I Am Very Annoyed Right Now

So, I’m thinking of renaming this website “The Place Where Angela Bitches a Lot and People are Really Afraid of Her and Mainly Wish She’d Just Shut the Hell Up and Get Over Herself”. But I think that’s a little too long. I’ll need to come up with something catchier than that.

But here’s the thing, I don’t want to bitch incessantly to the people I know in real life because, I don’t know, they seem to like talking to me and a little bitching can go a long way. So instead I smile and laugh and tell them that they’re pretty and pay them to be seen in public with me, and then I come here and I whinge on and on about my problems because quite frankly nobody has to read this except me. Oh, and you guys are really nice when I bitch, and that makes me feel good and cry sometimes and so really you’re all just enablers.

Anyway, yesterday was One of Those Days. One of those days that you really wish you would have just stayed in bed because even though nothing catastrophic happened, the things that did happen were very annoying and by the end of the day when you think you hear a door opening in your supposedly EMPTY, ASIDE FROM YOURSELF AND THE DOGS, apartment you just think to yourself, “Well, I hope if the robber kills me it doesn’t hurt”. Yes, this thought actually went through my head. But then I realized that it was the next door neighbors being very loud with the opening and closing of the door and I would probably not have the pleasure of being murdered in my sleep that night.

List of Very Annoying Things:

1) People who drive 25 miles per hour in the 35 mile per hour zone. 35 mph is not fast, it is a lovely, comfortable speed and when it is the limit of how fast we are allowed to being hurling ourselves forward we should take full advantage of every single mile per hour.

2) My dogs. I love them. Dearly. But they both nearly ended up in the trash compactor last night what with the roughhousing and the crying and the peeing on carpets. Jack has learned that if he saves up a bunch of little dribbles when going outside that he can ring the bell all night long and keep going out. I have now taken to ignoring him when he rings the bell, which sort of defeats the purpose of it as a housebreaking tool. Ellie on the other hand has no concept of the bell and will only pay attention to it when Jack is ringing it, but then when we go outside she becomes distracted by things like cars, rocks, and light breezes. Upon returning inside she gets bored so she goes and pees in a corner. WHAT AM I DOING WRONG??

3) Yahoo! Mail. It’s really frustrating to spend valuable time typing up a very witty response to an email, pressing send and getting a freaking word verification screen. This has never happened before—when did this start?? And then, I can’t even read all of the letters correctly so I get it wrong, Yahoo! tells me that I’m a spammer and that my email has not been sent and a draft has not been saved. Doesn’t that just seem unnecessarily mean? I’m very delicate right now. I can’t take this kind of treatment. (Also, I’m very sorry Dawn, I tried to write you back about how CRAZY that is about Alex and how much I also love Izzie’s hair, but Yahoo! hates me, it could not be helped.)

4) Stupid Boys. Colby told me when he broke up that two sets of our friends had gotten engaged and he didn’t want to tell me at the time because I am a shrewish harpy (my words, not his) and he was afraid of my reaction to the news. I found this stupid and embarrassing, but also concurred that he was perhaps correct about my probable reaction, and immediately contacted said friends to congratulate them. End up looking the fool when I find out the news that a) she was engaged in AUGUST and b) Colby is supposed to be a groomsman in her wedding in MARCH. THE HELL?? I’m kind of wondering how he was planning on explaining why he was going to Georgia for a weekend in March with his mess dress in hand. Also kind of wondering just what else has been going on for the past year that he has not been telling me about.

5) The fact that I found out this little gem of information right at the Crucial Moment in the last 10 minutes of The Bachelor, thereby ruining the experience entirely as I became sidetracked by my seething rage and indignation.

6) Stupid reality tv shows that suck you in and make you love them, but spend their entire Exciting Finale showing you flashback clips and other idiotic filler. I don’t think that we are giving equally to this relationship. I feel as though I’m making all of the effort and I’m just not getting a good return on my investment. However, did I call The Bachelor finale or did I call The Bachelor finale?

7) There is another thing, but it is work related and it would make me look not very good in the eyes of the Air Force, so I will leave it at this and only say, God, that is so ANNOYING!

On the plus side to yesterday, I have discovered another joyous way to cyberstalk people. This has always been one of my favorite things to do—I’ve been Googling people I know since the dawn of Googling. Then there came Facebook, and my cyberstalking was opened up to a whole new world of ex-boyfriends and people I never talk to anymore. Then I heard about MySpace, but I didn’t fully comprehend the potential. A friend started a blog there so I finally signed up with a very bare minimum profile, but still didn’t understand. But last night I was bored, and annoyed, and cyberstalking always manages to soothe me, so I thought, hm, I will Google The Crush Who Does Not Know Me From Sam! So, I did, and found very minimal information. He’s too old for Facebook, so that was out. Then I thought to myself—MySpace! Alas, he was not to be found… BUT there were so many others who WERE! I spent at least an hour looking up everyone I could think of with about a 50% success rate.

This is my life. Is it not the most exciting thing you can imagine?

Comments

[kendra]

I'll trade you dog training advice for some cyberstalking tips...deal? We'll talk...

[Brittany]

Mom wanted me to tell you she's thinking of having you committed, but then, I think you're already thinking that yourself. :)

That's just another reason we love you!

[Dawn]

Woman, get yourself a Gmail account. I have about 5000 invitations. It's a little weird at first, but you get used to it. Plus, no stupid word verification and it OBSESSIVELY saves your drafts for you while you're composing mails. Like, every time you take a break from typing to ponder. It's fantastic.

[M]

Hahahahaha. Cyberstalking. Fun. Just don't let the man catch ya! ;)

[AC]

I laughed and laughed reading this. For a righteously annoyed person you are eloquently funny! I can enter the state of high annoyance in a nanosecond so girlfriend, I feel your pain. The dog picture-in-words was priceless. And I thought the bell thing was a great idea

[colleen]

I hope today will be better! Michele sent me.

[sophie]

Have a better day today. That's an order!

[goofy girl]

What is with yahoo mail recently, it's been very poor! If you want a gmail invite - if you missed everyone offering one, I can send you one. I use them both.

The bachelor has to be the worst of promising the MOST DRAMATIC ROSE CEREMONY EVERRRRR!! and then not delivering. I think we need to break up with them and tell them how much of a tease they are!!

Hope today was one of those *glad to get out of bed instead of the not so glad like yesterday!

[Shelley]

Okay - I don't know what Facebook is or gmail is. I do however know what Myspace is and quite frankly the concept kinda freaks me out..........maybe it's a sign I am getting to old for the technological age!

And can I just say, NOT THE BOYFRIEND (now very appropriately named) You suck! H-E-L-L-O.....DUH!!!!

I love you Angela!

[Becky]

Your annoyances are all mine, too. I'm so with you on the dog pee thing, but I know there's nothing I can do about mine. I swear, Kona has to manufacture urine, for he pees far more than he could possibly drink.