I'm All Out of Love

I've never understood how anyone could abuse an animal.  When I picked up Jack and Ellie at the shelter there was so much love, confusion, and fear in their eyes.  They didn't understand what had been going on in their lives, and I made it my mission to give them the best home I possibly could.  To always keep them warm and well fed, supplied with plenty of superfluous toys and cute collars.  I would discipline them when necessary and teach them how to be the best puppies they could possibly be.

But last night I nearly murdered Ellie.  I completely understood the breaking point that someone can reach that would drive them to just toss a dog out on the side of the road and leave.  All I could do was hurl her into her crate and slam the door shut and then cry tears of rage and frustration while Jack tried to climb on top of my head.

I cannot housebreak that dog.  It has been almost a year and she still has "accidents" in the house two or three times a week.  If I don't take her outside every 30 minutes to an hour she'll just go right there in front of me--looking me straight in the eyes.  I know that she is capable of holding it.  She stays in a crate while I'm at work all day and only one time has she ever gone to the bathroom in it.  I still can't leave her out of the crate at night because she can't keep herself calm enough outside of the crate to sleep through the night, and she harrasses Jack the entire night.  Not to mention the fact that I can't trust her to not pee on the carpet all through the night.

I never had that problem with Jack.  Once he was crate trained I can think of two times in the past year that he's peed in the house.  After he hit about eight months he was able to go a full night plus sleep in in the mornings without having to go and he's able to hold his biznass for as long as it takes me to get his butt out the door.

I'm at my wits end with Ellie.  I've tried everything--I've read every article there is on housebreaking and I've tried all of the techniques.  I've tried treats and praise when she goes outside, I catch her in the act and discipline her immediately, I've tried hanging a bell on the door so she can let me know when she needs to go out.  I've even tried the "wrong" way to do things, rubbing her nose in it and telling her no, spanking her after the fact, everything.  And she's a very smart dog.  She knows that what she's doing is wrong, but it's like she just doesn't care--if I don't take her outside the second that it comes into her head that she needs to go to the bathroom, she'll just go where ever it is that she's standing.  I don't know what else to do.

When I get home from work, I dread letting her out of her crate because I know it's only a matter of time before she makes a mess on the carpet.  I go through at least four papertowel rolls a week and can only imagine the horrifying state that the carpet pad must be in at this point.  I dread moving her into our new house because I know that within weeks she'll have peed all over the carpet.

I love my dog, but I've considered just bringing her back to the pound and admitting defeat.  Yet I can't bring myself to do that, to give up on her again, to lose my little cuddler who loves to come sit next to me and stick her nose under the couch cushion.  When she's not pissing all over the house and being a general spastic pain in the ass, she really is a pretty great dog.  I just wish that I could go a couple of days without having to wipe up after her messes and that I could leave her out at night without any worry.

Can someone give Cesar Millan my address please?  I'm desperate.

Comments

[Dawn]

I have absolutely nothing constructive to say, but I'm so sorry. I can only imagine how frustrating this must be, and I hope that things somehow get better!

[The Old Warrior]

Some dogs just cannot be inside. Some dogs are also a bit psychotic and not trainable to qualify as domesticated.

Some children can be the same way and the authorities take a dim view of you leaving them on the side of the road or taking them to the pound. However, that's what you will eventually have to do with her. The question is only how much sanity you have left and what cost capitulation.

We eventually had to either take you or Lucky to the pound and for some reason the incubator decided you were the not only the cutest but most trainable. I was going to Saudi Arabia so I let her make the final decision.

[M]

LOL. Well, for what it's worth, Ace was known as "Ace the Wonderpuppy," and Roxy is generally referred to as "Roxy the Retard." She is also a nutso spastic submissive pee-er. I leave the kitchen door open for her whenever I'm home... which is fine, since we live in a tropical paradise, except for the mosquitos which are eating me alive. (Working on getting a screen door with doggy flap.) Granted, she sleeps peacefully at the foot of my bed or in her crate with the door open, and she's gotten much better. (Won't go inside if she has a readily available choice.) But I know what you mean with looking you in the eyeballs and peeing in the house. Roxy's favorite spot was the dining room. UGH!!! (I did replace the carpeting entirely!)

Think maybe a doggy door at the new house and not letting her in all the rooms might help? Dogs ARE pretty adaptable to inclement weather. Maybe she should be an outdoor dog. You could put her in the garage when it gets really cold. Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself, but there is NO way I could've dealt with unhousebroken puppy and baby at the same time.

[M]

PS, don't be a sucker like me and fall for Bark Busters. WASTE of MONEY!!!

[Airhead]

Ang, I have NOTHING constructive to say. Our dog was already housebroken by the time we got him, and he's had MAYBE two accidents in the eight years that we've had him. And one of those was because the person taking care of him thought we were coming hom a day earlier than we actually were (he is the reason we employ the doggy hotel now). But I think M might have a point about Ellie; maybe she should be an outside dog, even if it's painful at first.

[Becky]

I agree that when you move into the house, the dog door might be the key to helping the problem. My dachsund, Kona, will always have accidents because they have smaller bladders and I also think he's worse from his fall (the vets say he might have a spinal compression that interrupts his neurological flow).

I used to get pissed but I think it's a little different in that I don't think Kona can help it b/c I'm just not at home to take him out every 4 - 5 hours, nor do I want to do it at midnight.

A very long comment without any helpful advice -- I'm sorry:(

[sophie]

The one thing that saved the dog that an ex and I adopted was the book, "How to Housebreak Your Dog in 7 Days." It had really strict scheduling examples for working dog moms and stay at home dog moms. Given that my ex and I worked the weirdest schedule combination possible--he left the house at 3am and I left at 6am, I had to get creative and make out a schedule that fit our screwed up one. Now, it took more than the advertised 7 days, and it required that I get up THIRTY minutes earlier in the morning, but it did work. I really thought I was going to have to break up with that boyfriend over the damned dog (ended up having to do it for far more unacceptable behaviors).

Good luck!

[shani]

you might just have to leave her outside. it's not worth ruining your new house. or do what belle and tisha used to do: stay confined to one or two rooms.