The first thing I noticed about him was how tall he was. In a room full of uniformed men, he stood a head above them all, and he had the kindest face.
I was seventeen, high school was only three months behind me and I'd never been so scared in all of my life. I think he smiled at me. Or maybe he smiled at someone sitting near me. Either way, I was instantly in love.
I mooned over him from afar. I became friends with his friends, and discovered that he had a girlfriend. I was crushed, but had the arrogance of youth. I knew my time would come.
The music was pounding, the light was dim and the room was packed with people. I wore my favorite shirt and my highest heels. I was giggling with my girlfriends. I was eighteen, with my whole life in front of me. Someone whispered in my ear, "He broke up with her today."
The next day I went on a first date with another man. He was in love, or so he said. It was the definition of a whirlwind romance. It was the definition of dysfunction. Fourteen months later, it was over. I was nineteen and my world had shattered.
Another four months passed, and I was healing. That day the sun was shining and I felt a sense of peace as I walked amongst my fellow students, beneath the tall, shady oaks. I kept my head down, sadness still in my heart. I heard him say my name. The first thing I noticed was how tall he was, and he had the kindest face. He greeted me with arms outstretched. I hugged him back and waved as he walked away.
This time he had smiled at me. Instantly I was in love.
The music was pounding, the light was dim and the room was packed with people. He was standing there on the other side of the room. "I'm going to do it tonight, or never," I whispered to a friend as I went to him. The hours passed, but they felt like minutes. He kissed me. Or I kissed him. It didn't matter in the end.
Twenty years old, and my heart was breaking. The distance is too hard. We're too young. Live your life and I'll live mine. Maybe someday... I kept believing. I had learned that the end of love isn't the end of the world.
He came to visit after Christmas. Standing side by side, as we watched the otters play in their pool, I knew that it wasn't over. He held my hand. Or I held his hand. It didn't matter in the end.
Twenty-one. Twenty-two. Years go by. The laughter outweighed the tears, but still we knew that the distance was too hard. A long distance relationship can only work when there's hope that the distance can end someday. We didn't talk about the cracks forming below the surface. It felt like the beginning of the end again, but I did nothing to stop it.
How many times can a person survive a heartbreak? How can something that hurts so much not kill you? How do people expect you to keep living? Twenty-three years old, starting over again.
Somewhere along the way life regained its glow. I could smile without hiding tears and for the first time in a long time I felt whole again.
He wanted to be friends. Three months. Five months. Six months go by. I knew that we were more than friends, but it took him much longer to realize it. He came for a visit. Standing there, watching the dogs playing in the water I knew that it wasn't over. Before he boarded the plane he leaned down to kiss me. "I love you," he whispered.
The first thing I noticed was how tall he was. In a room full of uniformed men, he stood a head above them all, and he had the happiest face. Twenty-four years old and my whole life stretched before me. "Are you ready?" she whispered as she arranged my veil.
I'm seventeen years old again as I take my first steps down the aisle. He smiles at me, and only me. I am instantly and always in love.
(Entered into the February Write-Away Contest)
Chills. I was right there with you the whole time I was reading.
Posted by: Sassafras | February 07, 2008 at 07:50 PM
I'm usually a lurker, but I just had to delurk to tell you this is simply lovely.
Posted by: Stephanie | February 07, 2008 at 07:51 PM
Absolutely gorgeous entry. Thanks for the tears....because honestly, I'm not quite emotional enough right now!
Posted by: kendra | February 07, 2008 at 08:02 PM
Absolutely beautiful. Brought tears to my eyes, but in the very best of ways. Thanks for sharing him with us. So happy you are happy.
Posted by: wordnerd | February 07, 2008 at 08:06 PM
Absolutely beautiful. Brought tears to my eyes, but in the very best of ways. Thanks for sharing him with us. So happy you are happy.
Posted by: wordnerd | February 07, 2008 at 08:07 PM
Awwwwwww that is so beautiful!!! I heart you.
Posted by: Kateastrophe | February 07, 2008 at 08:15 PM
Holy crap I'm emotional today. That just made me cry :) So sweet.
Posted by: Miriam | February 07, 2008 at 08:28 PM
amazing story, and beautiful writing :)
Posted by: janet | February 07, 2008 at 09:50 PM
Promise you'll come back and re-do in five years, and add on those extra years???
Posted by: Cat | February 07, 2008 at 10:05 PM
Wow, I feel like I just watched a great romance flick.
Posted by: Larissa | February 07, 2008 at 10:40 PM
This was a beautiful post. Absolutely beautiful.
Posted by: La | February 07, 2008 at 11:07 PM
Wow, that was so sweet and touching, you gave me goose bumps!
Posted by: Becky | February 07, 2008 at 11:07 PM
What a beautiful post, I love it.
Posted by: katelin | February 07, 2008 at 11:43 PM
Thanks for leaving me speechless and teary-eyed. This is absolutely beautiful.
Posted by: Caro | February 08, 2008 at 01:20 AM
This made tears come to my eyes, beautifully told and what a wonderful story :) xoxo
Posted by: Ashley | February 08, 2008 at 02:46 AM
Sweetheart, you have such a gift for writing. That post gave me goosebumps and tears.
What a lovely, lovely tribute to your relationship. I think you should somehow make that into something permanent and framed that you can give to Colby.
xoxo
Posted by: RisibleGirl | February 08, 2008 at 06:36 PM
chills i tell you. beautifully written post.
and your email awhile back when i was going thru my breakup, when you told me about your breakup with colby and then finding love with him again gave me hope. just wanted to say thanks :)
Posted by: Michelle & the City | February 08, 2008 at 08:48 PM
because i wasn't emotional ENOUGH today!? hah. beautiful writing girl... amazing.
xo
Posted by: Rachel | February 08, 2008 at 10:22 PM
I have nothing to add except to agree with everyone else. Beautiful story, beautifully told.
Posted by: sophie | February 09, 2008 at 03:04 AM
I gots me a big ol' lump in my throat.
What a beautiful way to tell your love story, Ang.
RG and I think alike - this would be a lovely gift to Colby. Presented to him for his own.
Of course, I also think this story could be published. Great writing!
xo
Posted by: Anonymous G | February 09, 2008 at 07:44 PM
You made me cry too! That was beautiful. I agree with RisibleGirl, you should somehow make that permanent!
Posted by: Katie | February 09, 2008 at 07:56 PM
Great! You got me when I'm hormonal and I just had tears fall into my tea.
Posted by: Momo Fali | February 09, 2008 at 10:02 PM
That was beautiful. Very moving.
Posted by: Fraulein N | February 11, 2008 at 01:07 AM
Absolutely beautiful, my dear. As I've said before, you are a wonderful writer -- absolutely overflowing with talent. I cried to read the story I watched develop over the past 6 1/2 years. I'm so happy for you that the tall, handsome, uniformed man has a kind face that you'll see for the rest of your life...
Posted by: Annie G. | February 11, 2008 at 02:56 PM
Feels like we were right there with you!
Posted by: Michelle at Scribbit | February 20, 2008 at 06:38 PM
I loved this.
Posted by: Cici | March 19, 2008 at 07:58 AM
Loved the ending. So very sweet!!
Posted by: Princess Pointful | May 19, 2008 at 08:21 PM