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« Meltdown #1 | Main | Random Snippets From My Tired, Tired Brain »

August 29, 2006



frankly, i've always found that love means having to constantly say you're sorry, or constantly demanding an apology from the other party!


I don't think that our generation really knows how to date and take the time to get to know someone. Because in reality, the first few dates are like job interviews in that you're on your best behavior and the flaws don't come out. Or, maybe that's why we're so quick to judge because if we see such things from the get-go, then imagine what it will be like when they let their guard down.

I can somewhat understand the stalkerish theory and it's hard to say, not knowing how long your friend was dating this girl. But, my co-worker was telling me yesterday how she went on a second date with a guy to the Mariners/Red Sox game. She wasn't sure if she really liked him, but wanted to give him another chance. Well, the guy apparently showed up dressed to the nines, had the best seats and then had his friend in Mariners marketing put some message up on the scoreboard to her. She felt like that was "too much" for just a second date, and I have to admit that I probably would've felt the same way. It's a catch-22, I guess for both genders, in that's a fine line between being sweet and stalkerish...though I guess if we really like the person, then it's not stalkerish.

Okay and I keep going here b/c there's another point. I did a post once on trivial dating dealbreakers b/c I think we all have them, like in Seinfeld or Chandler from Friends. The chewing with the mouth open would turn me off, especially if I just met him, because it shows a lack of manners and I would wonder if he would have any manners when it came how he treats me or others -- not to mention that I'd be embarassed to take him to meet my mom or to a company event...


When you're in love, the flaws endear you to the person; when you're out of love, the flaws become all you see. At least that's always the way I've seen it. Don't ever settle. Life is too short.


Ugh! My therapist used to talk about reading her daughter stories that enedd with "....happily ever after." She then added, "because they worked really hard on their communication and always did this that and the other to make it work."

I'm hoping I have finally figured out how much work it takes and the the deal with the right person is that you know it is worth the effort.


Amen, sister! You do have to apologize all the time in real relationships, and you do have to work at it, and you are going to make mistakes . . . and so is the other person. And that's all normal and natural. And if your buddy/buddies are getting all bent out of shape about it, then they're probably just not ready for a relationship. That's all :-)

The Incubator

It even sounds good in cyberspace!!!!!


I found myself in the wonderful position of meeting my other half on the internet - back when it was unusual to do so.

People often ask us - when the story gets told - "what was it like - meeting somebody from the internet?", and our answer is always "much easier!"

We had already got past all the crap - the rubbish you talk about on the first few dates. We already "knew" each other, and meeting really just confirmed that we were who we had portrayed ourselves as.

Of course since then everybody seems to meet their partners on the internet - it's become a "normal" place to meet people.


I believe in the stalkerish theory, good for saying it. You CAN call too much...but then again, if he calls back (bc he likes you!), what's the problem? If he REALLY liked her, it wouldn't bother him. I have definitely seen girls say the SAME thing about guys (me being one of them!) and truth of the matter was I just didn't like them.

As for flaws...if your really like/love the guy, you see past them. Easily. And you dont have to be with him for that long to "be able" to see past them. They just won't bother you.

It's all about chemistry and connection in the beginning!

Heather B.

Loved this.

It's so damn true. And though I want someone who is 'perfect' for me, I also want someone whose annoyances I can look past. I'm annoying and obsessive and verbose, therefore not perfect, but would want someone to get past that and love me anyway. That to me is really perfect.


Very good post!

It goes both ways in a relationship. If you can look past the flaws, loving someone should be natural. Relationships are work sometimes, but you learn so much as you grow old, you know what becomes important and what doesn't.


I fell in head over heels in love w. my husband. I actually dated him once, spent a weekend w. him and never left. We got to know each other in the hardest way possible: living together right away (not something I reccomend). We all come w. warts. The key is being honest. And, honesty is not always pretty or easy.

And, you have to know when to fight, when to give in, when to say sorry. it is HARD work.

Great post!


you have wisdom beyond your years! but i've said that before, i think a few years ago. lol

relationships are hard work. but people are not twins of each other and they learn their ways of doing things for as many years as they spent living before they met the other. and they'll continue to learn and think of things differently than you... because they're individuals... as someone mentioned, you know what's important and what's not.

i think that guy who doesn't like the girl calling just isn't as interested in her as she is in him. period. if he liked her, it wouldn't bother him that she was calling. he'd want to hang out with her. just my two cents.

great post!


Awwwww. This was sweet. And I like Grey's Anatomy. My weird pet peeve has to do with forks- they have to be loaded in the dishwasher tines DOWN. Spoons go handle down, forks go handles up. How hard is that??? Fortunately, dork boy loads his dishwasher the same way. Yep, I checked! hahahahaha


Everyone has had some great comments here. I'd like to add one more though... (and this is NOT directed at you, my dear!)

Don't ever settle for someone that is settling for you. Does that make sense? I've seen people stay with someone who doesn't absolutely worship the ground they walk on and it makes me sad.

I've been in a luke-warm, "well, I guess we can be together because it's convenient" or whatever. Ick.

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