This Thing We Call "Writing"

I've been thinking a lot lately about what I mean when I say, "I want to be a writer".  Because, you see, I say that as though I'm not already a writer, but in a sense, aren't we all writers?  When we put pen to paper, or more often in this day and age, put fingers to the keyboard, aren't we writing?  Whether it's a letter, a diary entry, an essay, a fiction piece, a poem, almost all of us have been "writers" at some point in our lives.  So, there must be something beyond simply "writing" that I'm dreaming about.

I had an opportunity to write at a fantastic finance website, Wisebread, a site that I still read from time to time today.  I wrote there for a few weeks and while at first the excitement of writing in an official capacity was enough to keep my interest, eventually it just became work, and not enjoyable work.  Coming up with another way to save money, typing up my entry, editing, finding an appropriate header image... it wasn't what I wanted to be writing.  When I was in college, I thought what I really wanted in the Air Force was to be a Public Affairs officer, to write for a living.  I was disappointed at the time when I was selected as a Personnel officer, but I know now, in retrospect that I would have been miserable in any kind of journalistic capacity.  Covering base current events and Air Force policies would have been as dull as dishwater and again, not what I wanted to be writing.

I write on this blog on various topics, all of them things that I care about or find interesting or entertaining in some way.  I control the frequency of my writing and the subject matter, and even after almost two years of tapping away at the keyboard I still find my blog extremely rewarding.  And yet, I haven't felt the kind of credibility from this that would allow me to call myself a writer--probably because when I blog I'm not carefully crafting entries, I'm not mulling over word choices, I'm not writing with a purpose in mind, I'm just writing what I feel, when I feel it, in whatever words tumble out of my brain and onto the page.

Writing, and the satisfaction that can come from it, is defined differently by everyone.  If when you put words on a page, and feel satisfaction from what you've written, then I suppose, to me, that is "writing".  For some, blogging is their art, and they do it beautifully.  For some, it's journalism, and for some it's poetry.  When I wrote my essays for Girls at War, I felt like a writer, when I came up with an idea for a novel and started writing, I felt like a writer, and when I received my first acceptance email stating that one of my short stories had been selected for publication, that was the moment I felt that I could say that I was a writer.  I've started sketching an outline for another novel that may actually even get finished some day, a skeleton of a story that's been swirling in my head for months now, and it excites me that I am once again creating characters, situations, back stories, romantic entanglements, friendships, and emotions.  Now I know that for me, writing is telling a story of my own making. 

It seems obvious, but it was truly bothering me that for so long I've had this aspiration, and yet I never knew exactly what I wanted.  I've always known that storytelling was what I enjoyed best, but there are so many amazing storytellers already in the world that it seemed daunting and naive to expect that I could ever count myself amongst them, even in the smallest capacity.  But now, knowing that it's what I want to do, and having been accepted once, I think I finally have the courage that I needed to break down my reservations about ever trying.  And even if it never happens for me, even if I get nothing but rejections from every agent and publisher I ever query, at least I'll know that I've tried for what I really wanted and found fulfillment and enjoyment in the process.

"And the world will be better for this
That one man, scorned and covered with scars
Still strove with his last ounce of courage
To reach the unreachable star."
~From my most recent musical obsession, Man of La Mancha

Comments

[Cat]

If writing, in whatever capacity, is fulfilling for you, then I would say that is what makes you a writer.

(Although I AM still so impressed that you are actually published!)

[Jass]

I applaud you for your bravery Ang, that is really amazing. Follow your dreams they say, and you will get far. :-)

I have been thinking for sometime now about writing an autobiography. One day I hope I find the time and bravery. :-)

By the way, I started reading Memory Keeper's Daughter. Two thumbs up so far!

[Anonymous G]

Well said. Well WRITTEN!

You go and follow your dreams. I KNOW you'll succeed!

xoxo

[maggie]

Here's a quotation I keep tacked above my computer: "As things stand now, I am going to be a writer. I'm not sure that I'm going to be a good one or even a self-supporting one, but until the dark thumb of fate presses me to the dust and says "You are nothing," I will be a writer." - Hunter S. Thompson (when he was 21 years old). Yes, sort of dark and ominous, but meaningful to me!

[Caro]

I know many people who aspire to be a 'writer' in a published sense of the word. I think the difference between you and them is that you have tried your hand at different types of writing [Wisebread etc..] and have come to the conclusion that writing stories is where your heart lies. Follow that desire and dream, I have no doubt that it will take you further than imagined!

[RisibleGirl]

GO.FOR.IT.

I wrote about The Astronaut Farmer in my blog. It's all about following his dream (very good message in the story, LOVED.IT!)

You're a wonderful writer, and I think you'll be very successful at it.

Go!

[Annieofbluegables]

Hi Angie!
I found a comment you made on my blog, and came to your blog to see who you are.
I too aspire to write and have written two children's books, which are just that, written and illustrated, but not published or anything else. I would love to move further, but have NO idea where to go next.
You are an amazing writer and I love your blog!
Glad to make your acquaintance and friendship.
a