I Have Got to Get My Hands on Some Ambien

Okay, I'm going to go with the bullet format that has been so popular with the bloggers lately since I have a number of topics to cover and no witty segues at my disposal.

• So, has anyone else, firmly in the grips of delirium brought on by insomnia, decided at 1:30 in the morning that they would give themselves a fabulous Reese Witherspoon haircut?
  
  I'm just wondering, because I'm thinking of forming a support group: People Who Just Can't Put the Scissors Down.  I like to think that because I watch a lot of makeover shows, I have a clue what I'm doing when it comes to my own hair.  Unfortunately my early morning attempts ended up looking more like this:
  
  At this point all I can do is tug on my hair constantly in an effort to speed the growing process and then get myself to a trained professional for damage control in a couple of weeks.  I think I need a babysitter when Colby is gone.
• Speaking of Colby, (Hey, look, a segue!  That was unexpected!) I've always thought my little charmer was pretty great in the romance department.  He's very good about sending beautiful flowers when I'm least expecting it, making choices that quite often stray outside of the safe, yet somewhat boring, dozen red roses comfort zone.  He calls as often as he possibly can when he's away.  He surprises me with mushy comments when I really need to hear them and little presents from time to time, and his birthday and Christmas presents are always a big hit.  But then last night we had this conversation, and I was forced to question all of my previously held beliefs about his romantic tendencies:
  Colby: "So, I was talking to Richard, and he has one of those Garmin GPS things that you've been talking about getting."
  Me: "Oh, yeah, I think that's the one that Lori sent me a link to.  So, does this mean you're finally coming around?"
  "Well, I was thinking, if we can find one that works outdoors for hiking as well, maybe we can go ahead and get it for each other's birthdays."
  Silence.
  "For our birthdays?"
  "Well, yeah.  I mean, you've been talking about wanting one forever and I thought it would be good..."
  "For our birthdays?"
  "I thought you wanted one!  You've been talking about it for months!"
  "Well, I do want one.  But not for my birthday.  That's a terrible birthday gift!  You're supposed to get fun things that you wouldn't buy for yourself for your birthday!"
  "I'm so confused."
  "Have you ever seen Father of the Bride?  When she calls off the wedding because her fiance gets her--"
  "Are you comparing this to the blender???"
  "Well... yes."
  "But this is completely different, you want a GPS!"
  "Well, I'm sure she wanted a blender, but not as a wedding present from her future husband!"
  "I don't understand you at all."
  "Yes, you have a lot to learn."
• And now, for the biggest news of all:  I am officially going to be a published and paid author.  And I don't mean published like I'm about to hit "publish now" and then go eat a sandwich as a reward for actually posting a blog, but published like a group of people read something I wrote, said to themselves, "This isn't half bad," and subsequently sent me this email:
  
  "Congratulations on winning Second Place for your story "Working Title". Fog City Writers would like to recognize your work with a check for $X and publication in our 2007 Fog City Review.  In addition, can you please provide us with a soft copy in MS Word or WordPerfect so that we may post the story on our website.  Once again congratulations."
  
  I also received an Honorable Mention for the same story, for which I win nothing other than the comforting knowledge that at least one other person sucked more than I did, in the New Millenium Award for Fiction.  These being the first real literary contests I've ever entered, I am officially in a state of shock, and completely convinced that I have hit my peak at the age of 24 and will never write anything of comparable quality or consequence again in my life.  However, hopefully the publishing credit this provides me will help me find an agent someday and get some terrible drivel published about love, life, and the pursuit of happiness in a pair of great shoes.

Comments

[Cate]

I think that his gift idea is very thoughtful.

[Jen]

I would love a GPS from my husband for my birthday!!

[Lisa]

In the movie, she probably said that she "needed a blender". Not that she "wanted a blender". I think there is a difference.

[kate]

Yeah, I'd have agree with you. If you got the GPS for both of you it would have to be to celebrate a lame holiday, not a birthday or Christmas. And I don't even like gifts. There is just something about getting a GPS or blender vs. shoes, jewelry, etc. And in general I don't think gifts should be shared :)
Sorry to hear about the hair...the last time I cut my own bangs I think I was 8 or so. The visions of that are still burned in my mind. I learned young.

[Angela]

I would just like to point out that the comments from Cate, Jen, and Lisa are all fraudulent, and inform you that interestingly enough, all of their email addresses included the name "Colby" in some way, shape or form. Interesting, is it not!

[Jenn]

My husband got himself a GPS for his birthday last year and we go geocaching with it. I like geocaching, but I surely would not want one for my birthday. (Sorry Cate, Jen and Lisa)(And Colby)

Oh! And congratulations on being published and paid! Maybe you can get hair extensions for your bangs now! ;)

[anne]

That's AWESOME about being published, how fantastic! Congrats. Actually, not really surprised as your blog is really entertaining. :)

As for the GPS, well, it's a nice thought but I think I probably agree that birthday's are reserved for frivolous things that you wouldn't buy yourself. But his thought was very good! Don't toss him back!

hugs,
a

[shopper]

The hair thing cracked me up. I did the same thing just last week. But my bangs were down to my chin and now they're just a tiny bit shorter BUT they won't fit in my freakin' ponytail anymore. ugh! I'm so stooopid. I even have the proper tools by the way. I bought some thinning sheers at Dollar Tree. Can you believe that? But my self haircuts are still crappy.

But seriously, watch out if you ever have kids. It transfers to them. I cut Kidlet's hair like crazy when she was a toddler. But I apparently did so well that I got tons of compliments...even from my high dollar hairdresser. She never had scraggly kid hair either. :)

[m]

LOL, I'd still get lost WITH a GPS!!!

Congrats on being published!

[Anonymous G]

As I was making my way through this post, I was thinking what a good read it was. I thought I'd leave a comment complimenting you on your amusing and entertaining style of writing.

And now you're getting PUBLISHED and PAID for it!?!

GO, Ang!

GO (and don't get lost with your GPS), Ang!

[Caro]

Congratulations on getting published and paid! I knew it was only a matter of time ;-)

And what exactly did to your hair, darling? Did you really chop your bangs? Oh dear...

[sophie]

Sorry about the bangs, but at least they will grow. No more self cutting before the wedding, okay?

Awesome news about the publishing!! Go you!!!

[TasterSpoon]

See, I don't think the problem is with the GPS idea. I think it was a problem of presentation.

What if Colby had put it in a pretty pink box full of rose petals, and a card that said, "I'd be lost without you!"?

Totally romantic.

A pre-birthday, "hey, how about we go halfsies on a practical mapping device"?

Not romantic.

[Becky]

Whoo-hoo! That's great on getting published! I love Reese's haircut as well, and since I'm currently growing mine out, I'm jealous at how celebs still always have fabulous grow-out 'dos. I wonder how much better I would look if I had access to a full-time hair stylist, make-up artist and personal trainer.

[RisibleGirl]

WOW WOW WOW! you got published! I'm SO proud of you!!!!!!!

Keep away from the scissors. I did that after the head bonking incident. My hair was bugging me (probably just a distraction from the jerking around, dontchaknow) and I cut like 6 inches off my hair.

Yes, yes I did. This is what lead to getting my hair cut super short.

The hairdresser said, WOW- you really went to town, didn't you?

Kinda embarrassing, but at least I have a good 'doo now!

And you're so right about the GPS not being a birthday present. Tell him that you're getting yourself a GPS for HIS birthday present because you know how happy it will make him to know that you'll never get lost again.

[Steph.]

Oh my gosh! Congrats on being published! That's amazing! (And sorry I'm so behind on my blog reading/commenting. Sounds like you've been busy around there!)