New York: Part Two The Blister Edition

Sorry for not updating yesterday.  I got distracted by the bright and shiny fall television premieres and spent the better part of the evening updating my DVR and watching celebrities being flung around the dance floor followed up by an hour and a half of connections, soul mates, and roses plus the SEXIEST BACHELOR YET as we were told approximately 67 times throughout the course of the evening.  What does it say about the crop of bachelorettes that I find Jane Seymour, who is well into her fifties, about five frillion times more gorgeous than any of them?  My God that woman has ridiculously good genes.

 

Anyway, I believe when we left our fearless travelers, they had just settled down for their long winter's nap.  Except that it was summer, and I think it was about 8 hours too late in the day to be considered a nap.  Brittany and I had a lot of issues with our apartment, but not enough to keep us from getting a solid night of sleep before we made our way back out onto the bustling streets of New York to find Carolyn at Port Authority.

With the help of big wavy arms and shouts into our cell phones from opposite corners of the intersection, we eventually did all make it onto the same corner just outside Port Authority.  With the bachelorette count up to three, the weekend was officially kicked off.  And this is where our lack of picture taking starts to make me really sad, because the first thing we did was grab lunch at the Coffee-Bar Restaurant, which some of you may have recognized as the sports bar that Carrie and Co. visit in Sex and the City in hopes of discovering an untapped pool of attractive, straight men.  The Coffee-Bar Restaurant is not, in fact, a sports bar in actuality, but is a somewhat overpriced restaurant with herb cheese fries that I would possibly kill for.  They were just that good.

Since it was a party weekend we started things off with some mimosas and then hit a few stores around Union Square before heading over to Chinatown.  Chinatown is a little like Super Shuttle, except without the positive points.  I always say I'll never go back, but then the lure of cheap purses and jewelry lures me in again.  And it's not even like I actually want anything that's for sale.  Honestly, I mean it this time when I say I'm not going back.  For serious!  Unless he tells me he's really, really sorry and I can tell he means it...  Anyway, I did end up buying a cheap fake leather watch that has already lost the glass covering over the watch face, so that was exciting.

In an effort to kill time before Katie's flight came in that evening, we decided we'd head down to Little Italy to find some dessert.  Because it's not like we had just eaten 10,000 calories in cheesy herb fries less than two hours before.  So we found the same little bakery that we fell in mad, passionate love with last July, and drank hot chocolate (It was cold in there!  And we were eating ice cream!) and ate our desserts at what we thought was a leisurely pace, but in reality only killed about 30 minutes.  Why is life always like that?  If I had really needed those 30 minutes they would have flown by in a heart beat.  Stupid time.

So, we asked ourselves, what do you do when you still have hours to fill and a gaping hole in your New York City itinerary?  Visit the Guggenheim?  Head up to the top of the Empire State Building?  Take the ferry out to the Statue of Liberty?  No, my friends, you head to the Museum of Sex.

Oh yeah.

I tell you what.  I learned more about furry animal costumes, balloon popping, and the history of porn that day than I EVER wanted to know.  I also learned that there are people who get all dressed up and play Nurse and Patient, but they don't stop with the costumes.  Oh no, there are surgical implements involved.  And IV bags.  And needles.  Y'all, things stop being fun when someone wants to CUT ME OPEN.

I have titled this one, Making Mom and Dad Proud.

So, that was... an experience.  An utterly bizarre experience that still haunts me and causes me to scrutinize each person I pass on the street.  That one with the patent leather shoes likes to play Nurse.  That one with the furry coat likes to be a giant blue bunny named Luscious.  And that big guy with the bald hair likes to sit in a giant highchair and pee in a diaper.  It's really incredibly disturbing, and I can't turn it off...

Once we left the museum it was getting pretty close to the time that Katie's plane would be arriving, so we headed back to the apartment to wait for her to get in before leaving for dinner.  Except we hadn't heard from Katie yet that day.  And the cell number I had for her had been disconnected.  And all that we knew was that she was flying into JFK... at some point...   About 30 minutes passed beyond her supposed landing time.  And then another 30.  All we could do was sit in the apartment and stare at each other in complete helplessness.  We couldn't leave, because although she had the address, we had the key.  If we left the key with the doorman then she'd have to figure out how to get across the Brooklyn Bridge on her own, and that seemed cruel.  Just at the point when I was reaching the really worried mom stage, my phone rang.  And it was KATIE!!  Who was calling from PENNSYLVANIA!!

Long story short (as if I'm capable) there was a problem on the runway at JFK and they had to divert the flight and had no idea when they'd be getting into NYC.  Dude.  Not cool.  So the Bachelorette Council met and we determined that the Brooklyn Bridge would just have to wait for our next visit, and we would instead eat at an Italian restaurant in Manhattan--I think maybe this one?--that Katie would be able to locate easily on her own whenever her plane landed.

And so with a decision made (yay!) we got ourselves all tarted up and treated ourselves to a cab ride in an effort to protect our delicate little well-heeled feet.  Which turned out to be a good move considering the treatment they would receive later--ah, but no skipping ahead!  We met up with some of Brittany's NYC resident friends and had dinner and wine, but still no Katie.  So we moved on to our next stop, cupcakes at the Sugar Sweet Sunshine bakery.  And still no pictures!  So mad at myself!  This was the cutest little place, and the cupcakes definitely rivaled Magnolia's.  I highly recommend it, and just wish you could bear witness to the sheer joy on my face when I bit into my Ooey Gooey cupcake... sigh...  And this is where Katie at long last entered the picture.

Once we had her in tow, and she'd eaten a Lemon Yummy cupcake that may have possibly been better than my chocolate one (sacrilege!!) we departed for a martini bar that was "just a short walk away."

Ha.  HA I say! 

I think I am not exaggerating a smidge bit when I say that we walked for at least 20 minutes, with a little moment of panic thrown in when we thought we were going the wrong way, before we finally reached our final destination for the night, the Pegu Club.  Oh, and vindication!  I just looked it up on Google Maps--if we walked directly from the bakery to the club in the shortest line possible (which we did not) we would have walked 1.1 miles.  IN THREE INCH STILETTOS!!!   See, no exaggeration.  Zero.  Carrie Bradshaw, my hat is off to you, but if that's what it takes to be a stylish New York woman I do not want to BE you.

Thank the good lord that although there was a $300 bottle minimum to sit at a table, our hostess took pity on us and found a little sofa tucked away that we all crowded around to order our obscenely overpriced drinks and attempt to stay awake.  The drinks were damn good though, I'll give them that much.

And that's how I spent Day 1 of my New York Bachelorette party.  Still having fun?  I'll have the next installment up tomorrow evening, so if you want to hear more about how I ate and drank my way through Manhattan, check back then.  Root beer floats, margaritas, and chocolate brownies with Neopolitan ice cream--plus the Metropolitan Museum of Art tossed in for a little dash of culture!

Comments

[Brittany]

Yay!! Tomorrow is my favorite part! I can't wait to see how you recap that craziness!

And just so you know, I REALLY WANT A CUPCAKE

[rachel]

aew! that is so cool about the cakes being similar! I was inspired by one on the Knot... were you?

[Caro]

We had such a good time and I am absolutely loving how you are reliving everything. Sounds pretty dead on to me :) Yay for NYC!

[Michelle]

OK - if I ever visit NYC I WILL go to the Museum of Sex, because really? How cool is that!?!

(And I'm jealous that you went to the "sports bar" they had on S&TC. That was such a great episode, too!)

[The Incubator]

Oh . . . yes, you make us so very proud!!!! It's so nice to hear these parts of our children's journey on THE WORLDWIDE INTERNET!!!!! Thank you for sharing:)

[Becky]

Yeah, I think Carrie and company walked two blocks at most in between shooting. I don't see how they could walk that much in those shoes. But then again, I've never owned or even tried on Manolos, so maybe they are worth their price?

[Clink]

Omigod, the herb fries at Coffee Shop are absolutely to die for. As are Sugar Sweet Sunshine's cupcakes (I have proclaimed many times that they clearly bake them with crack.)

[wordnerd]

Have I told you how goshdarn jealous I am of this trip? Because I am.