Doctor Google

Well, the visit to Dr. Hackemoff (as it was put so genteely) has been postponed once again. I have also found that in this day and age of Google those 7 years of schooling to become a doctor are just completely unnecessary. I went online after I saw the worms and typed this technical information into the search engine “small flat white worms + dog” and found more pictures than I could ever hope for of nasty tapeworm segments. So, I then called the vet and got the secretary and told her that his kennel cough had come back in full force and that I was pretty sure he had tapeworm, and she’s all “okay, well just stop by and we’ll give him some medicine for it.”

Huh? That’s it? You don’t even want to see him?

So I go in after work and pick up his medicines and when I got home I was looking at them and I didn’t recognize the name of the antibiotic from the sites I had been reading so I called the vet back to reschedule his neutering and book him for the kennel for the 3 weeks that I’ll be out of town and I asked what the antibiotic was for because “I looked it up and all I could find was that it could be used to treat urinary tract infections or pneumonia, but you know, maybe I’m wrong? Help?” (oftentimes I’ve found that playing dumb and asking questions I already know the answers to gets people to help me out a lot better than saying “hey doctor I told you my dog had tapeworm and you gave me a UTI medication, have you been doing coke with Kate Moss?”) All that I had read about tapeworm said that it could be treated with a medication, but more quickly with two injections spaced 3 weeks apart. I had been hoping for the injection, but figured they’d just given it to me in pill form. So, she tells me “oh, honey, that won’t treat the tapeworm, that’s for his cough”

Again, huh? I did call yesterday about the tapeworm, right?

Oh, yes, he’ll need an injection for that, bring him by anytime!

(In my head: Sort of like when I took him in yesterday to pick up the medicine?)

In real life: Okay, we’ll be in after I get off work either today or tomorrow… thanks…

So, yeah. Just call me Dr. Angela, veterinarian to the stars… or my dog… or you know, whatever.

Anyway, moral of the story: Kids, if you ever want to get your hands on some drugs, just invent a pet and call with all kinds of afflictions that you’ve self-diagnosed through the magic of Google. Works like a charm!

Also, I’ve reached the depressing conclusion that this is become very frighteningly like a mommy blog, and I don’t even have a kid… I promise, the next few entries will have nothing to do with Jack. Or at least very little mention of him. I realize that this is really only interesting to me, and if you are still reading it’s probably only out of some kind of twisted loyalty. It’s too bad I don’t drink heavily and party all the time; this could be a much more interesting place.

Comments

[Brittany]

I care about Jack! He is my nephew of course, in some twisted way. I hope he's feeling better soon, the poor baby!

[indigo]

I wonder if I could get out an office visit charge if I did that with one of my pets? Somehow, I doubt it. :-/

[kenju]

See how alert we have to be all the time?! Had you not been paying attention, the poor baby could have been getting thinner and thinner from the worms. ICK!
Good for you! The internet is a wonderful thing.

[Jass]

Dr. Google is the best these days! hehe I hope Jack feels better soon, and hugs to you Ang! xoxo

[chris]

hello angela, i'm visiting via michelle and delighted to wind up here! the vet's office being dumber than the dog is a reoccuring refrain at our house. also BIG fan of the incomparable dr. google. blessings

[Twisted Cinderella]

I use Google all the time for all sorts of things. It really is the most handy tool I have other than www.allrecipes.com and the ingredient search.

[ribbiticus]

yup, google is indeed a blessing! hope your poor puppy's feeling better. here via michele. :)

[grrltraveler]

It's a family motto here too.. "google it" whenever you want to know an answer to something. used to be "look in the encyclopedia" (or are you too young to remember those days? (or am I too old?))) lol

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