was very easy to walk in, and the leather was very pliable.

Cons: This would probably be a perfect shoe for someone who wants a dressy heel without a lot of height, but for me, the heel wasn't high enough and it was a bit too thick for my taste--I think the heel looks higher in the picture than it does in person.  Also, the brown is a very pretty color, but it does have a distinct reddish tinge to it that would make it difficult to match with a lot of outfits.

Sofft - Regina in Cashmere/Spirit Tan Leather

Pros:  Looked even cuter than in the picture—the heel is a little more slender, and the sole doesn't have such visible tread.  Remember those commercials where the women were playing basketball in their high heels, as though they were wearing tennis shoes?  That's what I felt like when I put these shoes on.  The insole is very well padded, but so are the sides of the shoes.  The whole shoe feels cushiony and soft.  The lighter tan leather has a little bit of a glimmer to it without being overly glittery, giving it a very nice dressy feel.  Oh, and free.  That's always a really lovely pro.

Cons:  Because the heel is higher than the other shoes I tried, I probably couldn't wear them for as long without getting some fatigue on the ball of my foot.

And the winners are....

Clarks - Arye in Champagne Leather

I'm wearing these today, and I love them.  When I look down, I can see that I'm wearing delicate, beautiful ballet flats, but when I'm walking, I feel like I'm wearing my most comfortable sneakers.  The really were winners in every category, and I haven't had any trouble with the ribbon rubbing uncomfortably so far.  I'm still considering having them stretched, but I'm going to try wearing them for about a week to see if they stretch any on their own.

Privo - Comice in Brown Nubuck

This decision was a little bit more difficult, just because I really did like the idea of a walking shoe that would be sturdy and comfortable, but also easily coordinate with a skirt or a pair of pants.  However, the Comice was just far and away the most comfortable choice, and I don't imagine I'll be doing a lot of hiking in skirts and dresses anyway!

Sofft - Regina in Cashmere/Spirit Tan Leather

This was another really easy decision.  Yes, it was really fantastic that the shoes were sent to me free of charge by Sofft, and I do feel like I should make that very clear, just so that there's no internet scandal about how I'm hiding the fact that I'm reviewing shoes for which I didn't have to pay!  However, even if I had shelled out the ninety-one bucks out of my own pocket (making them, by the way, the most inexpensive of the dressy shoes I tried), I still would have chosen these shoes.  Like the Clark Arye, they were winners in every category--dressy, comfortable, and versatile (can be worn with skirts, dresses, or jeans).

I'm so pleased with all of these shoes, and I just hope it proves that you CAN find comfortable, practical shoes without losing the style factor.  Okay, I'm ready to go to Italy now!

Failing Pretty Much Everyone Around Me

Coworkers.  Never before have so many people at work commented on projects that they'll need my help with "soon" or "in the future".  Never in my time here have people made me feel like a such a necessary cog to this operation.  Never have I felt so incredibly guilty about something that hasn't even happened yet.  I'm struggling mightily with the decision to wait another week and a half before giving my notice, because I feel like such a horrible person each time I nod and smile as someone commits me to a project down the road.  But Colby and I still have to sit down and examine our finances more closely, and he doesn't get home for another week.  I know I need to wait, but every day I feel a little bit worse.

Fellow bloggers.  I'm supposed to be guest posting for Bre today while she's in London, but I can't figure out her instructions for logging into her blog.  It seems like such a simple task, no?  Yes, that's what I thought too, so I didn't test it out before she left.  Now I'm sitting with a drafted entry and lacking the brain cells that are necessary to understanding how to post it.  I know I'm not really all that important, and her blog will probably survive without me, but I hate to promise something and then not follow through.

Friends.  I owe phone calls to pretty much every single friend in my address book, but each evening, I sit down on the train and opt to fall asleep rather than dialing the phone.  Seriously, what the heck is wrong with me that I HATE talking on the phone so much?  Why can't we all just correspond by email, text messages, and smoke signals?  I miss my friends, and love them, and would so much rather just hang out than come up with riveting phone conversation for 30 minutes.  Why do they have to live so far away?

Jack and Ellie.  You want to go for a walk?  You want to play after dinner?  You want to lay on the floor and get your bellies rubbed?  Well, how about you just sit here next to the couch so that I can half-heartedly scratch your head while zoning out to the Pussycat Dolls Present: Girlicious.  Well, okay, I guess I'll feed you your dinner.  To everyone out there who seems to think I'm ready for kids?  Jack and Ellie would like to voice their vehement disagreement.

My Eye. I seem to have gotten some tiny grain of something stuck between my eye and my eyelid, and no amount of blinking, flushing with cool water, or forced tears will do anything about evacuating it from the premises.  It huuuuuuuurts!

This Weekend I...

...Finally finished writing and addressing all of our wedding gift thank you notes!  Today I have to go buy stamps, but by tomorrow, those suckers will be in the mail and winging their way to our patient and generous friends and family!

... Had a fun filled movie night courtesy of On Demand and my evil DVR.  At least it managed to record all of Pride & Prejudice without chopping off the last half.  And is it just me, or would it have been all that difficult to find a somewhat more smoldering Mr. Darcy?  I know Colin Firth really made the role his own, but Matthew Macfayden's portrayal really is just a pale imitation.

... Managed to beat Colby at Scrabulous even while thousands of miles apart.  I will have the grace to admit that it was indeed a very close game.  He's a worthy opponent, although I still reign as the undefeated champion in our household.

... Broke in our lovely new elliptical machine with two 30 minute workouts that left me sweaty, breathless, and with the realization of how horrifically out of shape I've gotten in the past few months.  I've got a long way to go if I want to be a svelte, elegant American in Italy in just a few more weeks!

... Watched six episodes of that classic 90's television series, Party of Five, again, courtesy of On Demand.  I spent most of the nineties watching Nick at Nite, ABC's TGIF lineup, and The X-Files, so all of those favorites of my peers such as Party of Five, Beverly Hills 90210, and My So Called Life are a whole new world to me now.  I really had no idea that Matthew Fox existed before Lost, and I'm loving him with his long flowing locks.   And this was probably giggled about 15 years ago, but does anyone else find it amusing that the surnames of two of the leading actors are "Fox" and "Wolf"?

... Made two decisions regarding The Great Shoe Quest!  The results really will be coming this week, I promise!  I know I said the same thing last week, unfortunately, Zappos' new shipping policy has made reorders a bit difficult, and apparently Privo shoes have a HUGE disparity in size compared to the rest of the shoes in my closet.  Watch this space--results coming SOON!!

I've reached the conclusion that it's a really good thing I married Colby, so that I'm forced out of the house from time to time.  If I had my way, I'd never change out of my pajamas and cross the threshold unless we were running low on dog food.  How was your weekend?  I hope you managed to leave the house at least once!

If I Had A Million Dollars...

About a thousand years ago, Bre did a fantastically fun post about what outfit she would buy if she had a million dollars.  I loved the concept, since I spend the majority of my days surfing the net and dreaming of the things I could buy if I had unlimited funds.  I planned to do my own version of her post, but then there was the wedding, then the holidays, then the doldrums of winter hit full force and my blog sort of turned into my one stop shop for internet therapy.

I'm beginning to feel a bit more cheery at the prospect of going to Italy, finding a job closer to home, and the promise of sunny spring days lurking just around the corner, so I'm going to make a concerted effort not to be quite so glum here, at least for the foreseeable future.  I firmly believe that we all make our own happiness, and it's okay to be down in the dumps for a little while, but there comes a time where you just have to reach down and pull yourself out of the mire through any means necessary.  And what is a more cheerful thought than being able to dress yourself in sumptuous, fabulous fashions without any regard to your bank balance!

Ah, the joys of blatant materialism!  And so, may I present to you the outfit that I would be wearing today if I had $11,886 dollars burning a hole in my pocket:

7 For All Mankind Satin Halter Top (in Teal) $158.00

Rock & Republic "Scorpion" Stretch Jeans  $202.00

Anthropologie Wellington Trench $188.00

Christian Louboutin "Mad Mary" $865.00

Helen Welsh Double Pocket Satchel $348.00

Michael Kors Circle Detail Large Frame Sunglasses $225.00

Art Deco Ruby and Diamond Cocktail Ring $8500.00

Tiffany Fringe Tower Earrings $1400.00

What items do you dream of buying if only you had unlimited funds?

Kind of A Crappy Day So Far

Do you know what is a super not fun thing to wake up to on a morning that is not Friday when your charming and lovable husband has just flown the coop for a two week deployment?  Dog poop on the carpet by the foot of the stairs.  And over by the coffee table.  And next to the kitchen table.  And next to the other side of the kitchen table.

My house smells like crap.  I didn't have time to clean it this morning, so I wiped up as much as I could and will just have to spend the evening with a clothespin on my nose so that I don't die from the stench.  Poor puppies.  One of them must be sick with a little puppy ailment of some kind.  Since I don't know which one, they've both been crated for the day.  They are going to HATE me tonight.

Also, Home Owners Association and your $75 fine?  You suck.  I would really like to know how a clause in our neighborhood rulebook prohibiting offensive items on your property such as trash, broken furniture, and broken down cars extends to a violation of the rule when you don't have curtains hung in your back window.  I hate that we spent a truly ungodly amount of money to buy our house, have to pay money each month for the privilege of living in a neighborhood ruled by our dictatorship of an association, and don't even have a say in whether or not we hang curtains.  Yet our next door neighbors have a veritable jungle of weeds and beer cans in their yard and apparently no one seems to mind.

And Comcast DVR?  You try to convince us all that you're just as great as my old lover, TiVo, but we all know that you are not.  You suck us in with your lower prices and promises of equal service, but your complete disregard for my orders when I tell you to record something, or fast forward, or play, or NOT DELETE AMERICAN IDOL WHEN I HAVEN'T YET FINISHED WATCHING IT have pushed me over the edge of irritation all the way into blind fury.  If I just wasn't a lady, what wouldn't I tell that varmint.

And can I just mention again that today isn't Friday?  I'm ready to go back to bed, please.

What to Do When You Don't Know What to Do

Sixteen days.

That is all that stands between today and the day that I have to make my final decision about my job.  I'm violating an age old blogger rule by talking about work, but the thing is, I don't hate my job.  I'm not bashing on my office, and over all, I really do quite like my job, despite the events of last week.  The benefits are good, the pay is more than I would make closer to where we live, the people are friendly.  The pro list far exceeds the cons.

The problem is that the con is such a big con.  The commute is killer.  Every day when I wake up, I dread walking in the cold wind and rain.  Every time someone gets off of the train on a stop before mine I hate them a little bit, because they'll get home before me.  I look forward to getting off work at 4:50, and then every day as I leave work I remember that even though I'm not at my desk, it will be at least another hour and a half before I'm really "off" and curled up on the couch.  I hate being at the mercy of the train schedule, and as bad as it is for the environment, I really miss driving to work, listening to the radio and not having to deal with some big, sweaty man swiping my armrest or trying to read while some shrill voiced woman cackles into her phone for an hour.  I want to have the time to take a class after work, or to meet a friend for happy hour without having to leave to catch the last train at six o'clock or figure out the byzantine bus schedule that will tack on another hour to my commute.

Honestly, I know what my decision is.  I want to give my two weeks notice and search for a position closer to home.  There.  I've put it in writing and admitted it to myself.  I am not cut out for this kind of commute.  I really want to leave my house at eight in the morning and be home by five-thirty.  But every time I make up my mind that this is it, it's time to move on, I am immediately accosted with my fears that I won't find anything better than this, that I'll regret my decision.  A voice keeps whispering in my ear that I'll be jumping from the frying pan into the fire.  But it's like having that boyfriend who is GREAT on paper, but it's just not working out in real life.  I know I need to move on, but why does it have to be so haaaaaard!

I've never just outright quit a job in this way.  I left my high school job because I was going to college, I left my college job because I was moving to Arkansas for the Air Force, and I left the Air Force because I hated it from day one.  Those were all such easy decisions, and I never for a second doubted my choices.  I wish I could have that feeling of certainty and clarity with my decision now.

Not So Extreme Makeover: Home Edition

In just a little over three weeks, Colby and I will celebrate our one year anniversary of co-existing under one roof.  Just over a year ago, we crammed my Mazda Tribute literally to the roof with all of our luggage and wedding shower gifts and began the four day drive from Louisiana to Washington.  When we pulled into our driveway at dusk, Colby swept me off of my feet and carried me over the threshold, where my eyes were met with this sight:

Clearly, we've come a long way since then.  Almost all of the house is painted, most of our windows have coverings that didn't have a previous life as a bed sheet, and the majority of our pictures have been hung.  However, as we approach the one year milestone of home ownership, I'm feeling an intense desire to just get everything DONE for crying out loud.  Our loft is still overtaken with wedding gifts that haven't found a home, our master bathroom and upstairs guest bathroom still haven't been painted, one of the hallways is still lined with family photos that have yet to be hung, etcetera, etcetera, and so forth.  I know that when you own a home your work is never really done, but I'm so tired of thinking about all of the basic final moving in steps that haven't been finished yet.

So, when Janet mentioned that she was going to begin a 21-day makeover centered around organizing her home, I jumped on board without a moment's hesitation.  I've never been good at just getting things done on my own timeline, but when there are rules involved and a deadline is set, I am golden.  What can I say, I'm a toddler at heart and I crave structure.  Beginning today, I will spend one hour every day doing something around the house with the end result of getting the crap off of the floor and making every room presentable should the Queen Mother decide to stop by for a visit.  I'm not limiting myself to these items, but these are my main goals:

• Paint the two bathrooms
• Hang the pictures in the upstairs hall
• Hang pictures in the stairwell
• Clean out the loft (move all extra furniture to the Salvation Army pile, and put away wedding gifts)
• Buy window treatments for the master bedroom and living room
• Hang curtains in the loft
• Mount knobs on kitchen cabinets and drawers

Some other tasks that I'd like to accomplish are a little more dependent on other elements--for example, I'd love to get the window treatments actually hung in the bedroom and living room, but if they haven't arrived by March 25th, I'm not going to beat myself up over not getting that done.

I'll update once a week with my progress for the next three weeks, and hopefully 21 days from now I will have a whole lot less home improvement hanging over my head, and a whole lot more pride in our beautiful house.  Who knows, maybe I'll even get around to putting those promised house pictures up here in the next few weeks!

This Weekend I...

...Went to a new cupcake shop that just opened in our cute little downtown main street.  I decided on a vanilla cupcake with chocolate frosting, and Colby had a chocolate cupcake with vanilla frosting.  Clearly, I have failed spectacularly at my Lenten promise.

...Bought dahlia bulbs and tulip sprouts to plant in a few weeks.  I cannot wait for that first burst of beautiful spring color!!

...Spent Saturday night filing our taxes.  Well, in all fairness, Colby put in most of the effort, but I helped when it came to itemizing our donations, and we finished with only a bare minimum of head biting.  Now we just have to sit back and wait for the almost 5 G's to come rolling in.  I kind of love tax season...

... Received my shoes from Endless AND Zappos and began testing them for The Great Shoe Quest!  Hooray!  Apparently Zappos does still ship shoes overnight?  I don't know.  I'm confused, but I'm not questioning it further.  A few of the shoes were too big, so new sizes have been ordered and results will definitely be posted by the end of this week!
 

... Surrounded myself with pink grapefruit Airborne and Kleenex.  Yesterday, I only moved from the couch four or five times, and that was just to go to the bathroom or to harass Colby into making me chicken noodle soup.  Imagine the most annoying sick person in the world, and then multiply that by ten and that's me when I have a cold.

I'm at work today, infecting the rest of the office because I'm all out of sick days and I'll be damned if I'm going to use a personal vacation day because I don't feel 100% great.  How was your weekend?