Tomorrow Is Another Day...

National De-lurker Day Game! (At Least On My Page!!)

Well my fair friends, the time has come for me to bid you a fond adieu... at least for a little while. With my internet addiction, I'll be lucky if I make it a week without getting on at least once. Especially since my fancy, beautiful new laptop has a wireless connection!

I have yet to pack, however, the bathroom has been cleaned, house dusted, kitchen is sparkling, floors are vacuumed... the packing however is always a horrifying last minute endeavor. I've tried packing in advance, but I always end up digging through my perfectly stacked clothing and shoes stuffed with socks at least 5 times, trying to remember if I actually packed my phone charger or if I just thought about it. So, Thursday night I'll probably stay up until about 2 in the morning packing and then still go through everything 5 more times the next day, inevitably still forgetting to pack underwear.

However, during my absence I invite you all to de-lurk yourselves and help me in writing my 100 Things list! (It did however occur to me late last night (because yes, I think about my site ALL THE DAMN TIME) that those 20 things I wrote yesterday can totally be included in the hundred--so I've only got 60 left now!) (And can it actually be a National De-Lurking Day if it's only on my site? And if not, what should I call it?) (And could I please stop with the asides in parentheses?)

I shamelessly stole this idea from Day-by-Day, and I invite you to ask me a question, any question, in the comments section. I know you are all just burning with curiosity about whether I prefer Burger King or McDonald's or what color my hair is right now (because, yes! It's changed again!), so here's your chance! Whether you found me by googling something dirty, or stumbled upon me from another site, or you just know me in real life and so feel guilted into coming here because I will totally quiz you on my site to make sure you're reading... Ask away! And when I return to blogging-land I shall bestow my answers upon you all like a gift from the gods.

(And please do ask questions, because, y'all 100 is a way bigger number than I ever really thought... It doesn't seem like that much when it involves acquiring shoes...)

Signing off! Angela, out.

Like a Virgin, Tagged for the Very First Time

Well, for my very first meme ever I’ve been tagged by the fantastic Stephanie—go check her out, she’s quite the funny one! So, here's a list of 20 random things about myself. Next I'm to tag as many people as it took minutes for me to write my list.

1) I’m terrified of heights—but only ones from which I could actually fall. For example, I’m totally cool with rollercoasters and airplanes but put me on a jungle gym 4 feet off the ground and I will literally freeze in fear and maybe cry a little.

2) I LOVE chocolate. In a completely unhealthy drug addiction sort of way. Not a healthy God’s love kind of way.

3) I hate feet. People need to wear close-toed shoes. Always. End of story.

4) I’ve worked in my office for 6 months now and hadn’t hung a single picture on the wall until yesterday.

5) I was supposed to be a navigator in the Air Force, but then realized that the fact that I can’t even figure out how to get around on the ground where there are streets and signs probably didn’t bode well for that career choice. Now I push paper.

6) My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 3 years—2 ½ years of that has been long distance. Ugh.

7) I’m a Sagittarius. I have no idea what that means.

8) I was always one of the youngest kids in my class since I was born so late in the year. I graduated high school when I was 17 (mom and dad, close your eyes for this part) so my whole first semester of college I had to sneak into the clubs using my friend's id so I could hang out with my friends. I'm not sure why the bouncers never noticed that there were two girls with the same name trying to get in, but hey, I guess they didn't get hired for their smarts.

9) I love getting flowers—there’s nothing that can make me feel as special as getting a big beautiful bouquet!

10) In college I majored in English and minored in History. Moral of the story: Never major in a subject you actually enjoy, because after 4 years of having it forced down your throat you will probably hate it.

11) I love my car to bits, and my friend totally copied me. Single White Female Alert!! (Love you Annie!!)

12) I’m pretty sure all of my friends are engaged or married at this point… I’m the last hold out. 13) Similar to my love for chocolate is my love for lists. In fact, I cannot function without a list. But if I can just scratch things off as I go along I can rule the world!

14) I hate talking on the phone, and therefore am TERRIBLE about returning phone calls. Having a long distance relationship and moving hundreds of miles away from family and friends has sort of forced me to learn to love it, but I would still so much rather talk to you in person! Or email… I love email!

15) I rarely carry cash on me—I’ll pretty much charge anything. And I love that McDonald’s takes credit cards now. And I will charge that 99 cent Frosty--watch me. Dangerous…

16) I commend myself on my excellent judge of character. I never have liked Tom Cruise, even when he was just the “hottie from Top Gun”. I always thought he kind of looked like a rat.

17) I don’t watch the news at night, but I’m heartbroken if I miss E! News… I’m sick.

18) If I could wear high heels every day with everything, I would. Because I love, love, love heels!

19) I’ve flown a Cessna before, scary thought, right? Even better? I totally made an old crusty fighter pilot throw up as soon as we landed.

20) I hate doing laundry. It’s a never ending process… every time I wash a load by the time it’s all washed, dried, and folded there’s a whole other load that needs to go.

Wow, is that really my last one? That makes me look so horribly boring… quick, go back and read the one about sneaking into clubs that’s much more edgy and interesting! And this took me approximately 400 million minutes to finish since I’m doing this at work (but only in my spare time, because I am incredibly industrious and dedicated to my job… just in case anyone important ever reads this…) so I’m so not going to tag that many people… how’s about Sophie, Russ, Becky, and RG.  Have fun y’all and please don't hate me, love me!!

Gotta Love Kids

Overheard at Pinnacle Mountain yesterday:

Boyscout 1:  Why do we have to camp so far away?

Boyscout 2:  So that it's easier to carry the firewood.

Boyscout 1:  Why do we have to have firewood?

Boyscout 2:  So that we can be warm and have fire.

Boyscout 1:  Why do we have to be warm?

Boyscout 2:  So that we don't get cold... and die.

Boyscout 1:  Why would we have to die?

Boyscout 2:  Because that's the way God wants it.

You have to love that logic!

So There's Good News and There's Bad News...

The good news is that it seems as though Jack is going to be a-okay with a little more time. I've got him on about 4oo bazillion medications, and he's bound and determined to see to it that I can never again afford to have my hair colored by a professional ever again, but I think he'll pull through this one. He's back to bounding around when we go outside and thinking that pretty much anything deposited on the floor belongs to him--interspersed with nasty coughs and sniffles--but we'll take it!

The bad news is... not good, hence the "bad". And really, I'm not ready to talk about it here yet. Because, as we all know, once we talk about things on the Internet, they become REAL. And I'm not down with Reality. I prefer my Reality on the TV, where it belongs.

That being said, amen for the weekends and for the fact that there are only 3 more working days until I am OFF WORK FOR 3 SOLID WEEKS!! It's about dayum time! I haven't taken real leave probably since Christmas. There were those 4 days I went up to visit my grandmother, but considering 2 of those days were spent on the airplane, I didn't ever quite get to the "letting down my hair" stage of the vacay.

So, this weekend will consist of a little volunteer work and cleaning the house like a madwoman before I leave for my trip. I always used to make fun of my mom when she would make us scour the house before we would leave it--what, do we want the robbers to be impressed with our cleanliness when they break in and steal all of our sparkling Mr. Cleaned appliances? But here I am, needing desperately to know that my house will smell pretty when I come home and I can crash on the couch without wondering why I smell eau de dead body emanating from under the kitchen sink.

Gah!

Suddenly pet insurance isn't seeming so silly and frivolous...

100 Things Cont...

Well, it’s off again to yet another veterinary visit this afternoon—I think we’re just going to rent a room there. Poor darling puppy just keeps collecting afflictions like it’s going out of style. His cough has diminished a lot, but his nose is still awfully stuffy and last night he started having trouble with his left eye. It has a lot of discharge in it, and he kept doing the Popeye the Sailor man squint—all he needed was a can of spinach and a jaunty hat and the likeness would have been uncanny! By the end of the night his eye was completely shut and he was having a lot of trouble opening it, this morning same story. When he does get it opened it’s all filmy looking and I can’t tell if there’s something actually wrong with his eye itself or if it’s just covered in the slime! Either way, not good. So, off we go again. Our regular vet is out of the office today, so hopefully he’ll take okay to the new doctor since he’s a man. Jack is not exactly fond of the boys. Smart puppy!

Anyway, for lack of anything better to talk about and to take my mind off things I’ll be continuing on with the ever popular 100 Things List! Episode 11-20:

11) I pick up accents INCREDIBLY easily when I’m around people with strong accents. However, I never retain them and am happy to say that I’ve been told many times that I don’t sound like I’m from the South. Sadly, living in Arkansas every now and then a little twang will slip into a word or two.

12) I started highlighting my hair when I was 16 and I have had my hair colored red, brown, black, and blonde. Honestly, I can’t even really remember my natural hair color unless I’m looking at old pictures.

13) I absolutely despise confrontation. I will agree with pretty much anything anyone says just to keep from an argument. Unless of course I’m very close to you, then I’ll argue with you like crazy. It just all goes back to that whole contradiction thing…

14) I have 3 sisters—two older that live in Texas and one younger still in school in Louisiana. I love them all to bits and don’t get to spend nearly enough time with them anymore.

15) I have killed two pets so far, a gerbil and a purple Betta, and am hoping and praying that the pup doesn’t succumb to my dark curse. I’ve also managed to keep two more gerbils thriving FAR beyond their life expectancy.

16) I lived in the dorms for 4 years in college because my ROTC scholarship paid for me to live on base. I had a total of 7 different roommates and only actually liked one of them. Sadly, that was the year of “Angela’s Obsession with her Boyfriend”, so I never got to spend as much time with her as I would have liked. I’ve lost touch with her over the past year or so, but still think about her a lot and wonder how she’s doing.

17) I’ve been to Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Florida, Georgia, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Mississippi, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, Tennessee, Texas, Virginia, and Washington D.C. I also just sang the 50 states song to remember all of those! I’m getting ready to tack on a whole lot more in our cross-country trek to Washington.

18) Out of the country I’ve been to England, Scotland, Wales, and Ireland. I’m hoping to get to Canada while we’re in Washington and Italy sometime next year. I love to travel.

19) I adore old-movies. Special bonus if they were directed by Alfred Hitchcock and/or have Cary Grant, Jimmy Stewart, Audrey Hepburn, or Vivien Leigh.

20) I drive an ’03 Mazda Tribute and it’s the first and only car I’ve ever had. I didn’t want a used car so I saved up my money and didn’t have a car until I was 20. (I also didn’t have my license until I was about 19, but that’s a whole other story for another installment!)

Oh, okay, and just editing to add... Lost is completely INSANE all of a sudden... check out these links... (and what the hell is up with Jin speaking PERFECT ENGLISH in the promo for tonights episode???)

Hanso Foundation

Dharma Initiative

Oceanic Air

What is *up* with this show?? I'm boggled I tell you... boggled... and a little creeped out by the Hanso guy to be perfectly honest.

Breaking News

Infants should not smoke during pregnancy. God, that explains soooo much, I foresee a dramatic drop in the occurrence of SIDS after this revelation. Damn those babies and their dirty nicotine habits.

From Reuters:
“No one is entirely sure what causes SIDS. But lying prone, or face-down, sleeping on a soft surface, smoking during pregnancy, overheating, late or no prenatal care, having a young mother, being born pre-term or at a low weight all greatly raise a baby's risk [of SIDS].”

Jumping On Yet Another Bandwagon

Okay, so I talk about myself a lot here… actually, that’s pretty much all I talk about. But I realize that for those of you who don’t know me in real life there are still ever so many things left to learn! So, I’ve decided to go along with the blogging crowd once again and post my “100 Things”. Personally I find the concept of coming up with 100 things about myself a little overwhelming, and quite frankly, who has time for that all at once? So, I’ll break it down—every week I’ll post 10 or so things until we get to 100.

See, it’ll be like a cliff-hanger each week! You’ll have to come back for more! I learned ever so much from Caroline Keene. Okay, so, let’s get started!

1)  I’ve lived my entire life right around or below the Mason Dixon line. I was born in Oklahoma, moved to Virginia at the age of two, down to Louisiana when I was six, and to Arkansas last year. I consider myself a southern belle and don’t listen to anyone who thinks otherwise.

2)  When my sister was born I really thought she was going away at some point and was horrified to realize she was around to stay. I proceeded to throw toys at her and blame her for my misdeeds for pretty much the rest of our childhood. Now she’s my best friend—but don’t piss me off because I’m not above dropping a babydoll on your head!

3)  I grew up adoring my grandmother’s Scarlett O'Hara doll in its glass case. At the age of 12 I watched Gone With the Wind, and read the book not long after. It was the beginning of a beautiful friendship! Now Scarlett sits on top of my entertainment center in that very same glass case and brings back wonderful memories of “my first time”.

4)  My sister and I were each allowed to choose 30 minutes of television each to watch each night, so most of the television shows from my childhood I’ve seen in the past 5 or 6 years in syndication.

5)  I’m glad we could only watch a limited amount of television because instead of sitting glued to a tv we were reading or playing outside.

6)  I have a large walk-in closet packed with shoes, clothes, and purses that I can never use because I wear a uniform every morning and pretty much stay in my pajamas on weekends. For some reason I continue to buy more clothes and dream of the day that I can wear them again!

7)  True Confession: I love MK and Ashley Olsen and Ashlee Simpson. I don’t care what people say or how ridiculous they become—if I see anything about them on tv I will stop and watch it. I’ve seen their THS a million times and my sister and I shout out “Pieces of Me” any time it’s on the radio, much to the chagrin of those around us.

8)  I only went to the principal’s office once while I was in school. It was when I was in the 8^th grade for a tuna fish food fight in the cafeteria. It was with my crush of 3 years and our punishment was cleaning up the cafeteria during break after lunch for a week. Thing was we didn’t have a break that week because it was midterms or finals. We totally beat the system! (And to this day I think the principal thought it was hysterical.)

9)  I won a writing contest once for writing “the next chapter” to Gone With the Wind. I’m pretty sure my dad rigged it, but hey, I’m fine with that!

10) I played Sleeping Beauty in my first grade school musical, and so did another girl in my class. My mom made my dress by hand, but that other bi-atch told me that it was ugly because she was wearing the pink dress and mine should have been blue. It broke my heart and I was convinced I had a horrible dress—kids can be really nasty. I did however learn the box step at the age of 6 so that was pretty cool!

Yeah… so there are 1o things about me… it’s surprisingly hard to come up with interesting things about yourself, I’m a bit daunted by this task now! Stay tuned for future installments—I promise, they’ll be utterly fascinating. (Another thing about me is that I was a compulsive liar growing up—take that for what it’s worth…)

What I Learned At Work Today

Okay, this is either going to make you laugh your ass off or make your head explode. I won’t get into my reaction since I’ve decided to not get into any of my political or religious view here, either way, it’s pretty interesting and it says a lot about us as a country I think...

1) Go to Google.com

2) Type in the word “failure”

3) Click “I’m Feeling Lucky”

4) Stare, mouth gaping open unnatractively at your screen and either let out a strangled gurgle of shock and horror or guffaw loudly in appreciation

Also, I had a very lucid “holy crap, I live in Arkansas” moment this morning while driving to work. A woman called into the radio show I listen to asking where she could get Dora the Explorer tickets (apparently there’s a show coming to stage around here). The host told her that she could either enter to win a pair from the radio station or go to Ticketmaster to buy them. The woman had never heard of Ticketmaster. They then told her that she could Google the word “ticket” to get the Ticketmaster website. She’d never heard of Google.

I’m sorry, but even if I had never heard of those things I sooooo would have lied and pretended like I had. But then, I succumb to peer pressure easily, so maybe that says something about my weak-natured personality.

I remember in 6^th grade I was playing Hangman in my choir class and the category was “Celebrity Couple”. The answer was Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale, but it took me every last body part to get there—I’d never heard of either or them. But I was all, "Oh, I just didn't know how to spell Stefani..." only I think I prounounced it "Stephahie". I was a sheltered as a child. Now I think I shelter my parents. Isn’t it strange how that works out?

Anyway, our big 50^th Anniversary Airshow is this weekend, so I’ll be going in to work for a few hours on Saturday and Sunday—just point me in the direction of the Thunderbird pilots, see y’all later!

Why Buy the Cow?

Okay, I just got totally freaked out by ET—the television show, not the little phone home creature. Remember virginal Katie Holmes—our little Dawson’s Creek whiz kid? The one who got us through high school and reminded us that total dorks can be hot and cause love triangles too?

And remember how she was such an adorable little Catholic girl that was saving herself until marriage—quite possibly the reason that her relationship of 8 months with Josh Jackson ended?

Guess who’s knocked up now?

I’m sorry, but this relationship is just seeming more and more wrong to me each and every day. First they’re engaged just months after Katie ends her 5 year relationship with Chris Klein. Then she decides to change her Catholic ways and look into Scientology… because Tom is so awesome of course! Then she CHANGES HER WHOLE NAME to Kate Cruise because Tom likes “Kate” better than “Katie”. And now she’s apparently decided that being engaged with no foreseeable wedding date is as good as married so why not whoop it up with the hot midget?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a prude and I don’t judge people who have sex before marriage. Quite frankly, I really don’t care if Tom and Katie are having sex or just creating some kind of bizarre Scientology immaculate conception. I just find it so sick that this young girl seems to have fallen under some kind of Svengali-like influence and has become an entirely different person for her man.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my time it’s that it’s not worth changing yourself or your ideals for any man or woman. You’ve got to maintain your own identity, your own self-worth, your own individuality. It’s sad to see someone so beautiful and talented who should be so strong and independent bend her values and self-worth so easily under the influence of a man.

So, Katie, I wish you the best of health and a beautiful baby, but I also hope at some point that you regain your senses and stop portraying this highly immature infatuation as true love. How many young girls are watching you and thinking that this is what a real relationship should be about?

I Quit. I’m Going Home and Bringing My Toys With Me.

I’m trying to approach this in an amusing manner, because that’s what I do. I laugh things off and quite frankly, how entertaining is it to the internet to hear me whine. But y’all, it’s really hard to be funny about the fact that your 7 month old puppy may be dying right in front of you and there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it. Of course, he also may not be, but quite frankly the not knowing is almost worse and either way you look at it THIS SUCKS. And WAAAAH.

Apparently the reason he was being kind of a twit on his walks this weekend was because he was incredibly sick. With an assortment of things. And I just thought he had a little puppy cold. I am the world’s worst mother.

His hookworms are back, he’s still fighting off the tapeworm, he’s running a fever, coughing, has large amounts of nasal and eye discharge, his appetite is waning, he has no energy, and he’s become a little disoriented.

Unfortunately it’s those last few things that sort of make my vet throw up her hands in confusion. I know I’ve made fun of them in the past, but she’s been really great trying to find out what’s wrong with him. There’s a dog flu going around in some states (although no cases have been reported in Arkansas), it could be a particularly virulent strain of kennel cough or pneumonia, it could just be the hookworms, or most terrifyingly it could be distemper. Here’s what Dr. Google has to say about distemper:

Canine distemper virus is passed rapidly through coughed or sneezed droplets of saliva. It then invades the lymphatic tissue. Within two to five days lymphatic tissue throughout the body is infected. By the sixth to ninth day, the virus is present in the blood. It then spreads to the surfaces of the lungs, intestine and bladder and, on occasion, to the nervous system. Labored breathing and an unkempt appearance are common. By the third week most dogs have either died from the infection or recovered. Exceptions are the cases in which damage to the brain is delayed for up to three months. These delayed cases often show no respiratory or intestinal signs before delayed nerve damage occurs. In a few cases, the virus persists in the eyes, footpads and nervous system. Mortality from the disease is about fifty percent with mild cases showing very few or no disease sign. Most dogs that die from distemper die from neurological complications."

Um, no thank you! We won’t have any of that if you please. Anyway, all we can do is wait. He got his de-worming medicine yesterday for the hookworms, some of his blood has been sent off to Florida to get the flu test but the results won’t be back for 2 weeks, and the best I can do is just see if his new medications work on his symptoms.

It just makes me so angry that some asshat out there had a litter of dogs that they didn’t know what to do with so he just decided to beat on them for a little while and then kick them out on the streets to fend for themselves. It just makes zero sense to me—how does that ever seem okay to someone? Jack never would have gotten this sick if it hadn’t been for his time on the streets and in the shelter, and oh, the fury that it inspires in me is just indescribable.

Yeah, so that’s been fun.

And last night I shot soap in my eye. Because apparently a very persistent someone upstairs wants me blind and the toner didn’t quite do the trick.

Oh, and one last thing, to all of you who keep googling Jackie: The 627 Lb Woman, I’m sorry, this must be a very disappointing letdown for you. Same thing to those of you looking for Brigdette, Holly, and Kendra—sorry, wrong number.

Walking With Paul Anka

For any of you who haven’t been watching Gilmore Girls lately, my title will make absolutely zero sense, however those of you who have no life and have been watching obsessively (like moi) know that Lorelai recently adopted a puppy and bestowed him with the mystifying name Paul Anka. All I’m saying is that the writers of this show HAVE to have adopted a dog before, or at least spent time with a shelter puppy, because they’ve hit the nail right on the head. This dog, much like Jack, is afraid. Of. EVERYTHING. So, I’ve taken to calling Jack Paul Anka 1) because it’s funny 2) because I think it annoys him and that’s even funnier. Not that he probably even knows his real name since I usually call him Peanut, or Bunny, or Bug, or some other sickeningly sweet term of endearment.

Anyway, yesterday I took him for a walk, and his antics were even more creative than usual. Before we go out for a walk I always take him potty in our special potty place where I don’t have to pick it up, because no matter how many times I pick up dog crap, I just don’t think I’ll ever really get used to it. So he did his thing and then we proceeded jauntily on our way. Typically about 5 minutes into the walk he’s dragging behind and begging me to “pleeeeeaaaaase go hoooooooome”, but being the tyrant that I am, I keep dragging him along for at least 30 minutes. So I didn’t think much of it when he started lagging behind on our way up the first hill… until I noticed that the people in the car driving by were laughing… at me… So I turned around and Jack is just trucking along behind me in his little poop squat with an impressive poop trail in our wake. I hadn’t brought a poop bag with me, so I found a stick and did my best to scrape it into the gutter. (Also, it's just now occurring to me that I talk about poop way too much.)

After this adventure we met with the usual--fear of fire hydrants, large bushes, bags of leaves, large fake rocks (??), gutters, etc--but we kept walking and we came upon our friend Yappy Dog, whom I would very much like to shoot pet and love. It’s so bizarre, because most barking dogs don’t have too much of an effect of Mr. Anka, but for some reason he starts getting all excited when we come withing a 200 foot radius of Yappy Dog's house. He starts dancing and prancing around, trying to dart across traffic to get to this dog, practically drooling in his zeal to go bark in harmony with his little friend. I kept him reined in, and got a fabulous arm workout out of it, and made it by the house creating a cacophany as every dog in the neighborhood decided that they wanted to play too. Then, with my ears still ringing Jack seems to decide he’s had about enough of this whole walking business. He planted himself in the middle of the sidewalk, and no amount of sweet talking or tugging would convince him to move on—even when I promised to stop calling him Paul Anka, he still just sat there and stared at me glassy eyed. Finally I got his butt moving again and we made the slow, painful progression home and collapsed in a heap in front of the tv--where we truly belong.

So all in all it was quite the adventure, and when we got home he proceeded to cough the entire rest of the day and of course into the night and through the morning, so it’s back to the vet we go this afternoon. They know us by reputation now “Oh! Is that the little shelter puppy?!” It’s cute and yet sort of sad at the same time. He really needs to stop with the whole sick thing though, because mom is totally going to Washington in a couple of weeks and he needs to be healthy enough that I can desert him at the vet to be boarded for three weeks. I’m not thinking they’ll take too kindly to my dog coming in and spreading pneumonia amongst the masses.

In Mourning

Just in case you hadn’t heard from 420 million other sources, Paris² is no longer… I’m so destroyed by this announcement that all I am capable of today is this memorial to the tabloid couple that could have been. When I think of what we're missing... the beautiful gown, reminiscent of the trashy ho era, the elegant reception/drunken orgy, the likely children that could have been introduced into the world/juvenile rehab... How can you not cry a little when you think of all we'll be missing?

And so, Paris and Paris here's to you--because where else will I get my fix of dirty whore and highly unnattractive hanger-on??

Oh... yeah...

At least we know we'll always have Brit Brit and K-Fed... right?