Sometimes I go through stages where I'm almost overwhelmed with maternal instincts. In the past I've quelled these instincts by getting a dog, but I feel that I've reached my limit with two volatile and completely insane furry animals in an 800 square foot area. The Puppies are indeed getting better about listening to me--when I have a treat in my hand, or at least within reach--but they still are definitely masters of their own domain. Which I'm fine with, as long as their domain is limited to outside and I don't have to chase after Ellie who has found another sock to bait me with. And I think that my goal is not so much to bend them to my will so much as it is to slowly but surely whittle their domain down to nothing so that eventually when they're masters of their own domain it really doesn't mean jack. Ha! Fooled them!
Anyway, a coworker recently gave birth in quite possible the most insanely easy pregnancy I've ever heard of in my entire life. She was never nauseous, no insane cravings to speak of, a touch of insomnia, but really the only way you'd know she was pregnant was the fact that it looked like she had a beachball stuck up her BDU blouse. She never had any complaints and didn't ever seem to be in the least bit stressed about the pregnancy. When she went in for her 8 month appointment a couple of weeks ago she was 50% effaced and her doctor said he didn't expect she'd make it to her next appointment (this is her first child, mind you!). Luckily we had her shower planned for that weekend, so that was taken in care of in time, but Monday was her next appointment and she did indeed make it to the appointment, she just didn't make it home. Her doctor informed her that she was having contractions two minutes apart AND SHE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT. She didn't feel a dadburn thing! So she headed over to the hospital and calmly called everyone to let us know that she wouldn't be at work the next morning. Um, yes, I think that's acceptable dear. She then proceeded to have a 5 hour labor in which she never felt a single contraction and had an epidural so that she wouldn't have to feel the 8 pound girl child bursting forth from a pea sized hole. When we went to see her the next day she looked tired, but wasn't sore at all and proudly showed off her beautiful baby girl. I think if all pregnancies and births worked like that there would be about 75% more people populating the earth.
So we admired little Raegan, smelled her head, curled her hand around our fingers, watched her squawk and turn all red and angry when we unswaddled her to see the whole package--it was great, and I definitely felt those maternal instincts kicking in full force, but mainly because I knew at the end of the visit I'd be able to hand over that tiny little person and go back to my own life where my biggest responsibility is remembering to take Ellie outside every 30 minutes since her bladder apparently has the ability to hold no more than a sip of water. And I know that when I've had enough of Jack's antics and misbehaving I can just toss him outside and let him stick his head between the slats of the balcony and watch the world go by while I catch up on Gilmore Girls reruns.
So, as mushy gushy as infants make me feel, I have a feeling that it will be a GOOD LONG TIME before I'm ready to introduce one of them into the world. Because I'm not sure, but I think throwing babies into kennels and locking them in there while you go out shoe shopping is probably frowned upon, in our society at least.

god, i hope i get that lucky. lol i'm on the right track anyway - no sickness, no cravings - now if I can master the no contractions part, i'd be a happy camper. I'll live in that blissful dream for a few more months, I think. And even though I'm having one, I've always been one of those girls who was glad to hand the baby back and go home to my world of no responsibility (I don't even have a dog!)..
hugs,
a
Posted by: anne | May 12, 2006 at 08:43 PM
Gah. A dog is far too much responsibility for me these days. So, a kid, ya... That's outa the question. At least for the near future. I keep joking with M that he needs to put some spermies in the icecube tray and go get snipped.
I just have to remember to remind my guests that the icecubes aren't for consuming.
Posted by: NetChick | May 12, 2006 at 09:23 PM
Personally, I think dogs are a LOT more work than kids. Well, except for the giving birth part.
Raegan is SUCH a cute name. With that name, I imagine her with dark hair and blue eyes. I'm probably totally way off.
Posted by: RisibleGirl | May 15, 2006 at 05:09 PM